ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Khadija Gbla - Cross-cultural consultant
Khadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions.

Why you should listen

Khadija Gbla was just 3-years-old when the war broke out in her country, Sierra Leone. While her family initially escaped to Gambia, 10 years later they attained refugee status and resettled in Adelaide, Australia. The transition was complex—Khadija experienced racism, illness and depression—but threw herself into her education. She discovered that she had a unique talent: the ability to translate across two very different cultures.

Khadija first used this talent as a peer educator for South Australia’s Women’s Heath Statewide program, where she talked to health professionals about female genital mutilation — helping them understand what it is, where it happens, and the cultural beliefs that surround it. She’s since used her multicultural voice to offer advice on policy through South Australian Government Minister’s Youth Council, to organize camps and activities for newly-arrived refugees and to raise awareness about both sexual and mental health issues among her peers. She has represented Australia in the international arena at the Harvard National Model United Nations, Commonwealth Youth Forum and Australian and Africa Dialogue, and speaks regularly at a wide variety of events to make sure that her perspective is heard.

More profile about the speaker
Khadija Gbla | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxCanberra

Khadija Gbla: My mother’s strange definition of empowerment

卡蒂嘉·格布拉: 我母亲对女性自主的奇怪理解

Filmed:
1,290,760 views

在 Khadija Gbla 的成长过程中,对于「女性自主」这个问题,有两种不同的声音。她的塞拉利昂的母亲认为割除她的阴蒂——以此遏制性欲——才是实现神佑的终极方法;而在澳大利亚的成长经历,让她意识到她理应得到快乐,让她明白她母亲对她实施的暴行叫「女性割礼」。在这个坦诚而不失风趣的演讲中,Khadija 向我们分享了她在这个「阴蒂中心」的社会里的成长历程,以及她如何为根除这一陋俗贡献自己的力量。(警告:演讲中包含会引起不适的内容)
- Cross-cultural consultant
Khadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
Hi你好.
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大家好。
00:13
Today今天 I'm going to share分享
my personal个人 journey旅程
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今天我想通过自己的亲身经历,
00:16
with female genital生殖器 mutilation断肢, FGMFGM.
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分享一下我对女性割礼(FGM)的看法。
00:21
Feel free自由 to cry, laugh, cross交叉 your legs,
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请放心大胆地大哭,大笑
不要拘束,想盘腿就盘腿,
00:25
or do anything your body身体 feels感觉 like doing.
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舒服就好,
00:27
I'm not going to name名称
the things your body身体 does.
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你们做什么我都不会有意见。
00:31
I was born天生 in Sierra内华达 Leone塞拉利昂.
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我生于塞拉利昂。
00:33
Did anybody任何人 watch "Blood血液 Diamond钻石"?
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有人看过《血腥钻石》这部电影吗?
00:36
If you have any thoughts思念 --
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如果你有什么打算的话——
00:38
I don't have any diamonds钻石
on me, by the way.
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我身上一颗钻石都没有,顺便说一下。
00:42
If you have heard听说 of Ebola埃博拉病毒,
well, that's in Sierra内华达 Leone塞拉利昂 as well.
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如果你听说过埃博拉病毒,
塞拉利昂境内也有埃博拉感染案例。
00:45
I don't have Ebola埃博拉病毒. You're all safe安全.
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我不是埃博拉病毒携带者。
你们都很安全。
00:47
Don't rush to the door.
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不要冲向那扇门。
00:48
Be seated坐在. You're fine.
I was checked检查 before I got here.
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坐着就好。我来这演讲前体检过了。
00:53
My grandfather祖父 had three wives妻子.
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我的祖父有三个妻子。
00:56
Don't ask me why a man
needs需求 more than one wife妻子.
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不要问我为什么一个男人需要很多妻子。
00:58
Men男人, do you need more than one wife妻子?
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男人啊,一个妻子真的不够吗?
01:00
I don't think so. There you go.
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我不这么认为。随他去吧,
01:02
He was looking for a heart attack攻击,
that's what I say.
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他自找心脏病,我就是这么觉得的。
01:05
Oh yeah, he was.
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哦,好吧,他真的得心脏病了。
01:08
When I was three, war战争 broke打破 out
in Sierra内华达 Leone塞拉利昂 in 1991.
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1991年我三岁时,
塞拉利昂爆发了一场战争。
01:12
I remember记得 literally按照字面 going to bed
one night, everything was good.
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我清晰地记得,某天晚上当我躺下入睡时,
什么都还没发生。
01:16
The next下一个 day, I woke醒来 up,
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第二天,当我醒来时,
01:18
bombs炸弹 were dropping落下 everywhere到处,
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已是硝烟四起,
01:20
and people were trying
to kill me and my family家庭.
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我和我的家人都受到了生命威胁。
01:22
We escaped逃脱 the war战争 and ended结束 up
in Gambia冈比亚, in West西 Africa非洲.
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我们逃亡了,最后到达西非国家冈比亚。
01:27
Ebola埃博拉病毒 is there as well. Stay away from it.
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那儿也有埃博拉病毒,不要去那。
01:31
While we were there as refugees难民,
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身为难民,
01:32
we didn't know what
was going to become成为 of us.
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我们不知道前方等待我们的是什么。
01:36
My mom妈妈 applied应用的 for refugee难民 status状态.
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我妈妈申请了我们的难民身份。
01:38
She's a wonderful精彩, smart聪明 woman女人, that one,
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她是一个不可思议母亲,也很聪明。
01:41
and we were lucky幸运.
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我们很幸运,
01:42
Australia澳大利亚 said, we will take you in.
