Khadija Gbla: My mother’s strange definition of empowerment
خديجة غبلا: تعريف أمي الغريب لتمكين المرأة
Khadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions. Full bio
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my personal journey
تعقدوا أرجلكم
the things your body does.
on me, by the way.
well, that's in Sierra Leone as well.
فهي هناك أيضا
I was checked before I got here.
لقد تم فحصي من قبل.
needs more than one wife.
that's what I say.
أقوله.
in Sierra Leone in 1991.
في سيراليون عام 1991
one night, everything was good.
to kill me and my family.
in Gambia, in West Africa.
was going to become of us.
a little holiday, a little trip."
and ended up in a bush
أدراجها.
away from us into a second hut.
الأخر.
I don't know what's going on."
to get her off me, but I couldn't.
with a rusty-looking knife,
water or sunlight before.
الشمس من قبل
to be my clitoris,
and started cutting away, inch by inch.
تقطع رويدا رويدا
so this pain will stop,
هذا الألم،
ظننت أنه للأبد.
for what felt like forever,
across the floor
she's ever touched.
and left me there bleeding,
as to what just happened.
that we were coming to Australia,
the Sydney Olympics at the time,
سيدني
to the end of the world,
to go after Australia.
and then Singapore.
سنغافورة.
opening the tap like this.
in Adelaide, that's what I would say.
أستطيع قوله.
You must take us back to Australia."
لا بد أن تعيدنا الى استراليا"
there were a lot of Asians in Australia
كبير من الأسيويين في أستراليا
because they were less racist.
البنات لأنهن أقل عنصرية.
that publication. (Laughter)
and I was the only black child there.
السوداء بينهم.
with a bit of a color on me.
to be under the sun.
أن يكون تحت أشعة الشمس.
though. Not the same.
volunteering for an organization
female genital mutilation program
الختان
this program was actually about,
nurses and doctors
and now, Australia and London and America,
الأن في أستراليا و لندن و أميركا
we live in a multicultural society,
متعدد الثقافات
come with their culture,
يأتون محملين بثقافاتهم
that we may not agree with,
نتفق معهم فيها
of female genital mutilation,
they cut off the whole clitoris
بالكامل
or your outer lips,
أو الشفتين،
cut off the whole clitoris
البظرين بالكامل
to pee and have your period.
I pretty much had amnesia.
and traumatized by what had happened,
happened to me,
of what had happened.
عن ما حدث.
had a scar down there.
it all came back to me.
holding me down.
what was done to me was a terrible thing
فظيعا
it was called circumcision,
I'm a mutilated person.
(Laughter)
(ضحك)
pointing at your mother,
الاشارة باصبعك تجاه أمك
talking about, Khadija?"
"خديجة، عن ماذا تتحدثين؟"
You circumcised me.
that belonged to me."
and I did it to you.
بدوري أفعل ذلك لك.
get itchy down there?"
if you were not circumcised,
get itchy all the time.
طيلة الوقت
to sleep around with anybody."
was very strange. (Laughter)
of our first conversation.
Dolly and Girlfriend magazines.
Anybody remember those sealed sections?
من يتذكر تلك الأجزاء؟
(Laughter)
an article about pleasure
عن المتعة
that you had a clitoris, though,
لديك بظر، رغم ذلك،
would moan like, "Oh! Oh!"
النسوة، "أه! أه!"
and their damned clitoris.
اللعينة.
supposed to do with her life?
تفعل في حياتها؟
"Oh! Oh!" and all of that.
and said to my mom,
I deserve pleasure,
how to find the clitoris."
يعثرون على البظر."
have a problem finding the clitoris.
التعرف على البظرين.
It was Dolly that said that.
I had an inner joke in my head
(Laughter)
I deserve pleasure, and do you know
فهل تعلمين
what you have denied me?
in the most sacred way.
"Who is Dolly and Girlfriend?
That's a magazine, mom, a magazine."
not having a clitoris was the norm.
كان عدم وجود البظر هو القاعدة.
that was very clitoris-centric.
this strange phase of anger
الغريبة من الغضب
an appointment with my therapist.
who has a therapist. There you go.
أنتم ذا
and discrimination,
والتمييز،
و هذا ما كانت عليه".
and then there it was."
I'm not a woman
بامرأة
the sexuality of women.
مقدرة المرأة الجنسية.
any sexual desire.
not feeling like having sex,
من غير الاحساس بمتعة الجنس،
around the age of 14,
الرابعة عشرة،
normal periods because of FGM.
بسبب الختان
and they were very painful.
طويلة و مؤلمة جدا.
sitting there.
have children, Khadija."
an angry black woman.
no matter what your may defense may be" --
سيكون دفاعك"
is harming me, and it's hurting me.
as a mother."
for an apology, by the way.
تحافظ على العطاء.
"You can't have kids."
Is this what life is all about?"
هي الحياة؟"
who have gone through FGM
بتجربة الختان
incontinence, constant infections, pain.
التهابات مستمرة وألم.
because I was born a girl
all that pain, into advocacy
to be worth something.
called No FGM Australia.
للختان في أستراليا.
Child Protective Services,
حماية الطفل
is planning on performing FGM on her.
سنين فقط.
I'll let that sink in: four years old.
who is married to a Malaysian man.
متزوجة من رجل ماليزي.
he was going to take their daughters
to cut off their clitoris.
He said they were dirty.
where she said to him,
will you do that to my daughters."
wasn't aware of what FGM was,
بمخاطر الختان
flown over to Malaysia
changed for the rest of their lives.
with an issue like that?
performed on them.
It's not a Middle Eastern problem.
it has no color, it's everybody's problem.
هي مشكلة الجميع
a right to sexual pleasure.
بالمتعة الجنسية
a right to our bodies.
الحق في أجسامنا.
and you know what? Bullshit.
I'm doing my part in ending FGM.
لمحاربة الختان.
who is at risk of FGM.
لخطر الختان.
who comes to your hospital
because of a culture.
a defense for child abuse.
لانتهاك الطفولة،
to see FGM as an issue for you.
كقضية تخصكم
your sister, your cousin.
and it'll come up, and sign it.
النور ستوقع.
for FGM victims in Australia
في أستراليا
growing up here
has a right to pleasure.
to their bodies being left intact,
has a right to a clitoris.
and women to do nothing."
والنساء الجيدين شيئا ".
of female genital mutilation
that it ends in my generation.
انهاءه في جيلنا
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Khadija Gbla - Cross-cultural consultantKhadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions.
Why you should listen
Khadija Gbla was just 3-years-old when the war broke out in her country, Sierra Leone. While her family initially escaped to Gambia, 10 years later they attained refugee status and resettled in Adelaide, Australia. The transition was complex—Khadija experienced racism, illness and depression—but threw herself into her education. She discovered that she had a unique talent: the ability to translate across two very different cultures.
Khadija first used this talent as a peer educator for South Australia’s Women’s Heath Statewide program, where she talked to health professionals about female genital mutilation — helping them understand what it is, where it happens, and the cultural beliefs that surround it. She’s since used her multicultural voice to offer advice on policy through South Australian Government Minister’s Youth Council, to organize camps and activities for newly-arrived refugees and to raise awareness about both sexual and mental health issues among her peers. She has represented Australia in the international arena at the Harvard National Model United Nations, Commonwealth Youth Forum and Australian and Africa Dialogue, and speaks regularly at a wide variety of events to make sure that her perspective is heard.
Khadija Gbla | Speaker | TED.com