James Veitch: The agony of trying to unsubscribe
James Veitch: Utrpení při odhlašování e-mailů
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
and she told me this story
Vyprávěla mi historku,
forgotten about
she would pull the car over,
a ona zaparkovala,
gotten out of the car,
to let me out of the car,
I used to play with myself
kterou jsem hrával sám se sebou,
I was bored or frustrated.
když jsem měl roupy.
of information overload. Right?
přehlcené informacemi, že?
too many marketing emails.
příliš mnoho reklamních e-mailů.
from a supermarket firm,
z řetězce supermarketů,
and it went like this, it said:
ve kterém bylo něco jako:
at King's Cross opens!!!"
otevírá už za tři týdny!!!“
signing up to that,
že bych se k něčemu takovému přihlásil,
that they appear to think
že si očividně mysleli,
about a shop opening.
může vůbec zajímat.
to the bottom of the email,
I got another one that said,
mi ale přišel druhý e-mail:
I haven't clicked hard enough.
že jsem neklikl důrazně.
you guessed it,
a modří už vědí:
at King's Cross opens!!!"
otevírá už za týden!!!“
matter in this world
about supermarket chains
a strongly worded email,
„Dobrá, napíšu velmi rozčilený e-mail,“
a guy called Dan said,
Týpek jménem Dan napsal:
aby mi s tvým dotazem pomohl.“
to help me with your query."
„Co je v plánu, Dane?
excited about the opening!"
neskutečně těším!“
the bouncy castle or shall I?"
nebo to mám udělat já?“
but there is no celebration planned."
ale neplánujeme žádnou oslavu.“
until,' 'Two weeks until' emails?
Už za tři týdny, Už za dva týdny?
castle was non-refundable."
je stejně nevratná.“
a few hundred quid, Dan."
přijdeme o pár stovek, Dane.“
for anything you have ordered."
zodpovědnost za nic, co jste objednal.“
are in this together."
to make sure people take their shoes off?"
aby si lidi sundali boty?“
with Dan deteriorated somewhat,
se poněkud zhoršil.
your Case Number is ..."
Vaše referenční číslo je…“
this is ... -- and I, I ....
All I'm doing is collecting case numbers.
Sbíral jsem pouhá čísla.
why there was no bouncy castle."
že tam nebyl skákací hrad!“
the end of the story,
that anything -- everything --
že cokoli – naprosto cokoli –
as getting out of a car,
jako je vystupování z auta,
když z toho uděláte hru.
Vaše referenční číslo je #0000001.]
your Case Number is #0000001.]
it was quite labor-intensive,
manuálně dost náročné.
auto-replier program.
automatický odpovídač.
it receives an email from SafeMart,
your Case Number is ..."
Vaše referenční číslo je…“
to up the case number every time.
který pokaždé navýšil referenční číslo.
a number of emails going back and forth.
vyměnili spoustu e-mailů.
sense of satisfaction to know
are just going to be pinging one another
hrají ten svůj ping pong.
I don't think that's bad.
že by to bylo špatné.
by the bureaucracy
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com