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澳大利亚接纳了我们。
01:45
Good job工作, Aussies澳大利亚人.
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多亏你们了,澳大利亚人。
01:48
Before we were meant意味着 to travel旅行,
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在我们远走他乡之前,
01:51
my mom妈妈 came来了 home one day, and said,
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有一天我妈回家后跟我说,
01:53
"We're going on
a little holiday假日, a little trip."
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「我带你去旅游一下,很近的。」
01:56
She put us in a car汽车,
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她带我上车,
01:57
and we drove开车 for hours小时
and ended结束 up in a bush衬套
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几个小时之后,我们到达冈比亚境内
02:01
in a remote远程 area in Gambia冈比亚.
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一个偏远的灌木林地带。
02:05
In this bush衬套, we found发现 two huts木屋.
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丛林中有两个小棚屋。
02:08
An old lady淑女 came来了 towards us.
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一个老女人向我们走来,
02:11
She was ethnic-looking民族的前瞻性, very old.
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她像一个原始部落人,非常老。
02:14
She had a chat with my mom妈妈, and went back.
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她跟我妈谈了一会就回来了,
02:17
Then she came来了 back and walked
away from us into a second第二 hut棚屋.
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后来不久又离开我们到另一个棚屋里。
02:22
I'm standing常设 there thinking思维,
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我站在那儿,不禁想,
02:23
"This is very confusing扑朔迷离.
I don't know what's going on."
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「真奇怪,到底要做什么。」
02:26
The next下一个 thing I knew知道,
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然后,
02:28
my mom妈妈 took me into this hut棚屋.
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我妈带我走进了那个棚屋。
02:31
She took my clothes衣服 off,
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她脱下我的衣服,
02:33
and then she pinned固定 me down on the floor地板.
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然后把我放倒在地上。
02:37
I struggled挣扎 and tried试着
to get her off me, but I couldn't不能.
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我拼命挣扎,想要把她推开,
但无济于事。
02:40
Then the old lady淑女 came来了 towards me
with a rusty-looking生锈的前瞻性 knife,
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然后那个老女人走上前来,
手拿一把生了锈的刀子,
02:44
one of the sharp尖锐 knives,
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那种锋利的,
02:46
orange-looking橙期待, has never seen看到
water or sunlight阳光 before.
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锈成褐色却依旧锋利的刀子。
02:50
I thought she was going to slaughter屠宰 me,
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我以为她要杀了我,
02:52
but she didn't.
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但她没有。
02:54
She slowly慢慢地 slid下滑 down my body身体
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她的手缓慢地滑过我的身子,
02:57
and ended结束 up where my vagina阴道 is.
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停在了阴道处。
03:01
She took hold保持 of what I now know
to be my clitoris阴蒂,
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她捏住我的下体,
后来我才知道那是阴蒂,
03:06
she took that rusty生疏 knife,
and started开始 cutting切割 away, inch英寸 by inch英寸.
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然后用生锈的刀子一点一点地割下它。
03:14
I screamed尖叫, I cried哭了,
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我歇斯底里地哭叫,
03:19
and asked my mom妈妈 to get off me
so this pain疼痛 will stop,
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让我妈杀了我以了却这番痛苦,
03:23
but all she did was say, "Be quiet安静."
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但她只是在那说,「不要出声。」
03:26
This old lady淑女 sawed啥样 away at my flesh
for what felt like forever永远,
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这个老女人割下来我的肉,
好似永生难忘的痛,
03:32
and then when she was doneDONE,
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完事后,
03:35
she threw that piece of flesh
across横过 the floor地板
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她把我的那块肉丢在了房间另一侧,
03:38
as if it was the most disgusting讨厌 thing
she's ever touched感动.
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好像那是她碰过的最恶心的东西一般。
03:43
They both got off me,
and left me there bleeding流血的,
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她俩从我身上下来,留我一个人在那流血,
03:46
crying哭了, and confused困惑
as to what just happened发生.
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哭泣,却茫然不知所措。
03:53
We never talked about this again.
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后来我跟我妈没谈起过这件事。
03:55
Very soon不久, we found发现
that we were coming未来 to Australia澳大利亚,
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不久,我们就要动身前往澳大利亚了,
03:59
and this is when you had
the Sydney悉尼 Olympics奥运会 at the time,
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那时正举行悉尼奥运会,
04:02
and people said we were going
to the end结束 of the world世界,
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有人说现在去对我们而言是世界末日,
04:04
there was nowhere无处 else其他
to go after Australia澳大利亚.
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除了澳大利亚,我们别无选择。
04:06
Yeah, that comforted us a bit.
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好吧,这的确让我们感到些许宽慰。
04:09
It took us three days to get here.
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我们花了三天才来到这。
04:11
We went to Senegal塞内加尔, then France法国,
and then Singapore新加坡.
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我们途经塞内加尔,法国,
然后到新加坡。
04:16
We went to the bathroom浴室 to wash our hands.
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我们去洗手间洗手,
04:19
We spent花费 15 minutes分钟
opening开盘 the tap龙头 like this.
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花了十五分钟也没让这个水龙头流出水来。
04:23
Then somebody came来了 in,
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一个人走了进来,
04:25
slid下滑 their hand under and water came来了 out,
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把手放到了下面,水就出来了,
04:27
and we thought, is this what we're in for?
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我们当时想,
这真的我们即将生活的地方吗?
04:30
Like, seriously认真地.
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真的,不可思议。
04:32
We got to Adelaide阿德莱德, small place地点,
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我们到达了阿德莱德,一个小地方,
04:35
where literally按照字面 they dumped us
in Adelaide阿德莱德, that's what I would say.
