TED@State Street London
Morgana Bailey: The danger of hiding who you are
Morgana Bailey: Opasnosti skrivanja onoga što jesi
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Morgana Bailey skrivala je samu sebe šesnaest godina. U ovom hrabrom govoru izgovara tri riječi koje mnogima ne zvuče kao bogzna što, ali na nju su djelovale paralizirajuće. Zašto je progovorila? Zato što je shvatila da njezina šutnja ima osobne, profesionalne i društvene posljedice. Pred publikom sastavljenom od njenih kolega progovara o tome što znači strahovati od osuđivanja i kako to utječe na naš stav o nama samima.
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professional
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
When I was young,
I prided myself as a nonconformist
I prided myself as a nonconformist
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Kad sam bila mlada,
ponosila sam se svojim nekonformizmom
ponosila sam se svojim nekonformizmom
00:17
in the conservative
U.S. state I live in, Kansas.
U.S. state I live in, Kansas.
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dok sam živjela u konzervativnoj američkoj
državi,Kansasu.
državi,Kansasu.
00:22
I didn't follow along with the crowd.
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Nisam slijedila gomilu.
00:24
I wasn't afraid to try
weird clothing trends or hairstyles.
weird clothing trends or hairstyles.
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Nisam se ustručavala isprobati čudne
modne trendove i frizure.
modne trendove i frizure.
00:28
I was outspoken and extremely social.
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Bila sam otvorena i iznimno društvena.
00:31
Even these pictures and postcards
of my London semester abroad 16 years ago
of my London semester abroad 16 years ago
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Čak i ove slike i razglednice s razmjene
u Londonu prije 16 godina
u Londonu prije 16 godina
00:38
show that I obviously didn't care
if I was perceived as weird or different.
if I was perceived as weird or different.
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pokazuju da me očito nije bilo briga što
su svi na mene gledali kao na čudakinju.
su svi na mene gledali kao na čudakinju.
00:44
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
00:46
But that same year
I was in London, 16 years ago,
I was in London, 16 years ago,
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Ali te iste godine kad sam bila u
Londonu, prije 16 godina,
Londonu, prije 16 godina,
00:51
I realized something about myself
that actually was somewhat unique,
that actually was somewhat unique,
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shvatila sam nešto o sebi što je bilo
jedinstveno, i to
jedinstveno, i to
00:56
and that changed everything.
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je promijenilo sve.
01:01
I became the opposite
of who I thought I once was.
of who I thought I once was.
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Postala sam svoja suprotnost.
01:05
I stayed in my room
instead of socializing.
instead of socializing.
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Zatvorila sam se u sobu umjesto da sam se
družila s ljudima.
družila s ljudima.
01:08
I stopped engaging in clubs
and leadership activities.
and leadership activities.
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Prestala sam ići u noćne klubove i biti
vođa u aktivnostima.
vođa u aktivnostima.
01:12
I didn't want to stand out
in the crowd anymore.
in the crowd anymore.
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Nisam se više htjela isticati.
01:16
I told myself it was because
I was growing up and maturing,
I was growing up and maturing,
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Rekla sam si da je to zato što odrastam i
sazrijevam, a ne
sazrijevam, a ne
01:20
not that I was suddenly
looking for acceptance.
looking for acceptance.
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zato što sam iznenada tražila prihvaćanje.
01:23
I had always assumed I was immune
to needing acceptance.
to needing acceptance.
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Uvijek sam mislila da mi ne treba
tuđe prihvaćanje.
tuđe prihvaćanje.
01:26
After all, I was a bit unconventional.
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Ipak sam bila nekonvencionalna.
01:29
But I realize now
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Ali sada shvaćam
01:31
that the moment I realized
something was different about me
something was different about me
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da sam u istom onom trenutku u kojem sam
shvatila da se nešto na meni promijenilo
shvatila da se nešto na meni promijenilo
01:35
was the exact same moment
that I began conforming and hiding.
that I began conforming and hiding.
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počela bježati u konformizam i
skrivati se.
skrivati se.
01:41
Hiding is a progressive habit,
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Skrivanje je progresivna navika i kad je
01:44
and once you start hiding,
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jednom počnete prakticirati,
01:45
it becomes harder and harder
to step forward and speak out.
to step forward and speak out.
