Khadija Gbla: My mother’s strange definition of empowerment
Khadja Gbla: Annemin tuhaf özgürleştirme tanımı
Khadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions. Full bio
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my personal journey
bacak bacak üstüne atmakta
onu yapmakta serbestsiniz.
the things your body does.
on me, by the way.
well, that's in Sierra Leone as well.
Leone'da var.
I was checked before I got here.
kontrolden geçtim.
needs more than one wife.
ihtiyacı olduğunu bana sormayın.
that's what I say.
in Sierra Leone in 1991.
Sierra Leone'da savaş çıktı.
one night, everything was good.
gittik ve herşey yolundaydı.
to kill me and my family.
çalışıyordu.
in Gambia, in West Africa.
Gambiya'ya gittik.
was going to become of us.
a little holiday, a little trip."
and ended up in a bush
ıssız bir köşesinde
away from us into a second hut.
doğru yürüdü.
I don't know what's going on."
diye düşündüm.
to get her off me, but I couldn't.
yapamadım.
with a rusty-looking knife,
bana doğru geldi.
water or sunlight before.
güneş yüzü görmemiş gibiydi.
to be my clitoris,
bildiğim yeri tuttu
and started cutting away, inch by inch.
başladı.
so this pain will stop,
ve bu acının bitmesini istedim
süre boyunca etimi doğradı
for what felt like forever,
across the floor
she's ever touched.
and left me there bleeding,
kanayarak,
as to what just happened.
anlamaya çalışır halde bıraktılar.
that we were coming to Australia,
gideceğimizi öğrendik.
the Sydney Olympics at the time,
to the end of the world,
yok diyorlardı.
to go after Australia.
and then Singapore.
ardından Singapur'a gittik.
opening the tap like this.
böyle açmaya çalıştık.
ve su akmaya başladı.
düşünmeye başladık.
in Adelaide, that's what I would say.
Böyle demek daha doğru.
Küçük bir yer.
You must take us back to Australia."
Bizi Avustralya'ya götürün."
there were a lot of Asians in Australia
ve doğru yerde
because they were less racist.
çünkü onlar daha az ırkçıydılar.
that publication. (Laughter)
okudu bilmiyorum. (Gülüşmeler)
bulamadım.
and I was the only black child there.
aralarındaki tek siyahtım.
with a bit of a color on me.
to be under the sun.
gereği duymuş kızlar.
though. Not the same.
değildi ama. Değildi.
volunteering for an organization
kuruluşta
female genital mutilation program
katıldım.
this program was actually about,
nurses and doctors
sünneti
and now, Australia and London and America,
Avustralya, Londra ve Amerika.
we live in a multicultural society,
toplumda yaşıyoruz.
come with their culture,
kültürleriyle geliyorlar.
that we may not agree with,
alışkanlıkları olabiliyor.
of female genital mutilation,
they cut off the whole clitoris
or your outer lips,
cut off the whole clitoris
to pee and have your period.
için küçük bir delik kalıyor.
I pretty much had amnesia.
and traumatized by what had happened,
ve travmaya sokmuştu ki
happened to me,
farkındaydım
of what had happened.
had a scar down there.
it all came back to me.
holding me down.
tutmalarını hatırladım.
what was done to me was a terrible thing
olduğunu fark etmiştim.
it was called circumcision,
I'm a mutilated person.
"Ben sakat bir insanım."
(Laughter)
pointing at your mother,
bir hareket değil
talking about, Khadija?"
You circumcised me.
that belonged to me."
and I did it to you.
ben de sana yaptım.
get itchy down there?"
if you were not circumcised,
get itchy all the time.
kaşınıyor.
to sleep around with anybody."
was very strange. (Laughter)
tuhaftı. (Gülüşmeler)
of our first conversation.
Dolly and Girlfriend magazines.
okunduğu zamanlardı.
Anybody remember those sealed sections?
bölümleri hatırlayan var mı?
(Laughter)
an article about pleasure
that you had a clitoris, though,
would moan like, "Oh! Oh!"
"Oo! Oo!" diye inlerdi.
and their damned clitoris.
supposed to do with her life?
"Oh! Oh!" and all of that.
and said to my mom,
anneme dedim ki
I deserve pleasure,
söylüyor.
how to find the clitoris."
öğrenmeliymiş."
have a problem finding the clitoris.
bulmakla ilgili bir sorunu var.
It was Dolly that said that.