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事实上是他们把我们丢在了阿德莱德,
我不得不这么说。
04:38
They dumped us there.
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他们把我们丢在了那儿。
04:40
We were very grateful感激.
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我们心中感激万分,
04:42
We settled安定 and we liked喜欢 it.
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在那儿安定下来,喜欢上新的家园。
04:43
We were like, "We're home, we're here."
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我们心里所想的是,
「我们到家了,这就是家。」
04:45
Then somebody took us to Rundle朗德尔 Mall购物中心.
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某一天有人带我们去Rundle购物中心。
04:48
Adelaide阿德莱德 has only one mall购物中心.
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阿德莱德只有一个购物中心,
04:49
It's this small place地点.
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毕竟这是个小地方。
04:53
And we saw a lot of Asian亚洲 people.
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我们在那儿看到了许多亚洲人。
04:55
My mom妈妈 said all of a sudden突然, panicking恐慌,
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突然我妈妈惊慌了,说,
04:57
"You brought us to the wrong错误 place地点.
You must必须 take us back to Australia澳大利亚."
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「你带错路了,必须带我们回澳大利亚。」
05:03
Yeah. It had to be explained解释 to her that
there were a lot of Asians亚洲人 in Australia澳大利亚
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好吧,我们好不容易说服她
有很多亚洲人住在澳大利亚,
05:08
and we were in the right place地点.
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我们没离开澳大利亚,
05:10
So fine, it's all good.
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我们很安全。
05:13
My mom妈妈 then had this brilliant辉煌 idea理念
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后来我妈想出了一个「绝妙」的点子,
05:15
that I should go to a girls女孩 school学校
because they were less racist种族主义者.
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说我应该去女子学校,
那儿的歧视会相对弱一些。
05:18
I don't know where she read
that publication出版物. (Laughter笑声)
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我不知道她哪来的消息。(笑声)
05:21
Never found发现 evidence证据 of it to this day.
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到今天也没有证据来证实她这句话。
05:25
Six hundred white白色 kids孩子,
and I was the only black黑色 child儿童 there.
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六百个白人孩子,我是唯一的黑人孩子。
05:29
No, I was the only person
with a bit of a color颜色 on me.
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不,我是唯一的一个有一丁点
白色以外皮肤的孩子。
05:32
Let me say that. Chocolate巧克力 color颜色.
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或者说,是巧克力色。
05:35
There were no Asians亚洲人, no indigenous土著.
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学校里没有亚洲人,没有土著人。
05:38
All we had was some tan黄褐色 girls女孩,
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唯一的白色以外的颜色就是晒黑的,
05:39
girls女孩 who felt the need
to be under the sun太阳.
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那些喜欢晒太阳的女孩子。
05:41
It wasn't the same相同 as my chocolate巧克力,
though虽然. Not the same相同.
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但这跟我的巧克力色不同。不一样的。
05:45
Settling沉降 in Australia澳大利亚 was quite相当 hard,
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在澳大利亚生活真的不容易,
05:48
but it became成为 harder更难 when I started开始
volunteering志愿服务 for an organization组织
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但自从我为一个名为
全国女性健康的组织做志愿者开始,
05:51
called Women's女士的 Health健康 Statewide全州,
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生活就更不容易了,
05:55
and I joined加盟 their
female genital生殖器 mutilation断肢 program程序
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我加入了这个组织的女性割礼项目,
05:58
without any awareness意识 of what
this program程序 was actually其实 about,
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当时我对这个项目的内容一无所知,
06:02
or that it related有关 to me in any way.
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也不知道它跟我有什么关系。
06:04
I spent花费 months个月 educating教育
nurses护士 and doctors医生
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后面的几个月时间里,
我为护士和医生们讲述
06:07
about what female genital生殖器 mutilation断肢 was
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女性割礼的概念,
06:10
and where it was practiced:
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以及割礼盛行的区域:
06:11
Africa非洲, the Middle中间 East, Asia亚洲,
and now, Australia澳大利亚 and London伦敦 and America美国,
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非洲,中东,亚洲,如今,
还有澳大利亚,伦敦和美国,
06:16
because, as we all know,
we live生活 in a multicultural多元文化 society社会,
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因为,我们都知道,
我们住在一个多元化的社会,
06:20
and people who come from those backgrounds背景
come with their culture文化,
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世界各地的人将其自身文化带到新的地方,
06:24
and sometimes有时 they have cultural文化 practices做法
that we may可能 not agree同意 with,
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他们的文化或许不被我们认同,
06:30
but they continue继续 to practice实践 them.
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但他们一直秉持着原有文化习俗。
06:33
One day, I was looking at the chart图表
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有一天,我在看不同类型
06:35
of the different不同 types类型
of female genital生殖器 mutilation断肢,
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女性割礼的图解说明,
06:38
FGMFGM, I will just say FGMFGM for short.
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后面我就将女性割礼简称为FGM吧。
06:41
Type类型 I is when they cut off the hood引擎罩.
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类型一是切除阴蒂;
06:44
Type类型 IIII is when
they cut off the whole整个 clitoris阴蒂
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类型二是切除整个阴蒂
06:47
and some of your labia阴唇 majora姆吉拉的,
or your outer lips嘴唇,
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和一部分大阴唇,或外阴唇;
06:52
and Type类型 IIIIII is when they
cut off the whole整个 clitoris阴蒂
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类型三是切除整个阴蒂后
06:54
and then they sew you up
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将下体缝合,
06:56
so you only have a little hole
to pee撒尿 and have your period.
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只留一个小洞作为排尿和经血之用。
07:00
My eyes眼睛 went onto Type类型 IIII.
