TED2015
Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame
Monica Lewinsky: Prisen på skam
Filmed:
Readability: 4.8
16,921,466 views
I 1998 siger Monica Lewinsky: "Jeg var Patient Zero for at miste mit personlige omdømme på en global skala næsten øjeblikkeligt." I dag er den slags online, offentlige ydmygelse, hun gik igennem, blevet en konstant. I en modig talk tager hun et kig på vores "kultur af ydmygelse," hvor online beskæmmelse er lig med dollartegn - og kræver en anden vej.
Monica Lewinsky - Social activist
Monica Lewinsky advocates for a safer and more compassionate social media environment, drawing from her unique experiences at the epicenter of a media maelstrom in 1998. Full bio
Monica Lewinsky advocates for a safer and more compassionate social media environment, drawing from her unique experiences at the epicenter of a media maelstrom in 1998. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
You're looking at a woman
who was publicly silent for a decade.
who was publicly silent for a decade.
0
763
4974
I ser på en kvinde, der var
offentligt tavs i et årti.
offentligt tavs i et årti.
Det har åbenlyst ændret sig,
00:18
Obviously, that's changed,
1
6711
1826
00:20
but only recently.
2
8967
1414
men kun for nylig.
00:23
It was several months ago
3
11051
1578
Det er flere måneder siden,
00:24
that I gave my very first
major public talk
major public talk
4
12629
2973
jeg gav min første,
større, offentlige tale
større, offentlige tale
ved Forbes 30 Under 30 topmøde:
00:27
at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:
5
15602
2615
00:30
1,500 brilliant people,
all under the age of 30.
all under the age of 30.
6
18217
4214
1500 fantastiske mennesker,
alle under en alder af 30.
alle under en alder af 30.
00:35
That meant that in 1998,
7
23101
2764
Det betyder, at i 1998
00:37
the oldest among the group were only 14,
8
25865
3587
var den ældste i gruppen kun 14,
00:41
and the youngest, just four.
9
29452
2847
og den yngste kun 4.
00:45
I joked with them that some
might only have heard of me
might only have heard of me
10
33039
3589
Jeg jokede med, at nogle af dem
muligvis kun har hørt om mig
muligvis kun har hørt om mig
00:48
from rap songs.
11
36628
1952
fra rap-sange.
00:50
Yes, I'm in rap songs.
12
38580
3147
Ja, jeg er i rap-sange.
00:53
Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter)
13
41727
3697
Næsten 40 rap-sange.
00:58
But the night of my speech,
a surprising thing happened.
a surprising thing happened.
14
46614
3495
Men på aftenen til min tale
skete der noget overraskende.
skete der noget overraskende.
01:02
At the age of 41, I was hit on
by a 27-year-old guy.
by a 27-year-old guy.
15
50109
6246
I en alder af 41 blev jeg
lagt an på af en 27-årig fyr.
lagt an på af en 27-årig fyr.
01:09
I know, right?
16
57155
2176
Jeg ved det, virkeligt?
01:12
He was charming and I was flattered,
17
60301
2613
Han var charmerende, og jeg var smigret,
01:14
and I declined.
18
62914
1773
og jeg afslog.
01:17
You know what his
unsuccessful pickup line was?
unsuccessful pickup line was?
19
65387
2944
Ved I, hvad hans
mislykkede pickup line var?
mislykkede pickup line var?
01:21
He could make me feel 22 again.
20
69141
3320
Han kunne få mig til at føle mig 22 igen.
01:24
(Laughter) (Applause)
21
72461
4946
(Latter)
01:30
I realized later that night,
I'm probably the only person over 40
I'm probably the only person over 40
22
78637
5271
Senere den aften indså jeg, at jeg
nok er den eneste person over 40,
nok er den eneste person over 40,
01:35
who does not want to be 22 again.
23
83908
2601
der ikke vil være 22 igen.
01:38
(Laughter)
24
86509
2600
(Latter)
01:41
(Applause)
25
89109
3860
(Bifald)
01:47
At the age of 22,
I fell in love with my boss,
I fell in love with my boss,
26
95269
5025
I en alder af 22 blev jeg
forelsket i min chef,
forelsket i min chef,
01:52
and at the age of 24,
27
100294
2821
og i en alder af 24
01:55
I learned the devastating consequences.
28
103115
3432
lærte jeg de altødelæggende konsekvenser.
01:59
Can I see a show of hands of anyone here
29
107667
3181
Kan jeg se hænderne på dem her,
02:02
who didn't make a mistake
or do something they regretted at 22?
or do something they regretted at 22?
30
110848
4513
der ikke begik en fejl eller gjorde
noget, de fortrød, i en alder af 22?
noget, de fortrød, i en alder af 22?
02:09
Yep. That's what I thought.
31
117151
2567
Jep, det var hvad, jeg regnede med.
02:12
So like me, at 22, a few of you
may have also taken wrong turns
may have also taken wrong turns
32
120648
5780
Så, ligesom mig, i alderen 22 tog nogle
af jer måske nogle forkerte beslutninger
af jer måske nogle forkerte beslutninger
02:18
and fallen in love with the wrong person,
33
126428
3038
og blev forelskede i den forkerte person,
02:21
maybe even your boss.
34
129466
1962
måske endda jeres chef.
02:24
Unlike me, though, your boss
35
132378
2595
I modsætning til mig, dog, var jeres chef
02:26
probably wasn't the president
of the United States of America.
of the United States of America.
36
134973
4079
højst sandsynligt ikke den
amerikanske præsident.
amerikanske præsident.
02:31
Of course, life is full of surprises.
37
139802
4296
Selvfølgelig, livet er
fuld af overraskelser.
fuld af overraskelser.
02:36
Not a day goes by that I'm not
reminded of my mistake,
reminded of my mistake,
38
144098
4923
Der går ikke en dag, uden at
jeg bliver mindet om min fejl,
jeg bliver mindet om min fejl,
02:41
and I regret that mistake deeply.
39
149021
2273
og jeg fortryder den fejl inderligt.
