ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sheryl Sandberg - COO, Facebook
As the COO at the helm of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg juggles the tasks of monetizing the world’s largest social networking site while keeping its users happy and engaged.

Why you should listen

Long before Sheryl Sandberg left Google to join Facebook as its Chief Operating Officer in 2008, she was a fan. Today she manages Facebook’s sales, marketing, business development, human resources, public policy and communications. It’s a massive job, but one well suited to Sandberg, who not only built and managed Google’s successful online sales and operations program but also served as an economist for the World Bank and Chief of Staff at the US Treasury Department. Sandberg’s experience navigating the complex and socially sensitive world of international economics has proven useful as she and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg work to strike a balance between helping Facebook users control privacy while finding ways to monetize its most valuable asset: data.

At TEDWomen in 2010 Sandberg made the bold decision to talk about the experience of being one of very few women at the C-level of business. She noted that many women, in anticipating having a family, "lean back" from leading at work. After her TED Talk took off, Sandberg wrote the book Lean In, which has spent nearly a year on the New York Times Bestseller list. Sandberg plans to release a version of the book for graduates.

More profile about the speaker
Sheryl Sandberg | Speaker | TED.com
TEDWomen 2010

Sheryl Sandberg: Why we have too few women leaders

शेरयल स्याण्डबर्ग: किन हामी संग थोरै महिला नेतृत्व छ

Filmed:
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फेसबुक प्रमुख कार्यकारी अधिकृत शेरयल स्याण्डबर्ग किन पुरुष को तुलनामा थोरै प्रतिशत मात्र महिलाहरु आफ्नो पेशा को उच्च तहमा पुग्छन भन्ने समिक्षा गर्छिन - र त्यो उच्च स्थान हासिल गर्ने लक्ष भएका महिलाहरुलाई तीन वटा उत्कृष्ठ सल्लाह प्रदान गर्छिन |
- COO, Facebook
As the COO at the helm of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg juggles the tasks of monetizing the world’s largest social networking site while keeping its users happy and engaged. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
So for any of us in this room today,
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आज यस सभामा उपस्थित हरेक को लागि
00:17
let's start out by admitting we're lucky.
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हामी भाग्यमानी छौ भन्ने स्वीकारोक्ति सहित सुरुवात गरौ |
00:20
We don't live in the world
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हामी त्यस्तो संसार मा बाँचेका छैनौ
00:22
our mothers lived in, our grandmothers lived in,
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जहाँ हाम्री आमा बाँचिन, जहाँ हाम्री हजुरआमा बाँचिन,
00:24
where career choices for women were so limited.
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जहाँ महिला हरुका लागि अवसरहरु सारै नै सिमित थिए |
00:27
And if you're in this room today,
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र यदी तपाई यो सभा मा हुन्हुन्न्छ भने,
00:29
most of us grew up in a world
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हामी मद्दे धेरै जना यस्तो संसार मा हुर्क्यौ
00:31
where we had basic civil rights,
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जहाँ हामी संग साधारण नागरिक अधिकार मात्र थियो |
00:34
and amazingly, we still live in a world
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र आश्चर्यजनक रूपमा हामी अझै पनि त्यो संसारमा बाँचेका छौ
00:36
where some women don't have them.
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जहाँ केहि महिला हरु संग तेही अधिकार पनि छैन
00:38
But all that aside, we still have a problem,
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तर यो सबै लाई एकातिर पन्छाउदा पनि, हामी संग एउटा समस्या छ,
00:40
and it's a real problem.
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र त्यो नै वास्तविक समस्या हो
00:42
And the problem is this:
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र त्यो समस्या हो:
00:44
Women are not making it
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महिलाहरु यो संसारको
00:46
to the top of any profession
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कुनै पनि ठाउँमा कुनै पनि पेशाको
00:48
anywhere in the world.
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उच्च तह सम्म पुगेका छैनन् |
00:50
The numbers tell the story quite clearly.
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संख्याहरुले यो कथा लाई प्रष्ट पार्छन् |
00:52
190 heads of state --
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१९० राज्य प्रमुख –
00:54
nine are women.
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नौ जना महिला
00:56
Of all the people in parliament in the world,
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संसारका सबै संसदका सांसदहरु -