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我的目光盯在了第二类上。
07:03
Before all of this,
I pretty漂亮 much had amnesia健忘症.
134
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在那一天前,我确信我有一段缺失的记忆,
07:05
I was in so much shock休克
and traumatized创伤 by what had happened发生,
135
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那件事给我带来撕心裂肺的苦楚
和难以名状的震惊,
07:08
I didn't remember记得 any of it.
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我却忘得一干二净。
07:10
Yes, I was aware知道的 something bad
happened发生 to me,
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没错,我知道痛苦曾降临到我身上,
07:13
but I had no recollection回忆
of what had happened发生.
138
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但具体是什么我却想不起来。
07:15
I knew知道 I had a scar瘢痕 down there,
139
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我知道我身上有一道伤疤,
07:17
but I thought everybody每个人
had a scar瘢痕 down there.
140
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但我一直以为人人都如此,
07:19
This had happened发生 to everybody每个人 else其他.
141
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这应该是人人都要经历的。
07:21
But when I looked看着 at Type类型 IIII,
it all came来了 back to me.
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但那天当我看到类型二时,所有的记忆都回来了。
07:25
I remembered记得 what was doneDONE to me.
143
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我想起来了我遭受的一切,
07:27
I remembered记得 being存在 in that hut棚屋
144
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2007
我想起了在小棚屋里
07:29
with that old lady淑女 and my mom妈妈
holding保持 me down.
145
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我被我妈和那个老女人压在地上。
07:34
Words cannot不能 express表现 the pain疼痛 I felt,
146
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我的伤痛和疑惑
07:39
the confusion混乱 that I felt,
147
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无法用言语表达,
07:42
because now I realized实现 that
what was doneDONE to me was a terrible可怕 thing
148
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因为那时我终于意识到发生在我身上的是
07:46
that in this society社会 was called barbaric野蛮,
149
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一件被这里的人认为是可怕的、
野蛮的事情,
07:49
it was called mutilation断肢.
150
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1967
它被称作残害。
07:51
My mother母亲 had said
it was called circumcision割礼,
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我妈说这叫割礼,
07:54
but here it was mutilation断肢.
152
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但这里的人们称之为残害。
07:56
I was thinking思维, I'm mutilated肢解?
I'm a mutilated肢解 person.
153
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我当时就想,我是残缺的吗?
我是一个残缺的人,
07:59
Oh my God.
154
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天啊。
08:01
And then the anger愤怒 came来了.
155
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我心中的怒火无法抑制。
08:03
I was a black黑色 angry愤怒 woman女人.
(Laughter笑声)
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4000
我是一个愤怒的黑人女子。(笑声)
08:07
Oh yeah.
157
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没错,
08:08
A little one, but angry愤怒 nevertheless虽然.
158
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2485
我虽然年纪尚轻,但确实很愤怒。
08:11
I went home and said to my mom妈妈,
159
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3726
我回到家中,对我妈说,
08:15
"You did something."
160
483720
1945
「你做了什么!」
08:17
This is not the African非洲人 thing to do,
pointing指点 at your mother母亲,
161
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2886
非洲国家的人很少会这样对着母亲说话,
08:20
but hey, I was ready准备 for any consequences后果.
162
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2211
但是,我已经顾不得了。
08:22
"You did something to me."
163
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「你对我做了什么!」
08:24
She's like, "What are you
talking about, Khadija哈蒂嘉?"
164
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她说,「你在说什么呢,Khadija?」
08:27
She's used to me mouthing唱衰 off.
165
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1686
她已经习惯我顶嘴了。
08:28
I'm like, "Those years年份 ago,
You circumcised割礼 me.
166
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4175
我说,「许多年前,你对我实施了割礼,
08:33
You cut away something
that belonged属于 to me."
167
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3483
你割掉了我身体的一部分。」
08:36
She said, "Yes, I did.
168
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1820
她说,「没错,
08:38
I did it for your own拥有 good.
169
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我是为你好,
08:43
It was in your best最好 interest利益.
170
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2088
都是为你着想。
08:45
Your grandmother祖母 did it to me,
and I did it to you.
171
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3185
你的祖母对我这样做,我也对你做啊。
08:48
It's made制作 you a woman女人."
172
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1951
这样才能让你成为女人。」
08:50
I'm like, "How?"
173
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1752
我说,「怎么就成女人了?」
08:52
She said, "You're empowered授权, Khadija哈蒂嘉.
174
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2086
她说,「这样你才会变强,Khadija,
08:54
Do you get itchy发痒的 down there?"
175
522206
1817
下面有没有痒过?」
08:56
I'm like, "No, why would I
get itchy发痒的 down there?"
176
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2318
我说,「没有,为什么下面会痒?」
08:58
She said, "Well,
if you were not circumcised割礼,
177
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2679
她说,「如果没把你下体割去,
09:01
you would get itchy发痒的 down there.
178
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2159
你那里就会觉得痒,
09:03
Women妇女 who are not circumcised割礼
get itchy发痒的 all the time.
179
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3135
那些没受过割礼的女人会一直觉得痒,
09:06
Then they sleep睡觉 around with everybody每个人.
180
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3059
她们就会四处鬼混,随便跟人睡觉,
09:09
You are not going
to sleep睡觉 around with anybody任何人."
181
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2812
你不会随便跟人上床的。」
09:12
And I thought,
182
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1734
我当时就想,
09:13
her definition定义 of empowerment权力
was very strange奇怪. (Laughter笑声)
183
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5228
她对「变强」的理解真的好奇怪。(笑声)
09:20
That was the end结束
of our first conversation会话.
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那次谈话就这么结束了。
09:23
I went back to school学校.
