Adam Galinsky: How to speak up for yourself
아담 갈린스키(Adam Galinsky): 자기주장하는 법
Adam Galinsky teaches people all over the world how to inspire others, speak up effectively, lead teams and negotiate successfully. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
of this phrase exactly one month ago,
딱 한 달 전에 알았습니다.
when we got home from the hospital,
특히 많이 불안했고
enough nutrients from breastfeeding.
얻고 있는지 걱정되었습니다.
to make a bad first impression
첫인상을 남기고 싶지는 않았습니다.
neurotic parent.
the next day,
because he was pretty dehydrated.
바로 분유를 주었습니다.
we can always contact her.
연락해도 괜찮다고 하였습니다.
그러지 못했죠.
when we shouldn't,
않아야 할 때 그러기도 하고
when I let my twin brother down.
실망시키면서 깨달았습니다.
is a documentary filmmaker,
다큐멘터리 영화 제작자였고
from a distribution company.
도와 주었습니다.
about this dilemma of speaking up:
딜레마에 대해 질문했습니다.
are varied and diverse,
a universal tapestry.
when they make a mistake?
who keeps stepping on my toes?
직장 동료에게 대응할까요?
insensitive joke?
저지해도 될까요?
my deepest insecurities?
깊은 비밀을 말해도 될까요?
I've come to recognize
a range of acceptable behavior.
있다는 것을 알았습니다.
we push ourselves too much.
자신을 몰아부치기도 합니다.
his range of acceptable behavior.
바람직한 행동 밖이었습니다.
너무 약하기도 하죠.
we're rewarded.
we get punished in a variety of ways.
다양한 불이익을 받죠.
or even ostracized.
배척당하기도 합니다.
or that promotion or that deal.
거래를 잃기도 하죠.
our range isn't fixed;
based on the context.
that range more than anything else,
더 많이 결정하는 것이 있는데
범위를 결정합니다.
in the form of alternatives.
그쪽에 권력이 있었죠.
to a country, like an immigrant,
새로운 국가에 살거나
and someone's the subordinate.
누군가가 부하 직원인 것입니다.
than the other person.
we have lots of power,
그 범위는 줄어듭니다.
our range narrows,
the low-power double bind.
만들어낸다는 겁니다.
we go unnoticed,
the phrase the "double bind"
and that's gender.
who don't speak up go unnoticed,
the same need as men to speak up,
주장할 욕구가 있지만
over the last two decades
연구가 보여주는 것은
like a gender difference
differences in disguise.
between a man and a woman
There's something fundamentally different
이유가 있을 거야." 라고 생각하지만
for many sex differences
means that we have a narrow range,
to expand our range.
방법을 찾아야 합니다.
two things really matter.
두 가지를 발견했습니다.
in your own eyes.
권력 있어 보이는 것
in the eyes of others.
권력 있어 보이는 것입니다.
our range of acceptable behavior.
확장시킬 도구가 필요합니다.
a set of tools today.
오늘 소개할까 합니다.
your risk of speaking up.
줄여 줄 겁니다.
got discovered in negotiations
협상에 관한 중요한 연구에서
less ambitions offers
협상 테이블에서
at the bargaining table.
and Emily Amanatullah have discovered
에밀리 아마나툴라는
where women get the same outcomes as men
주장하고 이익을 얻는
and expand it in their own mind.
마음 속에서 이를 넓힙니다.
"the mama bear effect."
라고 불립니다.
we can discover our own voice.
자신의 목소리를 발견하기도 하죠.
to advocate for ourselves.
할 때도 있습니다.
we have to advocate for ourselves
중요한 도구 중 하나는
through the eyes of another person.
세상을 보는 것이죠.
we have to expand our range.
가장 중요한 도구의 하나입니다.
원하는가를 생각하면
what I really want.
무언가를 줄 가능성이 높겠죠.
your hand just like this:
a capital letter E on your forehead
draw this E in one of two ways,
as a test of perspective-taking.
고안된 것입니다.
an E to another person.
E처럼 보이게 그렸죠.
from someone else's vantage point.
is the self-focused E.
자기중심적 E입니다.
self-focused in a crisis.
about a particular crisis.
in Watsonville, California.
한 남자가 은행으로 걸어들어옵니다.
up with a bomb."
didn't give him the money.
really important.
is going to be evicted
내 친구가 쫓겨난단 말입니다."
to rob the bank --
fill out the paperwork."
defused a volatile situation.