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sve je teže i teže ustati iz gomile i
progovoriti.
progovoriti.
01:51
In fact, even now,
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Zapravo, čak i sad
01:53
when I was talking to people
about what this talk was about,
about what this talk was about,
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kad sam ljudima govorila o tome o čemu ću
pričati u ovom govoru,
pričati u ovom govoru,
01:57
I made up a cover story
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izmislila sam priču
01:59
and I even hid the truth
about my TED Talk.
about my TED Talk.
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i čak sam skriila istinu o
svom TED-govoru.
svom TED-govoru.
02:04
So it is fitting and scary
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Stoga je zastrašujuće
02:09
that I have returned
to this city 16 years later
to this city 16 years later
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da sam se vratila u ovaj grad nakon
16 godina
16 godina
02:13
and I have chosen this stage
to finally stop hiding.
to finally stop hiding.
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i izabrala ovu pozornicu da se
konačno prestanem skrivati.
konačno prestanem skrivati.
02:20
What have I been hiding
for 16 years?
for 16 years?
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Što sam skrivala 16 godina?
02:26
I am a lesbian.
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Ja sam lezbijka.
02:29
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
02:45
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
02:48
I've struggled to say those words,
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Mučila sam se tim riječima
02:50
because I didn't want
to be defined by them.
to be defined by them.
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jer nisam htjela da me definiraju.
02:53
Every time I would think
about coming out in the past,
about coming out in the past,
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U prošlosti, svaki put kad bih razmišljala
o deklariranju,
o deklariranju,
02:56
I would think to myself,
but I just want to be known as Morgana,
but I just want to be known as Morgana,
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pomislila bih, ali ja samo želim biti
Morgana,
Morgana,
03:01
uniquely Morgana,
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samo Morgana,
03:03
but not "my lesbian friend Morgana,"
or "my gay coworker Morgana."
or "my gay coworker Morgana."
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a ne "moja prijateljica lezbijka Morgana",
ili "moja gay-kolegica Morgana".
ili "moja gay-kolegica Morgana".
03:08
Just Morgana.
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Samo Morgana.
03:10
For those of you from large
metropolitan areas,
metropolitan areas,
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Za vas iz velegradskih područja
03:14
this may not seem like a big deal to you.
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ovo se možda ne čini kao velika stvar.
03:16
It may seem strange
that I have suppressed the truth
that I have suppressed the truth
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Može vam biti čudno da sam
potiskivala istinu
potiskivala istinu
03:19
and hidden this for so long.
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i ovoliko je dugo skrivala.
03:23
But I was paralyzed by my fear
of not being accepted.
of not being accepted.
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Ali strah od neprihvaćanja me paralizirao.
03:28
And I'm not alone, of course.
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Naravno, nisam jedina.
03:31
A 2013 Deloitte study found
that a surprisingly large number of people
that a surprisingly large number of people
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Deloitte istraživanje iz 2013. otkrilo je
da iznenađujuće velik broj ljudi
da iznenađujuće velik broj ljudi
03:36
hide aspects of their identity.
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skriva određene aspekte svoje osobnosti.
03:39
Of all the employees they surveyed,
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Od svih zaposlenika koje su ispitali
03:41
61 percent reported changing an aspect
of their behavior or their appearance
of their behavior or their appearance
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61 % izjavio je da mijenja neki aspekt
ponašanja ili izgleda
ponašanja ili izgleda
03:47
in order to fit in at work.
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kako bi se uklopio na radno mjesto.
03:49
Of all the gay, lesbian
and bisexual employees,
and bisexual employees,
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Od svih homoseksualnih, lezbijskih i
biseksualnih zaposlenika
biseksualnih zaposlenika
03:54
83 percent admitted to changing
some aspects of themselves
some aspects of themselves
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83 % priznalo je da mijenja određene
aspekte svoje ličnosti
aspekte svoje ličnosti
03:59
so they would not
appear at work "too gay."
appear at work "too gay."
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kako se na poslu ne bi doimali
"previše gay".
"previše gay".