185
551078
1311
我后来回到了学校。
09:24
These were the days when we had
Dolly玩具娃娃 and Girlfriend女朋友 magazines杂志.
186
552389
3496
那个年代《Dolly and Girlfriend》杂志正红,
09:27
There was always the sealed密封 section部分.
Anybody任何人 remember记得 those sealed密封 sections部分?
187
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4267
每期都有「少儿不宜」的部分,
还有人记得吗?
09:32
The naughty淘气 bits, you know?
188
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2074
蠢蠢欲动的孩子,
09:34
Oh yeah, I love those.
(Laughter笑声)
189
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2875
哦耶,我爱不释手。(笑声)
09:37
Anyway无论如何, there was always
an article文章 about pleasure乐趣
190
565101
3593
总之,这本杂志每一期
都会刊登男女关系的文章,
09:40
and relationships关系 and, of course课程, sex性别.
191
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3266
当然,性话题免不了。
09:43
But it always assumed假定
that you had a clitoris阴蒂, though虽然,
192
571960
4006
只有有阴蒂的女性
才会有文章中描绘的那些感受,
09:47
and I thought, this doesn't fit适合 me.
193
575966
3683
我想,这都跟我无关。
09:51
This doesn't talk about people like me.
194
579649
2818
文章中写到的那些女性肯定不是我这样的。
09:54
I don't have a clitoris阴蒂.
195
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1653
我没有阴蒂。
09:56
I watched看着 TV电视 and those women妇女
would moan呻吟 like, "Oh! Oh!"
196
584120
4152
我看到过电视里有的女人总会低吟,
「哦!哦!」
10:00
I was like, these people
and their damned该死 clitoris阴蒂.
197
588272
3003
我想,靠,这些女人也有阴蒂。
10:03
(Laughter笑声)
198
591275
1683
(笑声)
10:04
What is a woman女人 without a clitoris阴蒂
supposed应该 to do with her life?
199
592958
4033
没有阴蒂的女人这一辈子要怎么过?
10:08
That's what I want to know.
200
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1533
我很想知道,
10:10
I want to do that too --
"Oh! Oh!" and all of that.
201
598524
3870
我也很想像那些女人一样低吟
「哦!哦!」
10:14
Didn't happen发生.
202
602394
1678
这注定不会发生了。
10:16
So I came来了 home once一旦 again
and said to my mom妈妈,
203
604072
3085
又一天回到家后,我对我妈说,
10:19
"Dolly玩具娃娃 and Girlfriend女朋友 said
I deserve值得 pleasure乐趣,
204
607157
4496
「《Dolly and Girlfriend》说我理应享有快感,
10:23
that I should be having orgasms性高潮,
205
611653
1943
我也应该有高潮,
10:25
and that white白色 men男人 should figure数字 out
how to find the clitoris阴蒂."
206
613603
4645
白人男人应该研究如何找到女人的阴蒂。」
10:30
Apparently显然地, white白色 men男人
have a problem问题 finding发现 the clitoris阴蒂.
207
618248
3256
很明显,白人男人找阴蒂总是很困难。
10:33
(Laughter笑声)
208
621504
1906
(笑声)
10:35
Just saying, it wasn't me.
It was Dolly玩具娃娃 that said that.
209
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4607
我只是告诉我妈,这不是我说的,
是Dolly说的。
10:40
And I thought to myself,
I had an inner joke玩笑 in my head
210
628017
3591
当时我脑子里想,我脑子里蹦出一个笑话,
10:43
that said, "I will marry结婚 a white白色 man.
211
631608
3111
「我要嫁给一个白人,
10:46
He won't惯于 have that problem问题 with me."
(Laughter笑声)
212
634719
3581
他就不会有困难了。」(笑声)
10:50
So I said to my mom妈妈,
213
638300
1536
我对我妈说,
10:51
"Dolly玩具娃娃 and Girlfriend女朋友 said
I deserve值得 pleasure乐趣, and do you know
214
639836
7099
「《Dolly and Girlfriend》说我应有快感,
你知道吗,
10:58
what you have taken采取 away from me,
what you have denied否认 me?
215
646935
3785
你剥夺了它,你让我体验不到!
11:02
You have invaded入侵 me
in the most sacred神圣 way.
216
650720
3173
你用最残酷的方式糟蹋了我。
11:05
I want pleasure乐趣.
217
653893
1553
我要快感,
11:07
I want to get horny角质, dammit该死, as well."
218
655446
3305
我也要淫荡,靠!」
11:10
And she said to me,
"Who is Dolly玩具娃娃 and Girlfriend女朋友?
219
658751
2718
她对我说,「Dolly and Girlfriend 是谁?
11:13
Are they your new friends朋友, Khadija哈蒂嘉?"
220
661469
2460
是你新结交的朋友吗,Khadija?」
11:15
I was like, "No, they're not.
That's a magazine杂志, mom妈妈, a magazine杂志."
221
663929
3855
我说,「不,不是的,
这是一本杂志,妈,是杂志。」
11:19
She didn't get it.
222
667784
1615
她明白不了我的呐喊。
11:21
We came来了 from two different不同 worlds世界.
223
669399
2108
我们来自两个不同的世界。
11:23
When she was growing生长 up,
not having a clitoris阴蒂 was the norm规范.
224
671507
3605
在她成长的那个年代,
切除阴蒂的习俗是社会默许的文化,
11:27
It was celebrated著名.
225
675112
2674
是被称许鼓励的。
11:29
I was an African非洲人 Australian澳大利亚 girl女孩.
226
677786
2367
我是一个非洲裔澳大利亚女孩,
11:32
I lived生活 in a society社会
that was very clitoris-centric阴蒂为中心.