02:45
In 1998, after having been swept up
into an improbable romance,
into an improbable romance,
40
153404
6622
I 1998, efter at have blevet fejet op
af en usandsynlig romance,
af en usandsynlig romance,
02:52
I was then swept up into the eye
of a political, legal and media maelstrom
of a political, legal and media maelstrom
41
160026
5462
blev jeg fejet op i øjet af en
politisk, juridisk, mediestorm,
politisk, juridisk, mediestorm,
02:57
like we had never seen before.
42
165488
4047
ulig noget vi havde set før.
03:01
Remember, just a few years earlier,
43
169535
2342
Husk på, at få år tidligere
03:03
news was consumed from just three places:
44
171877
3002
kom nyhederne kun fra tre steder:
03:06
reading a newspaper or magazine,
45
174879
2672
aviser og magasiner,
03:09
listening to the radio,
46
177551
1835
radioen
03:11
or watching television.
47
179386
1618
eller tv.
03:13
That was it.
48
181004
1300
Det var det.
03:14
But that wasn't my fate.
49
182304
3955
Men det var ikke min skæbne.
03:18
Instead, this scandal was brought to you
50
186259
3622
I stedet blev skandalen bragt til jer
03:21
by the digital revolution.
51
189881
2400
i en digital revolution.
03:24
That meant we could access
all the information we wanted,
all the information we wanted,
52
192281
3707
Det betød at vi kunne tilgå
al den information, vi ville,
al den information, vi ville,
03:27
when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere,
53
195988
4295
når vi ville have det, på
alle tidspunkter, alle steder,
alle tidspunkter, alle steder,
03:32
and when the story broke in January 1998,
54
200283
4690
og da historien slap ud i januar 1998,
03:36
it broke online.
55
204973
2786
slap den ud online.
03:39
It was the first time the traditional news
56
207759
3001
Det var første gang,
de traditionelle nyheder
de traditionelle nyheder
03:42
was usurped by the Internet
for a major news story,
for a major news story,
57
210760
4523
blev tilranet af internettet
for en stor nyhedshistorie,
for en stor nyhedshistorie,
03:47
a click that reverberated
around the world.
around the world.
58
215283
4221
et klik der genlød i hele verden.
03:52
What that meant for me personally
59
220484
2438
Hvad, det betød for mig personligt,
03:54
was that overnight I went
from being a completely private figure
from being a completely private figure
60
222922
5118
var, at jeg natten over gik fra
at være en helt privat person
at være en helt privat person
04:00
to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.
61
228040
5447
til at være en offentligt ydmyget
person over hele verden.
person over hele verden.
04:05
I was patient zero
of losing a personal reputation
of losing a personal reputation
62
233487
4295
Jeg var patient zero for at miste
mit personlige omdømme
mit personlige omdømme
04:09
on a global scale almost instantaneously.
63
237782
4556
på en global skala næsten øjeblikkeligt.
04:15
This rush to judgment,
enabled by technology,
enabled by technology,
64
243588
2339
Denne forhastede konklusion,
muliggjort af teknologi,
muliggjort af teknologi,
04:17
led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.
65
245927
4115
ledte til horder af virtuelle stenkastere.
04:22
Granted, it was before social media,
66
250042
3059
Givet, det var før det sociale medier,
04:25
but people could still comment online,
67
253101
3552
men folk kunne stadig kommentere online,
04:28
email stories, and, of course,
email cruel jokes.
email cruel jokes.
68
256653
6228
email-historier, og selvfølgelig
grusomme email-jokes.
grusomme email-jokes.
04:34
News sources plastered
photos of me all over
photos of me all over
69
262881
3089
Nyhedskilder smed om sig med fotos af mig
04:37
to sell newspapers, banner ads online,
70
265970
3784
for at sælge aviser, bannerreklamer online
04:41
and to keep people tuned to the TV.
71
269754
2539
og for at få folk til
at stille sig ind på tv.
at stille sig ind på tv.
04:45
Do you recall a particular image of me,
72
273913
3549
Genkalder I er bestemt billede af mig,
04:49
say, wearing a beret?
73
277462
2462
lad os sige, hvor jeg har en baret på?
04:53
Now, I admit I made mistakes,
74
281224
2995
Jeg indrømmer, at jeg begik fejl,
04:56
especially wearing that beret.
75
284219
2868
især mens jeg havde den baret på.
05:00
But the attention and judgment
that I received, not the story,
that I received, not the story,
76
288267
4289
Men opmærksomheden og dommene
jeg modtog, ikke historien,
jeg modtog, ikke historien,
05:04
but that I personally received,
was unprecedented.
was unprecedented.
77
292556
4364
men som jeg personligt
modtog, var et fortilfælde.
modtog, var et fortilfælde.
05:08
I was branded as a tramp,
78
296920
3159
Jeg blev stemplet som en vagabond,
05:12
tart, slut, whore, bimbo,
79
300079
6548
dulle, tøjte, luder, sæk,
05:18
and, of course, that woman.
80
306627
2778
og selvfølgelig; den kvinde.
05:22
I was seen by many
81
310455
2765
Jeg blev set af mange,
05:25
but actually known by few.
82
313220
3388
men rigtigt kendt af få.
05:28
And I get it: it was easy to forget
83
316608
3578
Og jeg forstår det godt:
Det var nemt at glemme,
Det var nemt at glemme,
05:32
that that woman was dimensional,
84
320186
2601
at den kvinde havde dimensioner,
05:34
had a soul, and was once unbroken.
85
322787
3968
havde en sjæl. og på et
tidspunkt var ubeskadiget.
tidspunkt var ubeskadiget.
05:41
When this happened to me 17 years ago,
there was no name for it.
there was no name for it.
86
329505
4899
Da det her skete for mig for 17 år siden,
var der ikke noget navn for det.
var der ikke noget navn for det.
05:46
Now we call it cyberbullying
and online harassment.
and online harassment.
87
334404
4397
Nu kalder vi det cybermobning
og online chikane.
og online chikane.
