Adam Galinsky: How to speak up for yourself
Адам Галински: Како да зборувате во свое име
Adam Galinsky teaches people all over the world how to inspire others, speak up effectively, lead teams and negotiate successfully. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
of this phrase exactly one month ago,
ја сфатив пред еден месец,
when we got home from the hospital,
се вративме од болница дома
enough nutrients from breastfeeding.
доволно мајчино млеко.
to make a bad first impression
да оставиме лош впечаток
neurotic parent.
the next day,
because he was pretty dehydrated.
зашто беше дехидрирано.
we can always contact her.
кога има потреба.
но не реков ништо.
when we shouldn't,
when I let my twin brother down.
кога го извисив брат ми близнак.
is a documentary filmmaker,
документарни филмови,
from a distribution company.
дистрибутерска компанија.
about this dilemma of speaking up:
за дилемата околку зборувањето,
are varied and diverse,
a universal tapestry.
when they make a mistake?
who keeps stepping on my toes?
insensitive joke?
досетки на пријателите?
my deepest insecurities?
која ја сакам за своите стравови?
I've come to recognize
a range of acceptable behavior.
домен на прифатено однесување.
we push ourselves too much.
се напнуваме премногу.
his range of acceptable behavior.
од доменот на прифатено однесување.
we're rewarded.
наградени сме.
we get punished in a variety of ways.
тогаш сме казнувани.
понижени или осудувани.
or even ostracized.
or that promotion or that deal.
our range isn't fixed;
based on the context.
зависност од содржината.
that range more than anything else,
одредува доменот пред сѐ,
in the form of alternatives.
to a country, like an immigrant,
како имигрант
and someone's the subordinate.
than the other person.
we have lots of power,
our range narrows,
the low-power double bind.
we go unnoticed,
никој не нѐ забележува,
the phrase the "double bind"
and that's gender.
who don't speak up go unnoticed,
кои не зборуваат не се забележани,
the same need as men to speak up,
исти потреби за зборување како и мажите,
over the last two decades
овие 2 децении покажаа
like a gender difference
differences in disguise.
between a man and a woman
There's something fundamentally different
Тоа е нешто фундаментално различно
for many sex differences
за половите разлики
means that we have a narrow range,
покажува дека имаме мал домен,
to expand our range.
да го прошириме доменот.
two things really matter.
две нешта кои се значајни:
in your own eyes.
in the eyes of others.
во очите на другите.
our range of acceptable behavior.
доменот на прифатено однесување.
a set of tools today.
your risk of speaking up.
got discovered in negotiations
less ambitions offers
амбициозни понуди
at the bargaining table.
од мажите кога преговараат.
and Emily Amanatullah have discovered
и Емили Аманатула открија
where women get the same outcomes as men
добиваат исто колку мажите
and expand it in their own mind.
домен и го шират во нивната свест
"the mama bear effect."
„ефект на мајката мечка“
we can discover our own voice.
го откриваме сопствениот глас.
to advocate for ourselves.
we have to advocate for ourselves
кога се залагаме за себе е
through the eyes of another person.
низ очите на другите.
we have to expand our range.
која го прошируваме доменот.
what I really want.
тоа што јас сакам.
your hand just like this:
a capital letter E on your forehead
draw this E in one of two ways,
да го направиме тоа на 2 начини.
as a test of perspective-taking.
тест за заземање перспективи.
an E to another person.
from someone else's vantage point.
нечија друга перспектива.
is the self-focused E.
фокусирана кон себе.
self-focused in a crisis.
во време на кризи.
about a particular crisis.
in Watsonville, California.
Калифорнија.
up with a bomb."
didn't give him the money.
really important.
is going to be evicted
to rob the bank --
fill out the paperwork."
defused a volatile situation.
јa смири напнатата ситуација.
and assertive, but still be likable.
убедливи, но сепак допадливи.
but still be likable,
и допадлив истовремено-
and you want to sell someone a car.
и сакате некому да продадете возило.
if you give them two options.
ако понудите две опции.
and a five-year warranty.
и 5 години гаранција.
и 3 години гаранција.
people a choice among options,
кога давате избор меѓу опциите,
to accept your offer.
понудата.
work with salespeople;
and rejected everything.
had a brilliant idea.
and without resistance.
around the world
in my audience; when I have allies."
публиката, кога имам сојузници.“
and the eyes of others,
и очите на другите,
especially in high places,
особено на високи места
they like us because we flatter them,
зашто им се доворуваме,
another double bind.
друг вид на двојна обврзаност,
за само-промовирање.
our accomplishments,
со нашите достигнувања,
не им се допаѓаме на другите.
about one of our accomplishments,
од нашите достигнувања,
in their eyes but also be likeable.
и ќе им се допаднеме.
when I have been forewarned
кога сум бил предупредуван
the advice to come ask me for advice.
да ме праша за совет.
three things about this:
три работи во однс на ова:
to come ask me for advice.
on the strategic benefits
на стратешки придобивки
because they asked for advice.
бидејќи им требаше совет.
more confident speaking up
дека треба да зборуваме
we already have credibility.
we don't have the credibility.
we can come across as an expert
to go up to friend of theirs
одете до некој пријател,
a passion of yours to me."
about the other person
hands were coming at me."
рацете им беа насекаде.“
with a little higher pitch."
as if telling me a secret."
as you listened to their passion?"
за нивните страсти?“
in our own eyes, to speak up,
да прозбориме
from others to speak up.
од другите да прозбориме.
when we come across as too weak.
успева и кога сме слаби.
at work when they shed tears.
на работно место.
we frame our strong emotions as passion,
прикажуваме силните емоции како страст,
disappears for both men and women.
и за мажите и за жените.
from my late father
збора на мојот покоен татко
brother's wedding.
passion was cinema,
и стаст беше филмот,
for my brother's wedding
свадбата на брат ми
in the human comedy.
во човечката комедија.
and enriching your performance.
на претставата.
and work to improve their performance
и се трудат да се подобрат,
и го прошируваат своето битие.
ranges and roles in this world.
и домени во овој живот.
the essence of this talk:
на неговиот говор:
expanding and evolving.
се прошируваат и еволуираат.
can use these tools --
of acceptable behavior,
на прифатено однесување
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Adam Galinsky - Social psychologistAdam Galinsky teaches people all over the world how to inspire others, speak up effectively, lead teams and negotiate successfully.
Why you should listen
Adam Galinsky is currently the chair of the management division at Columbia Business School. He co-authored the critically acclaimed and best-selling book, Friend & Foe, which distills his two decades of research on leadership, negotiations, diversity, decision-making and ethics. The New York Times says the book performed "a significant public service" and the Financial Times declared that Friend & Foe "fulfills its promise of handing the reader tools to be a better friend and a more formidable foe."
Galinsky has received numerous national and international awards for his teaching and research. He is only the second psychologist to ever to receive the two most important mid-career Awards in Social Psychology. In 2015, he was named one of the top 50 Thinkers on Talent by Thinkers50. In recognition of the quality of his teaching and research, he was selected as one of the World's 50 Best B-School Professors by Poets and Quants (2012).
Galinsky has consulted with and conducted executive workshops for clients across the globe, including Fortune 100 firms, non-profits and local and national governments. He has served as a legal expert in multiple defamation lawsuits, including a trial where he was the sole expert witness for a plaintiff awarded $37 million in damages.
Outside of his professional life, Galinsky is the associate producer on four award-winning documentaries, including Horns and Halos and Battle for Brooklyn, which were both short-listed for Best Documentary at the Academy Awards.
Adam Galinsky | Speaker | TED.com