227
680153
3809
我成长的社会却是「阴蒂中心」的。
11:35
It was all about the damn该死的 clitoris阴蒂!
228
683962
4231
一切都围着阴蒂转!
11:40
And I didn't have one!
229
688193
1719
我却没有!
11:41
That pissed生气 me off.
230
689912
3554
这惹毛了我。
11:45
So once一旦 I went through通过
this strange奇怪 phase of anger愤怒
231
693466
3804
自这引发了我莫名的气愤、痛楚
11:49
and pain疼痛 and confusion混乱,
232
697270
1706
和疑惑的事件之后,
11:50
I remember记得 booking预订
an appointment约定 with my therapist治疗师.
233
698976
2584
我跟我的心理医生预约了一次诊疗。
11:53
Yes, I'm an African非洲人
who has a therapist治疗师. There you go.
234
701560
3025
没错,我是个有心理医生的非洲女孩。
随你们想吧。
11:56
And I said to her,
235
704585
2981
我对她说,
11:59
"I was 13. I was a child儿童.
236
707566
2435
「我十三岁了,还是个孩子,
12:02
I was settling解决 in a new country国家,
237
710001
1523
在新的国度安了家,
12:03
I was dealing交易 with racism种族主义
and discrimination区别,
238
711524
3045
面对种族主义和歧视,
12:06
English英语 is my third第三 language语言,
and then there it was."
239
714569
2894
英语是我的第三语言,基本上这样。」
12:09
I said to her, "I feel like
I'm not a woman女人
240
717463
2887
我对她说,「因为发生过不幸的事情,
12:12
because of what was doneDONE to me.
241
720350
2424
我感觉我不是一个女人。
12:14
I feel incomplete残缺.
242
722774
2756
我感觉我不完整,
12:17
Am I going to be asexual无性?"
243
725530
3371
我此生都不会有性生活吗?」
12:20
Because from what I knew知道 about FGMFGM,
244
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2803
我这么问是因为就我所知,
12:23
the whole整个 aim目标 of it was to control控制
the sexuality性欲 of women妇女.
245
731704
3682
FGM的目的就是控制女性的性欲,
12:27
It's so that we don't have
any sexual有性 desire欲望.
246
735386
3144
扼杀女性的性欲。
12:30
And I said, "Am I asexual无性 now?
247
738530
1787
我说,「我是无性人吗?
12:32
Will I just live生活 the rest休息 of my life
not feeling感觉 like having sex性别,
248
740317
3361
从今往后做爱时我都感觉不到什么吗?
12:35
not enjoying享受 sex性别?"
249
743678
2512
不会有所享受是吗?」
12:38
She couldn't不能 answer回答 my questions问题,
250
746190
2620
她回答不了我的问题,
12:40
so they went unanswered悬而未决.
251
748810
2653
这些疑问就留在了我的心中。
12:43
When I started开始 having my period
around the age年龄 of 14,
252
751463
2629
在14岁迎来了初潮后,
12:46
I realized实现 I didn't have
normal正常 periods because of FGMFGM.
253
754092
3881
我意识到因为FGM,
12:49
My periods were heavy, they were long,
and they were very painful痛苦.
254
757973
5746
我的生理周期不正常,流量大,
持续时间长,疼痛难当。
12:55
Then they told me I had fibroids肌瘤.
255
763726
1983
有人告诉我我患有子宫肌瘤,
12:57
They're like these little balls
sitting坐在 there.
256
765709
2627
肿瘤就像球状物附着在那儿,
13:00
One was covering覆盖 one of my ovaries卵巢.
257
768336
2744
其中一个裹住了我的卵巢。
13:03
And there came来了 then the big news新闻.
258
771080
3085
随后是一个晴天霹雳,
13:06
"We don't think you can
have children孩子, Khadija哈蒂嘉."
259
774165
3251
「你可能不能有孩子,Khadija。」
13:09
And once一旦 again, I was
an angry愤怒 black黑色 woman女人.
260
777416
4722
又一次,我成了愤怒的黑人女子。
13:14
I went home and I said to my mom妈妈,
261
782138
3175
回到家后,对我妈说,
13:17
"Your act法案, your action行动,
no matter what your may可能 defense防御 may可能 be" --
262
785313
4494
「你的所作所为,无论是出于怎样的目的」
13:21
because she thought she did it out love --
263
789807
2594
因为她是出于对我的爱才这么做——
13:24
"what you did out of love
is harming汉宁波 me, and it's hurting伤害 me.
264
792401
4628
「你的爱对我而言却是伤害,带给我伤痛。
13:29
What do you have to say for that?"
265
797029
3822
你不应该为此说什么吗?」
13:32
She said, "I did what I had to do
as a mother母亲."
266
800851
3184
她说,「作为一个母亲,我不得不做。」
13:36
I'm still waiting等候
for an apology歉意, by the way.
267
804035
2709
至今我依旧在等她的道歉,顺便说一下。
13:40
Then I got married已婚.
268
808124
2387
后来我结婚了。
13:43
And once一旦 again --
269
811811
2138
FGM依然是
13:45
FGMFGM is like the gift礼品 that keeps保持 giving.
270
813949
2228
挥之不去的阴影。
13:48
You figure数字 that out very soon不久.
271
816177
2685
结婚后不久我就知道了。
13:50
Sex性别 was very painful痛苦.
272
818862
3026
性爱总是很痛苦,
13:53
It hurt伤害 all the time.
273
821888
2250
始终在折磨我。
13:56
And of course课程 I realized实现, they said,
"You can't have kids孩子."