05:52
Today, I want to share
some of my experience with you,
some of my experience with you,
88
340421
3496
I dag vil jeg gerne dele noget
af min oplevelse med jer,
af min oplevelse med jer,
05:55
talk about how that experience has helped
shape my cultural observations,
shape my cultural observations,
89
343917
4434
tale om hvordan den oplevelse har hjulpet
med at forme mine kulturelle observationer
med at forme mine kulturelle observationer
06:00
and how I hope my past experience
can lead to a change that results
can lead to a change that results
90
348351
4852
og hvordan jeg håber at min fortidige
oplevelse kan føre til forandringer,
oplevelse kan føre til forandringer,
06:05
in less suffering for others.
91
353203
2438
der resulterer i mindre lidelse for andre.
06:10
In 1998, I lost my reputation
and my dignity.
and my dignity.
92
358221
5273
I 1998 mistede jeg mit
omdømme og min værdighed.
omdømme og min værdighed.
06:15
I lost almost everything,
93
363494
3500
Jeg mistede næsten alt,
06:18
and I almost lost my life.
94
366994
3111
og jeg mistede næsten mit liv.
06:24
Let me paint a picture for you.
95
372905
2394
Lad mig give jer de store linjer.
06:29
It is September of 1998.
96
377319
3547
Der er september i 1998.
06:32
I'm sitting in a windowless office room
97
380866
2686
Jeg sidder i et kontorværelse uden vinduer
06:35
inside the Office
of the Independent Counsel
of the Independent Counsel
98
383552
3064
i Kontoret for det Uafhængige Råd
06:38
underneath humming fluorescent lights.
99
386616
4435
under brummende fluorescerende lys.
06:43
I'm listening to the sound of my voice,
100
391051
3831
Jeg lytter til lyden af min stemme,
06:46
my voice on surreptitiously
taped phone calls
taped phone calls
101
394882
3738
min stemme fra skjult
optagne telefonsamtaler,
optagne telefonsamtaler,
06:50
that a supposed friend
had made the year before.
had made the year before.
102
398620
3136
som en formodet ven havde
foretaget et år tidligere.
foretaget et år tidligere.
06:53
I'm here because
I've been legally required
I've been legally required
103
401756
3575
Jeg er her, fordi jeg
er juridisk forpligtet
er juridisk forpligtet
06:57
to personally authenticate
all 20 hours of taped conversation.
all 20 hours of taped conversation.
104
405331
5863
til personligt at godkende
alle 20 timer optaget samtale.
alle 20 timer optaget samtale.
07:05
For the past eight months,
the mysterious content of these tapes
the mysterious content of these tapes
105
413194
3987
De sidste 8 måneder har det
mystiske indhold af disse optagelser
mystiske indhold af disse optagelser
07:09
has hung like the Sword
of Damocles over my head.
of Damocles over my head.
106
417181
3948
hængt som damoklessværdet over mit hoved.
07:13
I mean, who can remember
what they said a year ago?
what they said a year ago?
107
421129
4086
Jeg mener, hvem kan huske,
hvad de sagde for et år siden?
hvad de sagde for et år siden?
07:17
Scared and mortified, I listen,
108
425215
4088
Bange og sønderknust lyttede jeg,
07:23
listen as I prattle on
about the flotsam and jetsam of the day;
about the flotsam and jetsam of the day;
109
431013
4542
lyttede som jeg ævlede løs
om alt tænkeligt;
om alt tænkeligt;
07:27
listen as I confess my love
for the president,
for the president,
110
435555
3871
lyttede som jeg tilstod min
kærlighed til præsidenten.
kærlighed til præsidenten.
07:31
and, of course, my heartbreak;
111
439426
3379
og selvfølgelig mine hjertesorger;
07:34
listen to my sometimes catty,
sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self
sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self
112
442805
4818
lyttede til mit nogen gange spydige,
nogen gange ubehøvlede, fjollede selv
nogen gange ubehøvlede, fjollede selv
07:39
being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth;
113
447623
4719
være grusom, utilgivende, ubehøvlet;
07:45
listen, deeply, deeply ashamed,
114
453262
2859
lyttede dybt, dybt skamfuldt
07:48
to the worst version of myself,
115
456121
2684
til den værste side af mig selv,
07:50
a self I don't even recognize.
116
458805
3512
et selv jeg ikke engang genkender.
07:56
A few days later, the Starr Report
is released to Congress,
is released to Congress,
117
464537
4122
Nogle få dage senere blev Starr-
raporten udgivet til kongressen,
raporten udgivet til kongressen,
08:00
and all of those tapes and transcripts,
those stolen words, form a part of it.
those stolen words, form a part of it.
118
468659
5111
og alle disse optagelser og afskrifter,
disse stjålne ord, tog del i det.
disse stjålne ord, tog del i det.
08:06
That people can read the transcripts
is horrific enough,
is horrific enough,
119
474790
4171
At folk kan læse
afskrifterne er slemt nok.
afskrifterne er slemt nok.
08:10
but a few weeks later,
120
478961
2747
men nogle få uger senere
08:13
the audio tapes are aired on TV,
121
481708
3297
blev lydoptagelserne sendt på tv.
08:17
and significant portions
made available online.
made available online.
122
485005
3586
og en betydelig mængde blev
gjort tilgængelige online.
gjort tilgængelige online.
08:22
The public humiliation was excruciating.
123
490661
4584
Den offentlige ydmygelse var ulidelig.
08:27
Life was almost unbearable.
124
495245
3463
Livet var næsten uudholdeligt.
08:32
This was not something that happened
with regularity back then in 1998,
with regularity back then in 1998,
125
500938
5116
Det her var ikke noget, der
skete ofte tilbage i 1998,
skete ofte tilbage i 1998,
08:38
and by this, I mean the stealing
of people's private words, actions,
of people's private words, actions,
126
506054
5782
og med det her mener jeg at stjæle
folks private ord, handlinger,
folks private ord, handlinger,
08:43
conversations or photos,
127
511836
2623
samtaler eller fotos,
08:46
and then making them public --
128
514459
2579
og gøre dem offentlige -
08:49
public without consent,
129
517038
2437
offentlige uden samtykke,
08:51
public without context,
130
519475
2462
offentlige uden kontekst,
08:53
and public without compassion.
131
521937
2594
og offentlige uden medfølelse.