04:04
The study found that even in companies
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Istraživanje je otkrilo da čak i u tvrtkama
04:07
with diversity policies
and inclusion programs,
and inclusion programs,
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s politikom raznolikosti i programima
inkluzije
inkluzije
04:11
employees struggle
to be themselves at work
to be themselves at work
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zaposlenici teško mogu
biti ono što jesu na poslu
biti ono što jesu na poslu
04:14
because they believe
conformity is critical
conformity is critical
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jer vjeruju da je konformizam ključan
04:16
to their long-term career advancement.
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za njihov dugoročan napredak u karijeri.
04:20
And while I was surprised
that so many people just like me
that so many people just like me
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Iako me iznenadilo da toliko ljudi,
poput mene,
poput mene,
04:25
waste so much energy
trying to hide themselves,
trying to hide themselves,
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bespotrebno troši energiju pokušavajući
skriti sebe,
skriti sebe,
04:29
I was scared when I discovered
that my silence
that my silence
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uplašila sam se kada sam otkrila da
moja šutnja
moja šutnja
04:33
has life-or-death consequences
and long-term social repercussions.
and long-term social repercussions.
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ima posljedice po pitanju života ili
smrti i dugoročne socijalne odjeke.
smrti i dugoročne socijalne odjeke.
04:41
Twelve years:
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Dvanaest godina:
04:43
the length by which
life expectancy is shortened
life expectancy is shortened
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toliko je skraćen očekivani životni vijek
04:46
for gay, lesbian and bisexual people
in highly anti-gay communities
in highly anti-gay communities
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homoseksualaca, lezbijki ili biseksualaca
u visoko homofobnim zajednicama
u visoko homofobnim zajednicama
04:53
compared to accepting communities.
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u usporedbi s onim nehomofobnim.
04:56
Twelve years reduced life expectancy.
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Dvanaest godina manje.
05:01
When I read that in The Advocate
magazine this year,
magazine this year,
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Kada sam to ove godine pročitala
u časopisu "The Advocate",
u časopisu "The Advocate",
05:04
I realized I could no longer
afford to keep silent.
afford to keep silent.
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shvatila sam da si više ne mogu
priuštiti šutnju.
priuštiti šutnju.
05:08
The effects of personal stress and
social stigmas are a deadly combination.
social stigmas are a deadly combination.
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Efekti osobnog stresa i društvene
stigme ubojita su kombinacija.
stigme ubojita su kombinacija.
05:16
The study found that gays
in anti-gay communities
in anti-gay communities
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Istraživanje je otkrilo da homoseksualci
u homofobnim zajednicama
u homofobnim zajednicama
05:19
had higher rates of heart disease,
violence and suicide.
violence and suicide.
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imaju više stope oboljenja od bolesti
srca, za nasilje i samoubojstvo.
srca, za nasilje i samoubojstvo.
05:25
What I once thought
was simply a personal matter
was simply a personal matter
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Shvatila sam da ono za što sam mislila da
je osobna stvar
je osobna stvar
05:29
I realized had a ripple effect
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ima domino-učinak koji se
05:31
that went into the workplace
and out into the community
and out into the community
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proteže od radnog mjesta
do društvene zajednice
do društvene zajednice
05:33
for every story just like mine.
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za svaku priču nalik mojoj.
05:37
My choice to hide
and not share who I really am
and not share who I really am
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Moj izbor za skrivanjem i
nedjeljenjem dijela sebe
nedjeljenjem dijela sebe
05:41
may have inadvertently contributed
to this exact same environment
to this exact same environment
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možda su nehotice
doprinijeli ovoj okolini
doprinijeli ovoj okolini
05:45
and atmosphere of discrimination.
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i atmosferi diskriminacije.
05:48
I'd always told myself
there's no reason to share that I was gay,
there's no reason to share that I was gay,
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Uvijek sam si govorila da nema razloga da
pričam okolo da sam gay,
pričam okolo da sam gay,
05:53
but the idea that my silence
has social consequences
has social consequences
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ali pomisao da moja šutnja ima društvene
posljedice
posljedice
05:57
was really driven home this year
when I missed an opportunity
when I missed an opportunity
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stvarno mi je sjela u glavu ove godine
kada sam propustila priliku
kada sam propustila priliku
06:02
to change the atmosphere of discrimination
in my own home state of Kansas.
in my own home state of Kansas.