274
824138
3698
当然,那个声音一直在心里回荡,
「你生不了孩子的。」
13:59
I thought, "Wow, is this my existence存在?
Is this what life is all about?"
275
827836
5933
我想,「天啊,我就这样了吗?
这就是我的一生吗?」
14:08
I'm proud骄傲 to tell you,
276
836843
2202
我很自豪地告诉你们,
14:11
five months个月 ago,
277
839045
1876
五个月前,
14:12
I was told I was pregnant.
278
840921
2514
我得知我怀孕了。
14:15
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
14:24
I am the lucky幸运 girl女孩.
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我是个幸运的女孩。
14:25
There are so many许多 women妇女 out there
who have gone走了 through通过 FGMFGM
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有那么多经历了FGM的女孩
14:28
who have infertility不孕不育.
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856652
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怀不了孩子。
14:30
I know a nine-year-old九十岁 girl女孩 who has
incontinence失禁, constant不变 infections感染, pain疼痛.
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858283
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我认识一个9岁的女孩,不仅大小便失禁,
还有无休止的感染和伤痛。
14:37
It's that gift礼品. It doesn't stop giving.
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865513
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这就是FGM带来的,给数不胜数的女孩
14:40
It affects影响 every一切 area of your life,
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868140
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生活的方方面面带来伤害。
14:43
and this happened发生 to me
because I was born天生 a girl女孩
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871286
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我也经历了这一切,只是因为我生在了一个
14:46
in the wrong错误 place地点.
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错误的地方,
14:48
That's why it happened发生 to me.
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一切都源于此。
14:50
I channel渠道 all that anger愤怒,
all that pain疼痛, into advocacy拥护
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我把心中的愤懑和伤痛都倾吐了出来,
14:55
because I needed需要 my pain疼痛
to be worth价值 something.
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因为我不想让我的经历变成毫无意义的伤痛。
14:58
So I'm the director导向器 of an organization组织
called No FGMFGM Australia澳大利亚.
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为此,我成为了一个名为「澳大利亚无FGM」
的组织的领头人。
15:02
You heard听说 me right.
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你没有听错,
15:04
Why No FGMFGM Australia澳大利亚?
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为什么叫「澳大利亚无FGM」?
15:05
FGMFGM is in Australia澳大利亚.
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因为澳大利亚存在FGM。
15:08
Two days ago, I had to call
Child儿童 Protective保护的 Services服务,
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两天前,我不得不给儿童保障局打电话,
15:12
because somewhere某处 in Australia澳大利亚,
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因为在澳大利亚某个地方,
15:15
there's a four-year四年 old
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一个母亲正
15:17
there's a four-year-old四十岁 whose谁的 mom妈妈
is planning规划 on performing执行 FGMFGM on her.
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打算给她四岁的女儿实施割礼,四岁。
15:22
That child儿童 is in kindykindy.
I'll let that sink水槽 in: four years年份 old.
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910277
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小孩是无辜的。你们想想,四岁啊。
15:31
A couple一对 of months个月 ago, I met会见 a lady淑女
who is married已婚 to a Malaysian马来西亚 man.
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几个月前,
我遇到一个嫁给马来西亚男人的妇女,
15:35
Her husband丈夫 came来了 home one day and said
he was going to take their daughters女儿
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923763
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某一天她丈夫回到家后跟她说,
他要带女儿们回到
15:39
back to Malaysia马来西亚
to cut off their clitoris阴蒂.
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927334
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马拉西亚割掉她们的阴蒂。
15:41
And she said, "Why?"
He said they were dirty.
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她说,「为什么?」
他说不割阴蒂的女人是肮脏的。
15:45
And she said, "Well, you married已婚 me."
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她说,「但你还是娶了我。」
15:47
He said, "Oh, this is my cultural文化 belief信仰."
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他说,「好吧,但这是我的文化信仰。」
15:51
They then went into a whole整个 discussion讨论
where she said to him,
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2885
然后他俩彻夜长谈,她说,
15:54
"Over my dead body身体
will you do that to my daughters女儿."
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「我死也不会让你带我女儿去那儿。」
15:57
But imagine想像 if this woman女人
wasn't aware知道的 of what FGMFGM was,
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想象一下,
如果这个母亲不知道FGM是什么,
16:01
if they never had that conversation会话?
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如果他俩没进行过谈话,
16:03
Her children孩子 would have been
flown飞行 over to Malaysia马来西亚
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他们的孩子就要被带去马来西亚,
16:06
and they would have come back
changed for the rest休息 of their lives生活.
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再回来时一生的轨迹就已经变调了。
16:09
Do you know the millions百万 of dollars美元
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你们知道我们处理这些问题
16:11
it would take us to deal合同
with an issue问题 like that?
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2386
要投入数百万美金吗?
16:13
[Three children孩子 per day] in Australia澳大利亚
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每天平均有三个孩子
16:16
are at risk风险 of having FGMFGM
performed执行 on them.
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面临遭受割礼的危险。
16:19
This is an Australian澳大利亚 problem问题, people.
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这是澳大利亚的问题啊,
16:22
It's not an African非洲人 problem问题.
It's not a Middle中间 Eastern problem问题.
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这不只是非洲、中东的问题,
16:25
It's not white白色, it's not black黑色,
it has no color颜色, it's everybody's每个人的 problem问题.
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不只是黑人或白人的问题,
无关乎肤色,这是所有人面临的问题。
16:30
FGMFGM is child儿童 abuse滥用.
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FGM就是虐待儿童,
16:33
It's violence暴力 against反对 women妇女.
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是对女性的暴行,
16:35
It's saying that women妇女 don't have
a right to sexual有性 pleasure乐趣.