08:58
Fast forward 12 years to 2010,
132
526091
3090
Spol 12 år frem til år 2010,
09:01
and now social media has been born.
133
529181
3157
og sociale medier er blevet født.
09:05
The landscape has sadly become much
more populated with instances like mine,
more populated with instances like mine,
134
533158
5032
Desværre er landskabet blevet befolket
med langt flere tilfælde som mit,
med langt flere tilfælde som mit,
09:10
whether or not someone
actually make a mistake,
actually make a mistake,
135
538190
3018
lige meget om nogen
begik en fejl eller ej,
begik en fejl eller ej,
09:13
and now it's for both public
and private people.
and private people.
136
541208
5712
og nu gælder det både
offentlige og private personer.
offentlige og private personer.
09:18
The consequences for some
have become dire, very dire.
have become dire, very dire.
137
546920
4929
Konsekvenserne for nogle har
været frygtelige, meget frygtelige
været frygtelige, meget frygtelige
09:25
I was on the phone with my mom
138
553799
2548
Jeg talte telefon med min mor
09:28
in September of 2010,
139
556347
2717
i september 2010,
09:31
and we were talking about the news
140
559064
1857
og vi snakkede om nyheden om
09:32
of a young college freshman
from Rutgers University
from Rutgers University
141
560921
2792
en ung førsteårsstuderende
fra Rutgers University
fra Rutgers University
09:35
named Tyler Clementi.
142
563713
2153
kaldet Tyler Clementi.
09:38
Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler
143
566656
3148
Søde, følsomme, kreative Tyler
09:41
was secretly webcammed by his roommate
144
569804
2379
var hemmeligt blevet filmet
af sin værelseskammerat
af sin værelseskammerat
09:44
while being intimate with another man.
145
572183
2773
mens han var intim med en anden mand.
09:48
When the online world
learned of this incident,
learned of this incident,
146
576826
2438
Da den online verden hørte om den episode,
09:51
the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited.
147
579264
3135
eksploderede latterliggørelsen
og cybermobningen.
og cybermobningen.
09:56
A few days later,
148
584079
1919
Nogle få dage senere
09:57
Tyler jumped from
the George Washington Bridge
the George Washington Bridge
149
585998
3716
sprang Tyler ud fra
George Wasington-broen
George Wasington-broen
10:01
to his death.
150
589714
1533
lige i døden.
10:03
He was 18.
151
591247
1947
Han var 18.
10:07
My mom was beside herself about
what happened to Tyler and his family,
what happened to Tyler and his family,
152
595644
4703
Min mor var ved siden af sig selv på grund
af det der skete for Tyler og familien,
af det der skete for Tyler og familien,
10:12
and she was gutted with pain
153
600347
2555
og hun var fyldt med smerte
10:14
in a way that I just couldn't
quite understand,
quite understand,
154
602902
3668
på en måde, jeg bare
ikke helt kunne forstå,
ikke helt kunne forstå,
10:18
and then eventually I realized
155
606570
2370
og til sidst indså jeg,
10:20
she was reliving 1998,
156
608940
2981
at hun genlevede 1998 -
10:23
reliving a time when she sat
by my bed every night,
by my bed every night,
157
611921
4033
genlevede en tid, hvor hun sad
hver aften ved min seng,
hver aften ved min seng,
10:30
reliving a time when she made me shower
with the bathroom door open,
with the bathroom door open,
158
618824
5973
genlevede en tid, hvor hun tvang mig til
at tage bad med badeværelsesdøren åben,
at tage bad med badeværelsesdøren åben,
10:36
and reliving a time
when both of my parents feared
when both of my parents feared
159
624797
4110
og genlevede en tid, hvor begge
mine forældre frygtede,
mine forældre frygtede,
10:40
that I would be humiliated to death,
160
628907
2950
at jeg ville blive skammet til døde,
10:43
literally.
161
631857
2312
bogstaveligt talt.
10:48
Today, too many parents
162
636339
2947
I dag har alt for mange forældre
10:51
haven't had the chance to step in
and rescue their loved ones.
and rescue their loved ones.
163
639286
3342
ikke haft chancen for at træde til
og redde deres elskede.
og redde deres elskede.
10:54
Too many have learned
of their child's suffering and humiliation
of their child's suffering and humiliation
164
642628
4181
For mange har hørt om deres
børns lidelser og ydmygelse,
børns lidelser og ydmygelse,
10:58
after it was too late.
165
646809
2565
efter det var for sent.
11:01
Tyler's tragic, senseless death
was a turning point for me.
was a turning point for me.
166
649944
4597
Tylers tragiske, meningsløse død
var et vendepunkt for mig.
var et vendepunkt for mig.
11:06
It served to recontextualize
my experiences,
my experiences,
167
654541
4041
Det satte mine erfaringer i ny kontekst,
11:10
and I then began to look at the world
of humiliation and bullying around me
of humiliation and bullying around me
168
658582
4295
og jeg begyndte at se på verden af
ydmygelse og mobning omkring mig
ydmygelse og mobning omkring mig
11:14
and see something different.
169
662877
3483
og se noget anderledes.
11:18
In 1998, we had no way of knowing
where this brave new technology
where this brave new technology
170
666360
5224
I 1998 havde vi ingen idé om,
hvor denne modige, nye teknologi
hvor denne modige, nye teknologi
11:23
called the Internet would take us.
171
671584
2670
kaldet internettet, ville tage os.
11:26
Since then, it has connected people
in unimaginable ways,
in unimaginable ways,
172
674254
4208
Siden da har det forbundet folk
på utænkelige måder,
på utænkelige måder,
11:30
joining lost siblings,
173
678462
1917
sammenført søskende,
11:32
saving lives, launching revolutions,
174
680379
4071
reddet liv, startet revolutioner,
11:36
but the darkness, cyberbullying,
and slut-shaming that I experienced
and slut-shaming that I experienced
175
684450
4850
men det mørke af cyber-mobning og
slut-shaming, jeg oplevede
slut-shaming, jeg oplevede
11:41
had mushroomed.
176
689300
2505
har eksploderet.