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da promijenim tu atmosferu diskriminacije
u mojoj rodnoj državi, Kansasu.
u mojoj rodnoj državi, Kansasu.
06:08
In February, the Kansas House of
Representatives brought up a bill for vote
Representatives brought up a bill for vote
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U veljači Predstavnički dom
kongresa Kansasa predložio je zakon
kongresa Kansasa predložio je zakon
06:13
that would have essentially
allowed businesses
allowed businesses
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koji bi dozvolio trgovinama da
06:16
to use religious freedom as a reason
to deny gays services.
to deny gays services.
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koriste religijsku slobodu kao razlog za
uskraćivanje usluga homoseksualcima.
uskraćivanje usluga homoseksualcima.
06:25
A former coworker and friend of mine
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Bivša kolegica i prijateljica
06:28
has a father who serves
in the Kansas House of Representatives.
in the Kansas House of Representatives.
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ima oca koji sjedi u tom
predstavničkom domu.
predstavničkom domu.
06:33
He voted in favor of the bill,
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On je glasao ZA taj prijedlog,
06:38
in favor of a law that would allow
businesses to not serve me.
businesses to not serve me.
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ZA zakon koji bi trgovinama dozvolio da
me ne usluže.
me ne usluže.
06:46
How does my friend feel
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Što moja prijateljica misli o
lezbijkama, homoseksualcima,
lezbijkama, homoseksualcima,
06:48
about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
queer and questioning people?
queer and questioning people?
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biseksualcima, transeksualcima,
transtrodnima i onima koji se još traže?
transtrodnima i onima koji se još traže?
06:53
How does her father feel?
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Što njen otac misli?
06:56
I don't know, because I was never honest
with them about who I am.
with them about who I am.
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Ne znam jer im nikad nisam rekla
tko sam ja.
tko sam ja.
07:02
And that shakes me to the core.
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I to me duboko potresa.
07:05
What if I had told her my story years ago?
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Što bi bilo da sam joj davno ispričala
svoju priču?
svoju priču?
07:09
Could she have told
her father my experience?
her father my experience?
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Možda bi ona rekla svome ocu o
mojim iskustvima?
mojim iskustvima?
07:11
Could I have ultimately
helped change his vote?
helped change his vote?
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Možda sam ja mogla pomoći promijeniti
njegov glas?
njegov glas?
07:16
I will never know,
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Nikad neću znati
07:19
and that made me realize
I had done nothing
I had done nothing
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i to mi je pomoglo da shvatim
da nisam napravila baš ništa
da nisam napravila baš ništa
07:23
to try to make a difference.
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da pokušam nešto promijeniti.
07:27
How ironic that I work
in human resources,
in human resources,
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Ironično je da radim u odjelu ljudskih resursa,
07:31
a profession that works to welcome,
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profesija kojoj je cilj dočekati,
07:33
connect and encourage
the development of employees,
the development of employees,
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povezati i ohrabriti razvoj zaposlenika,
07:37
a profession that advocates
that the diversity of society
that the diversity of society
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profesija koja se zalaže za vidljivost
različitost društva
različitost društva
07:40
should be reflected in the workplace,
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na radnom mjestu,
07:43
and yet I have done nothing
to advocate for diversity.
to advocate for diversity.
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a ja nisam učinila ništa kako bih se
zalagala za različitost.
zalagala za različitost.
07:48
When I came to this company one year ago,
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Kada sam prošle godine došla u
ovu tvrtku,
ovu tvrtku,
07:51
I thought to myself, this company
has anti-discrimination policies
has anti-discrimination policies
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pomislila sam, ova tvrtka ima
politiku nediskriminacije
politiku nediskriminacije
07:56
that protect gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender people.
bisexual and transgender people.
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koja štiti homoseksualce, lezbijke,
biseksualce i transrodne pojedince.
biseksualce i transrodne pojedince.
08:00
Their commitment to diversity is evident
through their global inclusion programs.
through their global inclusion programs.
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Njihova predanost različitosti vidljiva je
kroz programe globalne inkluzije.
kroz programe globalne inkluzije.
