Khadija Gbla: My mother’s strange definition of empowerment
Khadija Gbla: Mi madre y su extraña definición de empoderamiento
Khadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
my personal journey
mi recorrido personal
cruzar las piernas
con su cuerpo.
the things your body does.
lo que han de hacer.
on me, by the way.
well, that's in Sierra Leone as well.
también es en Sierra Leona.
I was checked before I got here.
Me revisaron antes de venir.
necesita más de una.
needs more than one wife.
that's what I say.
eso es lo que pienso.
in Sierra Leone in 1991.
estalló la guerra en Sierra Leona.
one night, everything was good.
me fui a dormir y estaba todo bien.
to kill me and my family.
a mí y a mi familia.
in Gambia, in West Africa.
en Gambia, en África Occidental.
was going to become of us.
a little holiday, a little trip."
un viajecito".
and ended up in a bush
y terminamos en el monte
y regresó a donde estaba.
away from us into a second hut.
alejándose de nosotros.
I don't know what's going on."
no sé qué está pasando".
to get her off me, but I couldn't.
pero no pude.
with a rusty-looking knife,
con un cuchillo que se veía oxidado,
water or sunlight before.
agua ni luz del sol.
to be my clitoris,
and started cutting away, inch by inch.
y empezó a cortar, poco a poco.
so this pain will stop,
para que terminara el dolor,
"Cállate".
for what felt like forever,
por lo que pareciía una eternidad,
across the floor
she's ever touched.
que hubiera tocado en su vida.
and left me there bleeding,
y me dejaron ahí sangrando,
as to what just happened.
por lo que acababa de pasar.
that we were coming to Australia,
the Sydney Olympics at the time,
los Juegos Olímpicos de Sidney
to the end of the world,
que nos íbamos al fin del mundo,
to go after Australia.
más allá de Australia.
and then Singapore.
y de ahí a Singapur.
opening the tap like this.
de abrir la llave así.
in Adelaide, that's what I would say.
nos arrojaron en Adelaida.
"Acá estamos, en casa".
entrando en pánico:
You must take us back to Australia."
Debe llevarnos de regreso a Australia".
there were a lot of Asians in Australia
que hay muchos asiáticos en Australia,
because they were less racist.
de mujeres porque eran menos racistas.
that publication. (Laughter)
(Risas)
hasta el día de hoy.
and I was the only black child there.
with a bit of a color on me.
con algo de piel oscura.
to be under the sun.
de asolearse.
though. Not the same.
Ni parecido.
fue bastante difícil,
volunteering for an organization
de voluntaria en una organización
female genital mutilation program
de mutilación genital femenina
this program was actually about,
realmente este programa
tenía algo que ver conmigo.
nurses and doctors
a enfermeras y médicos
and now, Australia and London and America,
y ahora en Australia, Londres, EE.UU.,
we live in a multicultural society,
vivimos en una sociedad multicultural,
come with their culture,
traen con ellos su cultura,
that we may not agree with,
con las que podemos no estar de acuerdo,
of female genital mutilation,
de mutilación genital femenina,
they cut off the whole clitoris
amputan todo el clítoris
or your outer lips,
cut off the whole clitoris
todo el clítoris
to pee and have your period.
para orinar y menstruar.
I pretty much had amnesia.
tenía como una amnesia.
and traumatized by what had happened,
por lo que había pasado
happened to me,
of what had happened.
had a scar down there.
it all came back to me.
todo me volvió.
holding me down.
el dolor que sentí,
what was done to me was a terrible thing
me habían hecho algo terrible,
it was called circumcision,
que se llamaba circuncisión,
I'm a mutilated person.
Soy una persona mutilada.
(Laughter)
pointing at your mother,
no es algo muy africano,
para las consecuencias.
talking about, Khadija?"
estás hablando, Khadija?
You circumcised me.
tú me circuncidaste.
that belonged to me."
and I did it to you.
y yo te lo hice a ti.
get itchy down there?"
de picarme ahí abajo?"
if you were not circumcised,
si no te hubieran circuncidado,
get itchy all the time.
les pica todo el tiempo.
acostándose con cualquiera.
to sleep around with anybody."
con nadie."
was very strange. (Laughter)
(Risas)
of our first conversation.
Dolly and Girlfriend magazines.
Dolly y Girlfriend.
Anybody remember those sealed sections?
¿Alguien las recuerda?
(Laughter)
(Risas)
an article about pleasure
un artículo dedicado al placer,
that you had a clitoris, though,
que uno tenía clítoris
would moan like, "Oh! Oh!"
gimiendo: "¡Oh! ¡Oh!"
and their damned clitoris.
y sus condenados clítoris.
supposed to do with her life?
una mujer sin clítoris?
"Oh! Oh!" and all of that.
"¡Oh! ¡Oh!", todo completo.
and said to my mom,
y le fije a mi mamá:
I deserve pleasure,
que merezco sentir placer,
how to find the clitoris."
darse cuenta de cómo hallar el clítoris".
have a problem finding the clitoris.
les cuesta encontrar el clítoris.