11:45
Every day online, people,
especially young people
especially young people
177
693145
4700
Hver dag online bliver folk,
især unge folk,
især unge folk,
11:49
who are not developmentally
equipped to handle this,
equipped to handle this,
178
697845
2927
der ikke er udviklingsmæssigt
i stand til at klare det,
i stand til at klare det,
11:52
are so abused and humiliated
179
700772
2532
så misbrugt og ydmygede,
11:55
that they can't imagine living
to the next day,
to the next day,
180
703304
2692
at de ikke forestille sig
at leve til den næste dag.
at leve til den næste dag.
11:57
and some, tragically, don't,
181
705996
3149
Og nogle gør på tragisk vis heller ikke,
12:01
and there's nothing virtual about that.
182
709145
2756
og der er intet virtuelt ved det.
12:05
ChildLine, a U.K. nonprofit that's focused
on helping young people on various issues,
on helping young people on various issues,
183
713551
6077
ChildLine, en nonprofit-organisation,
fokuseret på at hjælp unge,
fokuseret på at hjælp unge,
12:11
released a staggering statistic
late last year:
late last year:
184
719628
3681
offentliggjorde en rystende
statistik sidste år:
statistik sidste år:
12:15
From 2012 to 2013,
185
723309
3621
Fra 2012 til 2013
12:18
there was an 87 percent increase
186
726930
3274
var der en 87 procents stigning
12:22
in calls and emails related
to cyberbullying.
to cyberbullying.
187
730204
4876
i opkald og emails relateret
til cyver-mobning.
til cyver-mobning.
12:27
A meta-analysis done
out of the Netherlands
out of the Netherlands
188
735080
2182
En metaanalyse fra Holland
12:29
showed that for the first time,
189
737262
1995
viste at, for første gang
12:31
cyberbullying was leading
to suicidal ideations
to suicidal ideations
190
739257
5042
var cyber-mobning den hyppigste
årsag til selvmordstanker,
årsag til selvmordstanker,
12:36
more significantly than offline bullying.
191
744299
3900
mere signifikant end offline-mobning.
12:40
And you know what shocked me,
although it shouldn't have,
although it shouldn't have,
192
748199
3761
Og det, der chokerede mig,
selvom det ikke burde,
selvom det ikke burde,
12:43
was other research last year
that determined humiliation
that determined humiliation
193
751960
3937
var en anden undersøgelse sidste år,
der fastlagde, at ydmygelse
der fastlagde, at ydmygelse
12:47
was a more intensely felt emotion
194
755897
2998
var en endnu mere intenst følt følelse
12:50
than either happiness or even anger.
195
758895
4060
end både glæde og selv vrede.
12:56
Cruelty to others is nothing new,
196
764305
3185
Grusomhed overfor andre er intet nyt,
12:59
but online, technologically
enhanced shaming is amplified,
enhanced shaming is amplified,
197
767490
6380
men online, teknologisk forbedret
beskæmmelse er forstærket,
beskæmmelse er forstærket,
13:05
uncontained, and permanently accessible.
198
773870
5317
ukontrollabelt og permanent tilgængeligt.
13:11
The echo of embarrassment used to extend
only as far as your family, village,
only as far as your family, village,
199
779187
5690
Ekkoet af forlegenhed plejede at
stoppe ved din familie, landsby,
stoppe ved din familie, landsby,
13:16
school or community,
200
784877
2344
skole eller samfund,
13:19
but now it's the online community too.
201
787221
3878
men nu er det også det online samfund.
13:23
Millions of people, often anonymously,
202
791099
2842
Millioner af folk kan, ofte anonymt,
13:25
can stab you with their words,
and that's a lot of pain,
and that's a lot of pain,
203
793941
3993
slå dig med deres ord, og det er meget smerte,
13:29
and there are no perimeters
around how many people
around how many people
204
797934
3136
og der er ingen grænse på
hvor mange folk,
hvor mange folk,
13:33
can publicly observe you
205
801070
2088
der offentligt kan observere dig
13:35
and put you in a public stockade.
206
803158
3419
og putte dig i en offentlig gabestok.
13:39
There is a very personal price
207
807717
2469
Der er en meget personlig pris
13:42
to public humiliation,
208
810186
2114
på offentlig ydmygelse,
13:45
and the growth of the Internet
has jacked up that price.
has jacked up that price.
209
813130
5771
og internettets vækst har
sendt den pris i vejret.
sendt den pris i vejret.
13:51
For nearly two decades now,
210
819841
2427
I næsten to årtier nu
13:54
we have slowly been sowing the seeds
of shame and public humiliation
of shame and public humiliation
211
822268
4118
har vi langsomt plantet frøene
af skam og offentlig ydmygelse
af skam og offentlig ydmygelse
13:58
in our cultural soil,
both on- and offline.
both on- and offline.
212
826386
5821
i vores kulturelle jord,
både on- og offline.
både on- og offline.
14:04
Gossip websites, paparazzi,
reality programming, politics,
reality programming, politics,
213
832207
4898
Sladder-sider, paparazzi,
reality-serier, politik,
reality-serier, politik,
14:09
news outlets and sometimes hackers
all traffic in shame.
all traffic in shame.
214
837105
5836
nyhedskanaler og nogle gange
hackere lever alle på skam.
hackere lever alle på skam.
14:14
It's led to desensitization
and a permissive environment online
and a permissive environment online
215
842941
4218
Det har ført til et ufølsomt
og et uansvarligt miljø online,
og et uansvarligt miljø online,
14:19
which lends itself to trolling,
invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.
invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.
216
847159
6362
som er velegnet til trolling,
invadering af privatliv, og cyber-mobning.
invadering af privatliv, og cyber-mobning.
14:25
This shift has created
what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls
what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls
217
853521
3785
Dette skifte har skabt, hvad
professer Nicolaus Mills kalder,
professer Nicolaus Mills kalder,
14:29
a culture of humiliation.
218
857306
3784
en kultur af ydmygelse.
14:33
Consider a few prominent examples
just from the past six months alone.
just from the past six months alone.