08:06
When I walk through the doors
of this company, I will finally come out.
of this company, I will finally come out.
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Kad uđem kroz vrata ove kompanije,
napokon ću izaći iz ormara.
napokon ću izaći iz ormara.
08:12
But I didn't.
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Ali nisam.
08:14
Instead of taking advantage
of the opportunity,
of the opportunity,
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Umjesto da sam iskoristila priliku,
08:18
I did nothing.
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nisam učinila ništa.
08:31
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
08:39
When I was looking through
my London journal and scrapbook
my London journal and scrapbook
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Dok sam gledala svoj londonski dnevnik i
album iz semestra s
album iz semestra s
08:43
from my London semester
abroad 16 years ago,
abroad 16 years ago,
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razmjene u Londonu prije 16 godina,
08:46
I came across this modified quote
from Toni Morrison's book, "Paradise."
from Toni Morrison's book, "Paradise."
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naišla sam na izmijenjeni citat iz
Morrisonine knjige "Raj".
Morrisonine knjige "Raj".
08:53
"There are more scary things
inside than outside."
inside than outside."
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"Strašnije se stvari skrivaju
unutra nego vani."
unutra nego vani."
08:57
And then I wrote a note
to myself at the bottom:
to myself at the bottom:
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A ispod sam si napisala bilješku:
09:01
"Remember this."
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"Zapamti ovo."
09:03
I'm sure I was trying to encourage myself
to get out and explore London,
to get out and explore London,
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Vjerojatno sam se pokušavala
ohrabriti da izađem i istražim London,
ohrabriti da izađem i istražim London,
09:08
but the message I missed was the need
to start exploring and embracing myself.
to start exploring and embracing myself.
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ali promakla mi je poruka za potrebom
istraživanja i prihvaćanja mene.
istraživanja i prihvaćanja mene.
09:15
What I didn't realize
until all these years later
until all these years later
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Sve donedavno nisam shvaćala
09:19
is that the biggest obstacles
I will ever have to overcome
I will ever have to overcome
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da su najveće prepreke koje
trebam svladati
trebam svladati
09:24
are my own fears and insecurities.
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vlastiti strahovi i nesigurnosti.
09:28
I believe that by facing my fears inside,
I will be able to change reality outside.
I will be able to change reality outside.
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Vjerujem da ću suočavajući se sa strahovima
iznutra moći promijeniti vanjsku stvarnost.
iznutra moći promijeniti vanjsku stvarnost.
09:37
I made a choice today
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Danas sam odlučila
09:39
to reveal a part of myself
that I have hidden for too long.
that I have hidden for too long.
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otkriti dio sebe koji sam toliko
dugo skrivala.
dugo skrivala.
09:46
I hope that this means
I will never hide again,
I will never hide again,
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Nadam se da to znači da se više
nikada neću skrivati i
nikada neću skrivati i
09:50
and I hope that by coming out today,
I can do something to change the data
I can do something to change the data
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nadam se da današnjom deklaracijom
mogu promijeniti statistiku
mogu promijeniti statistiku
09:57
and also to help others who feel different
be more themselves and more fulfilled
be more themselves and more fulfilled
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i pomoći drugima koji se osjećaju drukčije
da budu više svoji i zadovoljniji
da budu više svoji i zadovoljniji
10:03
in both their professional
and personal lives.
and personal lives.
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i u profesionalnim i u privatnim
životima.
životima.
10:08
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
10:11
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professionalA human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are.
Why you should listen
“I am in human resources, a profession that works to welcome, connect and encourage the development of employees,” says Morgana Bailey. At State Street, she directs the Global Human Resources data management team, which maintains data records for the company’s approximately 29,000 employees. Morgana collaborates with people across State Street as corporate policies, regulatory requirements and related employee data requirements continually evolve. Her career experiences have confirmed that the only constant is change, and one’s ability — or inability — to adapt can generate profound long-term outcomes.
At TED@StateStreet, Morgana Bailey revealed a part of herself that she had kept supressed for 16 years. She hopes that her openness will inspire others to stop hiding, and be open about who they are in both their personal and professional lives.
Morgana Bailey | Speaker | TED.com