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FGM的目的是女性没有享受性爱的权利,
16:39
It says we don't have
a right to our bodies身体.
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3035
我们没有权利保护自己的身体。
16:42
Well, I say no to that,
and you know what? Bullshit废话.
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我对这种暴行说不,你知道吗?
这个习俗真烂。
16:46
That's what I have to say to that.
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这就是我要说的。
16:48
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
16:54
I am proud骄傲 to say that
I'm doing my part部分 in ending结尾 FGMFGM.
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我在为根除FGM贡献自己的力量,
为此我很自豪。
17:00
What are you going to do?
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你会不会也做些什么?
17:02
There may可能 be a child儿童 in your classroom课堂
who is at risk风险 of FGMFGM.
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也许在你的教室里某个孩子
面临FGM的危险。
17:07
There may可能 be a patient患者
who comes to your hospital醫院
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也许你所在医院里的某个人
17:10
who is at risk风险 of FGMFGM.
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正面临FGM的危险。
17:12
But this is the reality现实,
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这就是事实,
17:14
that even in our beloved心爱 Australia澳大利亚,
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即便是我们挚爱的澳大利亚,
17:16
the most wonderful精彩 place地点 in the world世界,
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就在这个世界上最美好的地方,
17:18
children孩子 are being存在 abused滥用
because of a culture文化.
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孩子正因为某种陋俗而面临危险。
17:22
Culture文化 should not be
a defense防御 for child儿童 abuse滥用.
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1030653
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习俗文化不应成为虐待儿童的借口。
17:25
I want ever single one of you
to see FGMFGM as an issue问题 for you.
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我希望你们每一个人
都把FGM看成是切身相关的事情。
17:30
Make it personal个人.
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1486
FGM就在你的身边,
17:32
It could be your daughter女儿,
your sister妹妹, your cousin表姐.
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3089
或许是你的女儿,你的姐妹,你的表亲。
17:35
I can't fight斗争 FGMFGM alone单独.
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我不能孤单地挑战FGM,
17:38
I could try, but I can't.
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我会努力,但一个人的力量不够。
17:40
So my appeal上诉 to you is, please join加入 me.
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2805
我对你们的希望是,跟我站在一起。
17:43
Sign标志 my petition请愿 on Change更改.org组织
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1051733
2113
在 Change.org 写下我的请愿,
(译注:一个国际性的请愿网站,大陆无法访问)
17:45
and type类型 in Khadija哈蒂嘉, my name名称,
and it'll它会 come up, and sign标志 it.
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3987
并输入我的名字,Khadija,
它会出现,然后签下。
17:49
The aim目标 of that is to get support支持
for FGMFGM victims受害者 in Australia澳大利亚
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3592
我们的目的是为澳大利亚
受割礼之害的儿童提供帮助,
17:53
and to protect保护 little girls女孩
growing生长 up here
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并保护在这里成长的女孩,
17:55
to not have this evil邪恶 doneDONE to them,
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不让割礼发生在她们身上,
17:58
because every一切 child儿童
has a right to pleasure乐趣.
347
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3683
因为,每一个小孩都有权利享乐。
18:02
Every一切 child儿童 has a right
to their bodies身体 being存在 left intact完整,
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1070509
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每一个小孩都有权利保护身体不受伤害。
18:05
and dammit该死, ever child儿童
has a right to a clitoris阴蒂.
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每个小孩都有权利拥有阴蒂。
18:10
So please join加入 me in ending结尾 this act法案.
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3665
请跟我一起,让这个陋俗灭绝。
18:14
My favorite喜爱 quote引用 is,
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我最喜欢的一句话是,
18:16
"All it takes for evil邪恶 to prevail战胜
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「善良的人不作为,
18:18
is for a few少数 good men男人
and women妇女 to do nothing."
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3434
邪恶就会蔓延。」
18:21
Are you going to let this evil邪恶
of female genital生殖器 mutilation断肢
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你们希望让女性割礼
18:26
to prevail战胜 in Australia澳大利亚?
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在澳大利亚盛行吗?
18:28
I don't think so,
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我想不是的,
18:30
so please join加入 me in ensuring确保
that it ends结束 in my generation.
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4026
那么就请跟我一起,
让割礼在我们这一代终结。
18:34
Thank you.
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谢谢。
18:36
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
Translated by Yumeng Guo
Reviewed by Psycho Decoder

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Khadija Gbla - Cross-cultural consultant
Khadija Gbla was born in Sierra Leone, spent her youth in Gambia, and as a teenager put down roots in Australia. She uses her cross-cultural heritage to promote understanding in both directions.

Why you should listen

Khadija Gbla was just 3-years-old when the war broke out in her country, Sierra Leone. While her family initially escaped to Gambia, 10 years later they attained refugee status and resettled in Adelaide, Australia. The transition was complex—Khadija experienced racism, illness and depression—but threw herself into her education. She discovered that she had a unique talent: the ability to translate across two very different cultures.

Khadija first used this talent as a peer educator for South Australia’s Women’s Heath Statewide program, where she talked to health professionals about female genital mutilation — helping them understand what it is, where it happens, and the cultural beliefs that surround it. She’s since used her multicultural voice to offer advice on policy through South Australian Government Minister’s Youth Council, to organize camps and activities for newly-arrived refugees and to raise awareness about both sexual and mental health issues among her peers. She has represented Australia in the international arena at the Harvard National Model United Nations, Commonwealth Youth Forum and Australian and Africa Dialogue, and speaks regularly at a wide variety of events to make sure that her perspective is heard.

More profile about the speaker
Khadija Gbla | Speaker | TED.com