219
861090
5179
Overvej nogle få fremtrædende eksempler
fra de sidste seks måneder alene.
fra de sidste seks måneder alene.
14:38
Snapchat, the service which is used
mainly by younger generations
mainly by younger generations
220
866269
5084
Snapchat, servicen brugt primært
af de yngre generationer,
af de yngre generationer,
14:43
and claims that its messages
only have the lifespan
only have the lifespan
221
871353
2695
der påstår dets beskeder kun eksisterer
14:46
of a few seconds.
222
874048
1703
i nogle få sekunder.
14:47
You can imagine the range
of content that that gets.
of content that that gets.
223
875751
3410
Man kan forestille sig
omfanget af indhold i det.
omfanget af indhold i det.
14:51
A third-party app which Snapchatters
use to preserve the lifespan
use to preserve the lifespan
224
879161
4133
En tredjepartsapp, som Snapchattere
bruger til at opretholde levetiden
bruger til at opretholde levetiden
14:55
of the messages was hacked,
225
883294
2694
af beskederne, blev hacket,
14:57
and 100,000 personal conversations,
photos, and videos were leaked online
photos, and videos were leaked online
226
885988
6850
og 100.000 personlige samtaler,
fotos og videoer blev lækket online
fotos og videoer blev lækket online
15:04
to now have a lifespan of forever.
227
892838
4257
til nu at eksistere der for evigt.
15:09
Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors
had their iCloud accounts hacked,
had their iCloud accounts hacked,
228
897095
4156
Jennifer Lawrence og flere andre skue-
spillere fik deres iCloud-konti hackede,
spillere fik deres iCloud-konti hackede,
15:13
and private, intimate, nude photos
were plastered across the Internet
were plastered across the Internet
229
901251
3947
og private, intime, nøgenfotos
blev spredt over hele nettet
blev spredt over hele nettet
15:17
without their permission.
230
905198
1882
uden deres tilladelse.
15:19
One gossip website
had over five million hits
had over five million hits
231
907080
4132
Én sladerhjemmeside havde
over fem millioner hits
over fem millioner hits
15:23
for this one story.
232
911212
2575
for denne ene historie alene.
15:27
And what about the Sony Pictures
cyberhacking?
cyberhacking?
233
915027
3499
Hvad med Sony Pictures-hackningen?
15:30
The documents which received
the most attention
the most attention
234
918526
2997
De dokumenter, der fik mest opmærksomhed,
15:33
were private emails that had
maximum public embarrassment value.
maximum public embarrassment value.
235
921523
6036
var private emails, der havde den
største offentlige pinligheds-værdi.
største offentlige pinligheds-værdi.
15:39
But in this culture of humiliation,
236
927559
3250
Men i denne kultur af ydmygelse
15:42
there is another kind of price tag
attached to public shaming.
attached to public shaming.
237
930809
4090
er der et anden slags prisskilt
tilknyttet offentlig ydmygelse.
tilknyttet offentlig ydmygelse.
15:47
The price does not measure
the cost to the victim,
the cost to the victim,
238
935639
3158
Prisen måles ikke efter
ofrenes omkostninger,
ofrenes omkostninger,
15:50
which Tyler and too many others,
239
938797
2253
som Tyler og alt for mange andre,
15:53
notably women, minorities,
240
941050
1974
navnligt kvinder, minoriteter,
15:55
and members of the LGBTQ
community have paid,
community have paid,
241
943024
4178
og folk i LGBTQ-samfundet har betalt,
15:59
but the price measures the profit
of those who prey on them.
of those who prey on them.
242
947202
4556
men den måles i profit hos dem,
der er på rov efter dem.
der er på rov efter dem.
16:04
This invasion of others is a raw material,
243
952868
4063
Invasionen af andre er råmateriale,
16:08
efficiently and ruthlessly mined,
packaged and sold at a profit.
packaged and sold at a profit.
244
956931
5990
der effektivt og nådesløst er udvundet,
pakket og solgt med fortjeneste.
pakket og solgt med fortjeneste.
16:14
A marketplace has emerged
where public humiliation is a commodity
where public humiliation is a commodity
245
962921
5782
Et marked er opstået, hvor
offentlig ydmygelse er en råvare,
offentlig ydmygelse er en råvare,
16:20
and shame is an industry.
246
968703
3344
og skam er en industri.
16:24
How is the money made?
247
972047
3692
Hvordan bliver pengene tjent?
16:27
Clicks.
248
975739
1834
Klik.
16:29
The more shame, the more clicks.
249
977573
2531
Jo mere skam, jo flere klik.
16:32
The more clicks,
the more advertising dollars.
the more advertising dollars.
250
980104
3854
Jo flere klik, jo flere reklamepenge.
16:37
We're in a dangerous cycle.
251
985428
2205
Vi er i en farlig cyklus.
16:39
The more we click on this kind of gossip,
252
987633
2925
Jo mere vi klikker på
den her slags sladder,
den her slags sladder,
16:42
the more numb we get
to the human lives behind it,
to the human lives behind it,
253
990558
3721
des mere følelsesløse bliver vi
overfor menneskelivene bag det,
overfor menneskelivene bag det,
16:46
and the more numb we get,
the more we click.
the more we click.
254
994279
5456
og jo mere følelsesløse
vi bliver, des mere klikker vi.
vi bliver, des mere klikker vi.
16:51
All the while, someone is making money
255
999735
2923
Samtidig er der nogen, der tjener penge
16:54
off of the back
of someone else's suffering.
of someone else's suffering.
256
1002658
2883
baseret på en andens lidelser.
16:58
With every click, we make a choice.
257
1006871
2803
Med hvert et klik tager vi et valg.
17:01
The more we saturate our culture
with public shaming,
with public shaming,
258
1009674
3412
Jo mere vi gennemvæder vores
kultur med offentlig ydmygelse,
kultur med offentlig ydmygelse,
17:05
the more accepted it is,
259
1013086
1859
jo mere accepteret det bliver,
17:06
the more we will see behavior
like cyberbullying,
like cyberbullying,
260
1014945
3203
des mere vil vi se en opførelse
ligesom cyber-mobning,
ligesom cyber-mobning,
17:10
trolling, some forms of hacking,
261
1018148
2647
trolling, nogle former for hacking
17:12
and online harassment.