I had an inner joke in my head
(Laughter)
(Gülüşmeler)
I deserve pleasure, and do you know
söyledi ve sen benden
what you have denied me?
Neyi benim yerime reddettiğini?
in the most sacred way.
engelledin.
"Who is Dolly and Girlfriend?
That's a magazine, mom, a magazine."
not having a clitoris was the norm.
normaldi.
that was very clitoris-centric.
yaşıyordum.
this strange phase of anger
an appointment with my therapist.
hatırlıyorum.
who has a therapist. There you go.
and discrimination,
and then there it was."
ve bir de bu vardı."
I'm not a woman
amacı
the sexuality of women.
any sexual desire.
not feeling like having sex,
seksten zevk
around the age of 14,
normal periods because of FGM.
fark ettim.
and they were very painful.
çok uzun ve fazlasıyla acılıydı.
sitting there.
have children, Khadija."
sanmıyoruz Khadija."
an angry black woman.
dönüştüm.
no matter what your may defense may be" --
olursa olsun..."
is harming me, and it's hurting me.
veriyor, canımı yakıyor.
onu yaptım."
as a mother."
for an apology, by the way.
çıkarıyor.
"You can't have kids."
demişlerdi.
Is this what life is all about?"
olacak?" diye düşündüm.
who have gone through FGM
incontinence, constant infections, pain.
ve acı içinde olan bir kız tanıyorum.
bitmiyor.
because I was born a girl
all that pain, into advocacy
yönlendirdim.
to be worth something.
gerekiyordu.
called No FGM Australia.
kuruluşunun yöneticisiyim.
Child Protective Services,
zorunda kaldım.
is planning on performing FGM on her.
I'll let that sink in: four years old.
Bir daha söyleyeyim; 4 yaşında.
who is married to a Malaysian man.
bir kadınla tanıştım.
he was going to take their daughters
Malezya'ya klitorislerini kesmeye
to cut off their clitoris.
He said they were dirty.
kirlenmiş olduğunu söylemiş.
where she said to him,
will you do that to my daughters."
kızlarıma yaparsın." demiş.
wasn't aware of what FGM was,
ne olduğunu bilmeseydi
olsalardı?
flown over to Malaysia
changed for the rest of their lives.
olarak dönerlerdi.
with an issue like that?
musunuz?
performed on them.
It's not a Middle Eastern problem.
Orta Doğu problemi değil.
it has no color, it's everybody's problem.
Bir rengi yok. Herkesin sorunu.
a right to sexual pleasure.
a right to our bodies.
hakkımız yok demektir.
and you know what? Bullshit.
musunuz? Zırvalık.
I'm doing my part in ending FGM.
yaptığımı söylemekle gurur duyuyorum.
who is at risk of FGM.
olabilir.
who comes to your hospital
because of a culture.
a defense for child abuse.
olmamalı.
to see FGM as an issue for you.
görmenizi istiyorum.
your sister, your cousin.
kuzeninize.
destek verin.
and it'll come up, and sign it.
imzalayın.
for FGM victims in Australia
destek bulmak
growing up here
kurtarmak.
has a right to pleasure.
to their bodies being left intact,
tutulmasına hakkı vardır
has a right to a clitoris.
sahip olmaya hakkı vardır.
and women to do nothing."
yapmaması yeterlidir."
of female genital mutilation
Avustralya'da
misiniz?
that it ends in my generation.
bitmesini sağlamada bana katılın.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Khadija Gbla - Cross-cultural consultantKhadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions.
Why you should listen
Khadija Gbla was just 3-years-old when the war broke out in her country, Sierra Leone. While her family initially escaped to Gambia, 10 years later they attained refugee status and resettled in Adelaide, Australia. The transition was complex—Khadija experienced racism, illness and depression—but threw herself into her education. She discovered that she had a unique talent: the ability to translate across two very different cultures.
Khadija first used this talent as a peer educator for South Australia’s Women’s Heath Statewide program, where she talked to health professionals about female genital mutilation — helping them understand what it is, where it happens, and the cultural beliefs that surround it. She’s since used her multicultural voice to offer advice on policy through South Australian Government Minister’s Youth Council, to organize camps and activities for newly-arrived refugees and to raise awareness about both sexual and mental health issues among her peers. She has represented Australia in the international arena at the Harvard National Model United Nations, Commonwealth Youth Forum and Australian and Africa Dialogue, and speaks regularly at a wide variety of events to make sure that her perspective is heard.
Khadija Gbla | Speaker | TED.com