긴박한 상황을 누그러뜨렸습니다.
and assertive, but still be likable.
호의적인 게 가능하죠.
but still be likable,
and you want to sell someone a car.
차를 판다고 가정하죠.
if you give them two options.
차가 더 잘 팔립니다.
and a five-year warranty.
3년 보증이라고 하죠.
people a choice among options,
to accept your offer.
높아짐을 보여 줍니다.
work with salespeople;
and rejected everything.
모든 걸 거부했습니다.
had a brilliant idea.
아이디어가 떠올랐죠.
and without resistance.
around the world
in my audience; when I have allies."
동맹이 있을 때요."입니다.
and the eyes of others,
범위를 확장하기도 하지만
especially in high places,
강한 동맹을 얻는 방법은
they like us because we flatter them,
겸손하게 그들을 추켜세워
another double bind.
도움이 되기도 합니다.
our accomplishments,
좋아하지 않는다는 것이죠.
about one of our accomplishments,
조언을 요청하면
in their eyes but also be likeable.
호의적으로도 보이는 거죠.
when I have been forewarned
저한테 물어보라는 말을 들었다고
the advice to come ask me for advice.
삶에서 여러 번 있었습니다.
three things about this:
to come ask me for advice.
조언을 구할 것임을 알았고
on the strategic benefits
전략적 이익에 해한
because they asked for advice.
더 헌신적으로 변했습니다.
more confident speaking up
주장할 수 있는 또 다른 때는
we already have credibility.
신뢰성은 갖췄습니다.
we don't have the credibility.
we can come across as an expert
to go up to friend of theirs
a passion of yours to me."
한번 소개해 봐."
about the other person
hands were coming at me."
with a little higher pitch."
as if telling me a secret."
앞으로 몸을 기울였어요."
as you listened to their passion?"
in our own eyes, to speak up,
용기를 얻기도 하지만
from others to speak up.
허락을 받게 되기도 합니다.
when we come across as too weak.
우리가 약할 때도 효과가 있죠.
at work when they shed tears.
눈물을 흘리면 비난을 받습니다.
we frame our strong emotions as passion,
강한 감정을 열정으로 인식할 때
disappears for both men and women.
사라짐을 발견했습니다.
from my late father
형의 결혼식에서 하신
brother's wedding.
passion was cinema,
제 형처럼 영화였습니다.
for my brother's wedding
우리가 하는 역할을 담은
in the human comedy.
and enriching your performance.
풍부하게 하는 데 도움이 된다.
and work to improve their performance
역량을 향상시키려 힘쓰고
ranges and roles in this world.
역할의 범위를 가진다는 것입니다.
the essence of this talk:
핵심을 나타내기도 합니다.
expanding and evolving.
확장하고 변모하고 있습니다.
can use these tools --
of acceptable behavior,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Adam Galinsky - Social psychologistAdam Galinsky teaches people all over the world how to inspire others, speak up effectively, lead teams and negotiate successfully.
Why you should listen
Adam Galinsky is currently the chair of the management division at Columbia Business School. He co-authored the critically acclaimed and best-selling book, Friend & Foe, which distills his two decades of research on leadership, negotiations, diversity, decision-making and ethics. The New York Times says the book performed "a significant public service" and the Financial Times declared that Friend & Foe "fulfills its promise of handing the reader tools to be a better friend and a more formidable foe."
Galinsky has received numerous national and international awards for his teaching and research. He is only the second psychologist to ever to receive the two most important mid-career Awards in Social Psychology. In 2015, he was named one of the top 50 Thinkers on Talent by Thinkers50. In recognition of the quality of his teaching and research, he was selected as one of the World's 50 Best B-School Professors by Poets and Quants (2012).
Galinsky has consulted with and conducted executive workshops for clients across the globe, including Fortune 100 firms, non-profits and local and national governments. He has served as a legal expert in multiple defamation lawsuits, including a trial where he was the sole expert witness for a plaintiff awarded $37 million in damages.
Outside of his professional life, Galinsky is the associate producer on four award-winning documentaries, including Horns and Halos and Battle for Brooklyn, which were both short-listed for Best Documentary at the Academy Awards.
Adam Galinsky | Speaker | TED.com