262
1020795
2926
og online chikane.
17:15
Why? Because they all have
humiliation at their cores.
humiliation at their cores.
263
1023721
7708
Hvorfor? Fordi de alle har
ydmygelse i deres kerne.
ydmygelse i deres kerne.
17:23
This behavior is a symptom
of the culture we've created.
of the culture we've created.
264
1031429
4296
Denne opførelse er et symptom
på den kultur, vi har skabt.
på den kultur, vi har skabt.
17:27
Just think about it.
265
1035725
2307
Tænk over det.
17:31
Changing behavior begins
with evolving beliefs.
with evolving beliefs.
266
1039232
3412
At ændre opførsel begynder
med at udvikle tro.
med at udvikle tro.
17:34
We've seen that to be true
with racism, homophobia,
with racism, homophobia,
267
1042644
3506
Det er bevist sandt ved
racisme, homofobi,
racisme, homofobi,
17:38
and plenty of other biases,
today and in the past.
today and in the past.
268
1046150
3950
og mange andre fordomme,
i dag og i fortiden.
i dag og i fortiden.
17:42
As we've changed beliefs
about same-sex marriage,
about same-sex marriage,
269
1050910
3158
Som vi ændrede opfattelse af
homoseksuelles ægteskab,
homoseksuelles ægteskab,
17:46
more people have been
offered equal freedoms.
offered equal freedoms.
270
1054068
4482
er flere personer blevet
tilbudt ligelige friheder.
tilbudt ligelige friheder.
17:50
When we began valuing sustainability,
271
1058550
2183
Da vi begyndte at værdsætte bæredygtighed,
17:52
more people began to recycle.
272
1060733
2948
begyndte flere personer at genbruge.
17:55
So as far as our culture
of humiliation goes,
of humiliation goes,
273
1063681
3275
Så når det kommer til
vores kultur af ydmygelse,
vores kultur af ydmygelse,
17:58
what we need is a cultural revolution.
274
1066956
3645
har vi brug for en kulturel revolution.
18:02
Public shaming
as a blood sport has to stop,
as a blood sport has to stop,
275
1070601
3923
Offentlig ydmygelse som en
blodssport bliver nødt til at ophøre,
blodssport bliver nødt til at ophøre,
18:06
and it's time for an intervention
on the Internet and in our culture.
on the Internet and in our culture.
276
1074524
4877
og det er tid til en indgriben
i vores kultur og vores internet.
i vores kultur og vores internet.
18:11
The shift begins with something simple,
but it's not easy.
but it's not easy.
277
1079401
3676
Ændringen begynder med noget
simpelt, men det er ikke nemt.
simpelt, men det er ikke nemt.
18:16
We need to return to a long-held value
of compassion -- compassion and empathy.
of compassion -- compassion and empathy.
278
1084137
6635
Vi bliver nødt til at vende tilbage til
gamle værdier af medfølelse og empati.
gamle værdier af medfølelse og empati.
18:22
Online, we've got a compassion deficit,
279
1090772
3187
Online har vi et underskud af medfølelse,
18:25
an empathy crisis.
280
1093959
2062
en empati-krise.
18:29
Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote,
281
1097091
3904
Forsker, Brené Brown,
sagde, og jeg citerer:
sagde, og jeg citerer:
18:32
"Shame can't survive empathy."
282
1100995
3576
"Skam kan ikke overleve empati."
18:36
Shame cannot survive empathy.
283
1104571
4444
Skam kan ikke overleve empati.
18:42
I've seen some very dark days in my life,
284
1110515
3621
Jeg har set nogle meget
mørke dage i mit liv,
mørke dage i mit liv,
18:46
and it was the compassion and empathy
from my family, friends, professionals,
from my family, friends, professionals,
285
1114136
6061
og det var medfølelsen og empatien
fra min familie, venner, branchefolk,
fra min familie, venner, branchefolk,
18:52
and sometimes even strangers
that saved me.
that saved me.
286
1120197
4076
og nogle gange endda fremmede,
der reddede mig.
der reddede mig.
18:57
Even empathy from one person
can make a difference.
can make a difference.
287
1125583
3545
Selv empati fra en enkelt person
kan gøre en forskel.
kan gøre en forskel.
19:02
The theory of minority influence,
288
1130318
2673
Teorien om minoritetsindflydelse,
19:04
proposed by social psychologist
Serge Moscovici,
Serge Moscovici,
289
1132991
3204
foreslået af social psykolog,
Serge Moscovici,
Serge Moscovici,
19:08
says that even in small numbers,
290
1136195
2786
foreskriver at selv i mindre tal,
19:10
when there's consistency over time,
291
1138981
2252
når der er konsistens over tid,
19:13
change can happen.
292
1141233
2601
sker der forandring.
19:15
In the online world,
we can foster minority influence
we can foster minority influence
293
1143834
3227
I den online verden kan vi
pleje minoritetsindflydelse
pleje minoritetsindflydelse
19:19
by becoming upstanders.
294
1147061
2427
ved at blive en 'modståer'.
19:21
To become an upstander means
instead of bystander apathy,
instead of bystander apathy,
295
1149488
3726
At blive en modståer betyder,
at i stedet for tilskuerpassivitet,
at i stedet for tilskuerpassivitet,
19:25
we can post a positive comment for someone
or report a bullying situation.
or report a bullying situation.
296
1153214
5238
kan vi opslå positive opslag for nogen
eller rapportere en mobningssituation.
eller rapportere en mobningssituation.
19:30
Trust me, compassionate comments
help abate the negativity.
help abate the negativity.
297
1158452
4153
Tro mig, medfølende kommentarer
hjælper med at nedtone negativiteten.
hjælper med at nedtone negativiteten.
19:35
We can also counteract the culture
by supporting organizations
by supporting organizations
298
1163385
3808
Vi kan også gå imod kulturen
ved at støtte organisationer,
ved at støtte organisationer,
19:39
that deal with these kinds of issues,
299
1167193
2276
der arbejder med disse problemer,
19:41
like the Tyler Clementi
Foundation in the U.S.,
Foundation in the U.S.,
300
1169469
2808
som the Tyler Clementi Foundation i USA.
