James Veitch: The agony of trying to unsubscribe
James Veitch: De lijdensweg van het proberen uit te schrijven
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
and she told me this story
dat ik compleet vergeten was.
forgotten about
she would pull the car over,
stopte ze soms
gotten out of the car,
to let me out of the car,
om mij eruit te laten,
I used to play with myself
dat ik met mezelf speelde
I was bored or frustrated.
ik mij verveelde of gefrustreerd was.
of information overload. Right?
in een tijd van teveel informatie.
teveel marketing e-mails krijg.
too many marketing emails.
from a supermarket firm,
van een supermarkt,
and it went like this, it said:
en die ging als volgt:
at King's Cross opens!!!"
bij King's Cross opent!!!"
signing up to that,
dat ik me daarop ingeschreven had,
that they appear to think
dat ze denken dat ik blij ben
about a shop opening.
to the bottom of the email,
I got another one that said,
kreeg ik nog een e-mail:
I haven't clicked hard enough.
ik heb niet hard genoeg geklikt.
you guessed it,
at King's Cross opens!!!"
bij King's Cross opent!!!"
matter in this world
about supermarket chains
over supermarktketens
a strongly worded email,
een boze e-mail terugschrijven,
a guy called Dan said,
mij te helpen met jouw vraag."
to help me with your query."
een springkasteel..."
excited about the opening!"
enthousiast over de opening!"
the bouncy castle or shall I?"
of doe ik het?"
dat je het niet begrijpt."
but there is no celebration planned."
maar er is geen feest gepland."
until,' 'Two weeks until' emails?
castle was non-refundable."
wordt niet terugbetaald."
a few hundred quid, Dan."
zijn we enkele honderdjes kwijt."
for anything you have ordered."
niets aan doen dat jij iets hebt besteld."
over wie wat deed.
are in this together."
to make sure people take their shoes off?"
dat mensen hun schoenen uitdoen?"
with Dan deteriorated somewhat,
met Dan er wat op achteruit,
your Case Number is ..."
je kenmerk is ..."
this is ... -- and I, I ....
All I'm doing is collecting case numbers.
Al wat ik doe is kenmerken verzamelen.
why there was no bouncy castle."
afgevraagd waar het springkasteel was."
the end of the story,
van het verhaal kunnen zijn,
that anything -- everything --
as getting out of a car,
als uit een auto komen,
een spel van maakt.
your Case Number is #0000001.]
je kenmerk is # 0000001.]
it was quite labor-intensive,
was het heel arbeidsintensief
auto-replier program.
autoreply-programma voor e-mail.
it receives an email from SafeMart,
ik een e-mail van SafeMart kreeg,
your Case Number is ..."
je kenmerk is ..."
to up the case number every time.
dat het nummer telkens verhoogd wordt.
a number of emails going back and forth.
verzonden en ontvangen.
sense of satisfaction to know
van tevredenheid
elkaar zullen blijven mailen
are just going to be pinging one another
I don't think that's bad.
is dat nog zo slecht niet.
by the bureaucracy
gebukt te gaan onder de bureaucratie
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com