Mandy Len Catron: Falling in love is the easy part
Many Len Catron: Zamilovať sa je tá ľahšia časť
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
in January of this year.
Times, v rubrike Moderná láska.
nasledovné.“
is about a psychological study
in the laboratory,
romantickej lásky v laboratóriu
trying the study myself
noci minulého leta,
36 increasingly personal questions
kladú 36 stále osobnejších otázok
having gained any one quality or ability,
zobudiť s akoukoľvek schopnosťou,
in front of another person?
pred inou osobou
get more personal as they go along.
osobné.
what you like about them;
na ňom páči.
to someone you just met.
nepovedali osobe, ktorú ste práve stretli.
a few years earlier,
pred niekoľkými rokmi,
that two of the participants
to the ceremony.
manufacturing romantic love,
romantickej lásky,
to try this study myself,
sama si túto štúdiu vyskúšať
but not particularly well,
ale nie práve najlepšie,
do seba zamilovali a –
so I sent it to the Modern Love column
príbeh, tak som to o niekoľko mesiacov
are probably wondering,
že niektorí z vás premýšľajú,
you might be wondering this
for the past seven months.
what I want to talk about today.
naozaj chcem rozprávať.
on a book about love stories
about my own experiences
o mojich vlastných
a couple hundred views at the most,
pár stoviek ľudí –
just my Facebook friends,
priatelia na Facebooku –
in the New York Times
v New York Times
niekoľko tisíc pozretí.
nemala ani páru.
to the traffic on my blog.
so sledovanosťou môjho blogu.
and Good Morning America had called.
Today Show aj Good Morning America.
would receive over 8 million views,
vyše 8 miliónov pozretí,
the confidence to write honestly
na úprimné písanie
has made international news --
do medzinárodných správ,
that people across the world
in the status of your new relationship.
vášho vzťahu.
which they did every day for weeks,
čo robili každý deň niekoľko týždňov,
„Ste stále spolu?“
popped up immediately.
a pýtali sa to.
shouted up to the stage,
a jedna žena zakričala
is part of the deal.
in an international newspaper,
napíšete o svojom vzťahu,
to feel comfortable asking about it.
ľudia budú pýtať.
for the scope of the response.
rozsiahlu reakciu.
to have taken on a life of their own.
žiť svoj vlastný život.
published a follow-up article
nadväzujúci článok
of trying the study themselves,
pri skúšaní štúdie na vlastnej koži,
in the face of all of this attention
na všetku túto pozornosť
of my own relationship.
for the two of us
aby sme sa spoločne
for photos of the two us.
na fotografovanie nás dvoch.
for the process of falling in love,
zamilovania,
feel qualified for.
necítila byť kompetentná.
if the study worked,
či štúdia funguje,
of producing love that would last,
ktorá by pretrvala,
sustainable love.
udržateľnú lásku.
I didn't feel capable of answering.
necítila byť schopná odpovedať.
was only a few months old,
the wrong question in the first place.
pýtajú nesprávne.
we were still together really tell them?
of doing these 36 questions
36 otázkami
about these questions
o otázkach
was not to produce romantic love.
vytvorenie romantickej lásky.
among college students,
personalistic self-disclosure."
osobnostné sebaotvorenie“.
did feel closer after doing it,
navzájom si bližší,
used Aron's fast friends protocol
využilo Aronov protokol rýchlych priateľov
trust and intimacy between strangers.
a intimity medzi cudzími ľuďmi.
of the police and members of community,
polície či komunít
of opposing political ideologies.
s protichodnými politickými ideológiami.
with four minutes of eye contact,
so štvorminútovým očným kontaktom,
nebola nikdy publikovaná.
and it didn't work."
a nefungovalo to.“
with the person you did it with?" I asked.
skúsil, ste sa nezamilovali?“ pýtam sa.
better friends?" I asked.
pýtala som sa.
know each other after doing the study?"
ste sa naozaj spoznali lepšie?“
he was looking for.
po ktorej pátral.
that any of us are looking for
ktorú by hocikto z nás hľadal,
a really difficult breakup.
ťažkým rozchodom.
since I was 20,
I could make a life without him.
bez neho dokážem žiť.
about the science of romantic love,
o problematike romantickej lásky,
somehow inoculate me from heartache.
mohlo nejako vyliečiť môj zármutok.
this at the time --
for this book I was writing --
pre knihu, ktorú som písala –
sa mi to zdá úplne jasné.
with the knowledge of romantic love,
o romantickej láske,
as terrible and lonely as I did then.
tak príšerne a osamelo ako vtedy.
has been useful in some ways.
spôsobom zišli.
I am more relaxed.
Som uvoľnenejšia.
about asking for what I want.
is sometimes more
by the person I love indefinitely.
bude milovať navždy.
existencie takejto záruky
if we were still together.
about the 36 questions
a shortcut to falling in love.
k zamilovaniu.
mitigate some of the risk involved,
ako zmierniť riziko, čo s tým súvisí.
že niekoho milujete,
do provide a mechanism
ponúkajú mechanizmus,
ako sa nechať spoznať.
that most of us really want from love:
väčšina z nás od lásky chce:
the short version of the story.
krátku verziu príbehu.
"Are you still together?"
„Ste stále spolu?“
some more difficult questions,
when things get difficult,
veci skomplikujú,
when to just cut and run?
skrátka skončiť a utiecť?
into every relationship,
do každého vzťahu,
the answers to these questions,
na všetky tieto otázky,
at having a more thoughtful conversation
pre hlbšiu konverzáciu
of my relationship is this:
môjho vzťahu je takáto:
and I did a study
vyskúšali štúdiu,
the same thing as staying in love.
ako zostať zamilovaný.
"Love didn't happen to us.
„Láska sa nám neprihodila.
made the choice to be."
lebo sme sa tak rozhodli.“
when I read that now,
keď to teraz čítam,
I really hadn't considered
in that choice.
rozhodnutí obsiahnuté.
we would each have to make that choice,
ho budeme musieť urobiť,
to have to make that choice
tejto voľby pokračovať
he will always choose me.
či si aj on vždy vyberie mňa.
and answered 36 questions,
a odpovedať na 36 otázok
so generous and kind and fun
takého veľkodušného, láskavého a vtipného
in the biggest newspaper in America.
novinách Ameriky.
is turn my relationship
I don't quite believe in.
I will spend my life wanting,
možno strávim celý život,
implied by the title to my article,
v nadpise môjho článku,
that I didn't actually write.
v skutočnosti nenapísala.
to make the choice to love someone,
rozhodnúť sa milovať niekoho
to love me back,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Mandy Len Catron - WriterMandy Len Catron explores love stories.
Why you should listen
Originally from Appalachian Virginia, Mandy Len Catron is a writer living and working in Vancouver, British Columbia. Her book How to Fall in Love with Anyone, is available for preorder on Amazon. Catron's writing has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Walrus, as well as literary journals and anthologies. She writes about love and love stories at The Love Story Project and teaches English and creative writing at the University of British Columbia. Her article "To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This" was one of the most popular articles published by the New York Times in 2015.
Mandy Len Catron | Speaker | TED.com