19:44
In the U.K., there's Anti-Bullying Pro,
301
1172277
2811
I Storbritannien er der Anti-Bullying Pro,
19:47
and in Australia, there's Project Rockit.
302
1175088
3592
og i Australien er der Project Rockit.
19:52
We talk a lot about our right
to freedom of expression,
to freedom of expression,
303
1180350
5807
Vi taler meget om vores
ret til ytringsfrihed,
ret til ytringsfrihed,
19:58
but we need to talk more about
304
1186157
2025
men vi skal tale mere om
20:00
our responsibility
to freedom of expression.
to freedom of expression.
305
1188182
3554
vores ansvar i forbindelse
med ytringsfrihed.
med ytringsfrihed.
20:03
We all want to be heard,
306
1191736
2739
Vi har alle lyst til at blive hørt,
20:06
but let's acknowledge the difference
between speaking up with intention
between speaking up with intention
307
1194475
4783
men lad os anerkende forskellen mellem
at råbe op med intention
at råbe op med intention
20:11
and speaking up for attention.
308
1199258
3116
og at råbe for opmærksomhed.
20:15
The Internet is
the superhighway for the id,
the superhighway for the id,
309
1203684
3538
Internettet er supermotorvejen for id'et,
20:19
but online, showing empathy to others
310
1207222
3158
men online yder det,
at vise empati for andre,
at vise empati for andre,
20:22
benefits us all and helps create
a safer and better world.
a safer and better world.
311
1210380
5550
en fordel for os alle og hjælper med
at skabe en sikrere og bedre verden.
at skabe en sikrere og bedre verden.
20:27
We need to communicate
online with compassion,
online with compassion,
312
1215930
3204
Vi bliver nødt til at kommunikere
online med medfølsomhed,
online med medfølsomhed,
20:31
consume news with compassion,
313
1219134
2461
tage nyheder til os med medfølsomhed,
20:33
and click with compassion.
314
1221595
2694
og klikke med medfølsomhed.
20:36
Just imagine walking a mile
in someone else's headline.
in someone else's headline.
315
1224289
4634
Bare forestil dig at gå 10 km
i en andens overskrift.
i en andens overskrift.
20:43
I'd like to end on a personal note.
316
1231476
2985
Jeg vil gerne slutte af med
en personlig bemærkning.
en personlig bemærkning.
20:47
In the past nine months,
317
1235561
2090
I de sidste ni måneder
20:49
the question I've been
asked the most is why.
asked the most is why.
318
1237651
3524
er det spørgsmål, jeg er blevet
stillet mest, hvorfor.
stillet mest, hvorfor.
20:53
Why now? Why was I
sticking my head above the parapet?
sticking my head above the parapet?
319
1241175
4018
Hvorfor nu? Hvorfor har jeg stukket
mit hoved over fæstningen?
mit hoved over fæstningen?
20:57
You can read between the lines
in those questions,
in those questions,
320
1245193
2517
Man kan læse mellem linjerne
i disse spørgsmål,
i disse spørgsmål,
20:59
and the answer has nothing
to do with politics.
to do with politics.
321
1247710
3849
og svaret har intet at gøre med politik.
21:03
The top note answer was and is
because it's time:
because it's time:
322
1251559
5607
Topsvaret var og er,
fordi det er tid:
fordi det er tid:
21:09
time to stop tip-toeing around my past;
323
1257166
2707
Tid til at stoppe med at undgå min fortid;
21:11
time to stop living a life of opprobrium;
324
1259873
3242
tid til at stoppe med at
leve et liv af ukvemsord;
leve et liv af ukvemsord;
21:15
and time to take back my narrative.
325
1263115
3234
og tid til at tilbagetage min fortælling.
21:18
It's also not just about saving myself.
326
1266349
4845
Det handler ikke bare om,
at redde mig selv.
at redde mig selv.
21:23
Anyone who is suffering from shame
and public humiliation
and public humiliation
327
1271194
3413
Hvem som helst, der lider af skam
og offentlig ydmygelse,
og offentlig ydmygelse,
21:26
needs to know one thing:
328
1274607
2787
har brug for at vide én ting:
21:29
You can survive it.
329
1277394
2717
Du kan overleve det.
21:32
I know it's hard.
330
1280111
2763
Jeg ved, det er svært.
21:34
It may not be painless, quick or easy,
331
1282874
3631
Det er måske ikke smertefrit,
hurtigt eller nemt,
hurtigt eller nemt,
men du kan insistere på
en anden slutning til din historie.
en anden slutning til din historie.
21:38
but you can insist
on a different ending to your story.
on a different ending to your story.
332
1286505
4676
Hav medfølelse med dig selv.
21:43
Have compassion for yourself.
333
1291181
3367
Vi fortjener alle medfølelse,
21:46
We all deserve compassion,
334
1294548
3088
21:49
and to live both online and off
in a more compassionate world.
in a more compassionate world.
335
1297636
6199
og til at leve både online og offline
i en mere medfølende verden.
i en mere medfølende verden.
Tak for at lytte.
21:55
Thank you for listening.
336
1303835
2600
21:58
(Applause)
337
1306435
10380
(Bifald)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Monica Lewinsky - Social activistMonica Lewinsky advocates for a safer and more compassionate social media environment, drawing from her unique experiences at the epicenter of a media maelstrom in 1998.
Why you should listen
After becoming the focus of the history-changing federal investigation into her private life, Monica Lewinsky found herself, at 24 years old, one of the first targets of a “culture of humiliation”: a now-familiar cycle of media, political and personal harassment – particularly online.
Lewinsky survived to reclaim her personal narrative. During a decade of silence she received her Masters in Social Psychology from the London School of Economics and Political Science. In 2014, Lewinsky returned to the public eye with an acclaimed essay for Vanity Fair, which has been nominated for a National Magazine Award for best Essay Writing, and with a widely viewed speech at Forbes’ 30 Under 30 Summit.
Monica Lewinsky | Speaker | TED.com