It was Dolly that said that.
era Dolly la que lo decía.
I had an inner joke in my head
en mi cabeza:
(Laughter)
(Risas)
I deserve pleasure, and do you know
que merezco sentir placer.
what you have denied me?
de lo que me negaste?
in the most sacred way.
"Who is Dolly and Girlfriend?
"¿Quiénes son Dolly y Girlfriend?
That's a magazine, mom, a magazine."
Son revistas, mami, revistas".
not having a clitoris was the norm.
la norma era no tener clítoris.
that was very clitoris-centric.
un valor central al clítoris.
this strange phase of anger
de enojo,
an appointment with my therapist.
con mi terapeuta.
who has a therapist. There you go.
Ahí tienen.
and discrimination,
y la discriminación.
and then there it was."
y ahí estaba yo."
I'm not a woman
the sexuality of women.
la sexualidad de las mujeres.
any sexual desire.
deseo sexual.
not feeling like having sex,
sin sentir ganas de tener sexo,
around the age of 14,
a eso de los 14,
normal periods because of FGM.
a causa de la MGF.
and they were very painful.
sitting there.
que aparecen ahí.
have children, Khadija."
Khadija".
an angry black woman.
no matter what your may defense may be" --
no importa cómo los defiendas
is harming me, and it's hurting me.
me está lastimando.
as a mother."
debía hacer".
for an apology, by the way.
que siempre reaparece.
"You can't have kids."
"No puedes tener hijos".
Is this what life is all about?"
¿La vida es solo eso?"
who have gone through FGM
que han sufrido MGF
incontinence, constant infections, pain.
con incontinencia,
Nunca deja de aparecer.
because I was born a girl
all that pain, into advocacy
todo ese dolor, en defensa
to be worth something.
sirviera para algo.
called No FGM Australia.
que se llama "No MGF Australia".
Child Protective Services,
al Servicio de Protección Infantil
is planning on performing FGM on her.
pensaba practicarle MGF.
I'll let that sink in: four years old.
Sí, créanlo: 4 años.
who is married to a Malaysian man.
casada con un malasio.
he was going to take their daughters
que iba a llevar a sus hijas
to cut off their clitoris.
He said they were dirty.
Él dijo que era sucio.
where she said to him,
en la que ella le dijo:
will you do that to my daughters."
le harás eso a mis hijas".
wasn't aware of what FGM was,
si ella no supiera lo que es la MGF,
flown over to Malaysia
a sus hijas a Malasia
changed for the rest of their lives.
para el resto de sus vidas.
with an issue like that?
performed on them.
It's not a Middle Eastern problem.
No es un problema del Oriente Medio.
it has no color, it's everybody's problem.
no tiene color; es un problema de todos.
a right to sexual pleasure.
no tienen derecho al placer sexual.
a right to our bodies.
sobre nuestros cuerpos.
and you know what? Bullshit.
¿Y saben qué? Es basura.
I'm doing my part in ending FGM.
mi parte para terminar con la MGF.
who is at risk of FGM.
en riesgo de MGF.
who comes to your hospital
because of a culture.
por razones culturales.
a defense for child abuse.
para defender el abuso infantil.
to see FGM as an issue for you.
vea la MGF como un problema propio.
your sister, your cousin.
and it'll come up, and sign it.
Fírmenla.
for FGM victims in Australia
a las víctimas de MGF de Australia
growing up here
que viven aquí
has a right to pleasure.
tiene derecho al placer.
to their bodies being left intact,
de que le dejen su cuerpo intacto
has a right to a clitoris.
tiene derecho a su clítoris.
a terminar con esto.
para que triunfe el mal
and women to do nothing."
y mujeres no hagan nada".
of female genital mutilation
de la mutilación genital femenina
that it ends in my generation.
que esto se termine en esta generación.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Khadija Gbla - Cross-cultural consultantKhadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions.
Why you should listen
Khadija Gbla was just 3-years-old when the war broke out in her country, Sierra Leone. While her family initially escaped to Gambia, 10 years later they attained refugee status and resettled in Adelaide, Australia. The transition was complex—Khadija experienced racism, illness and depression—but threw herself into her education. She discovered that she had a unique talent: the ability to translate across two very different cultures.
Khadija first used this talent as a peer educator for South Australia’s Women’s Heath Statewide program, where she talked to health professionals about female genital mutilation — helping them understand what it is, where it happens, and the cultural beliefs that surround it. She’s since used her multicultural voice to offer advice on policy through South Australian Government Minister’s Youth Council, to organize camps and activities for newly-arrived refugees and to raise awareness about both sexual and mental health issues among her peers. She has represented Australia in the international arena at the Harvard National Model United Nations, Commonwealth Youth Forum and Australian and Africa Dialogue, and speaks regularly at a wide variety of events to make sure that her perspective is heard.
Khadija Gbla | Speaker | TED.com