00:58
13 percent are women.
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१३ प्रतिशत महिला छन् |
01:00
In the corporate sector,
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उद्योग बाणिज्य क्षेत्रमा,
01:02
women at the top,
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महिलाहरु उच्च तह,
01:04
C-level jobs, board seats --
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प्रमुख तथा संचालकको रूपमा –
01:06
tops out at 15, 16 percent.
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१५,१६ प्रतिशतमा सिमित छन्
01:09
The numbers have not moved since 2002
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संख्या सन् २००२ देखि यथावत छ
01:11
and are going in the wrong direction.
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र गलत दिशा तिर गैरहेको छ
01:14
And even in the non-profit world,
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नाफा रहित क्षेत्र,
01:16
a world we sometimes think of
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त्यस्तो क्षेत्र जसलाई हामी
01:18
as being led by more women,
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महिला द्वारा नेतृत भएको मान्यता राख्छौ,
01:20
women at the top: 20 percent.
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उच्च तहमा महिलाहरु – २० प्रतिशत
01:22
We also have another problem,
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हामी संग अर्को समस्या पनि छ,
01:24
which is that women face harder choices
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महिलाहरुले पेशागत सफलता र व्यक्तिगत परिपूर्णता
01:27
between professional success and personal fulfillment.
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को बिच छनौट अत्यन्त कठिन हुन्छ |
01:30
A recent study in the U.S.
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संयुक्त राज्य अमेरकामा हालसालै भएको अध्यनले
01:32
showed that, of married senior managers,
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यस्तो नतिजा देखाउंछ:
01:35
two-thirds of the married men had children
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विवाहित उच्च तहका प्रबन्धक मध्ये दुइ तिहाई विवाहित पुरुष का सन्तान थिए
01:38
and only one-third of the married women had children.
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भने जम्मा एक तिहाई विवाहित महिला का सन्तान थिए |
01:41
A couple of years ago, I was in New York,
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केहि वर्ष अघि म न्युयोर्क मा थिए,
01:43
and I was pitching a deal,
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एउटा कारोबार को सिलसिलामा,
01:45
and I was in one of those fancy New York private equity offices
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न्युयोर्कको एक झकिझकाउ प्राईवेट इक्विटी अफिसमा,
01:47
you can picture.
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तपाईहरु अन्दाज गर्न सक्नुहुन्छ |
01:49
And I'm in the meeting -- it's about a three-hour meeting --
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म बैठक मा छु – लगभग तीन घन्टाको बैठक,
01:52
and two hours in, there kind of needs to be that bio break,
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र दुइ घण्टा पछि, एउटा बिश्राम को जरुरी भयो,
01:55
and everyone stands up,
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र सबै जना उठ्छन,
01:57
and the partner running the meeting
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तर त्यो बैठक संचालन गरिरहेका साझेदार
01:59
starts looking really embarrassed.
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लज्जित देखिन्छन |
02:01
And I realized he doesn't know
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अनि मलाई महसुस भयो कि उनलाई आफ्नो
02:03
where the women's room is in his office.
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अफिस मा महिला शौचालय कहाँ छ भन्ने नै थाहा छैन |
02:05
So I start looking around for moving boxes,
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त्यसपछि म यसो यता-उता हेर्न थाल्छु,
02:07
figuring they just moved in, but I don't see any.
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भर्खर अफिस सरेको हो कि भनेर, तर अहँ म केहि संकेत देख्दिन |
02:10
And so I said, "Did you just move into this office?"
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अनि म सोध्छु, “के तपाई यहाँ भर्खर सर्नुभएको हो?”,
02:13
And he said, "No, we've been here about a year."
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उत्तर आउछ “हैन, हामी यहाँ करिब एक वर्ष देखि छौ”
02:16
And I said, "Are you telling me
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अनि मैले भने, “के तपाई यो भन्न खोज्दै हुनुहुन्छ कि
02:19
that I am the only woman
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यो एक वर्षमा म मात्र एक महिला हो
02:21
to have pitched a deal in this office in a year?"
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जो यो अफिस मा कारोबार को लागि आयो?”
02:24
And he looked at me, and he said,
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उहाले मलाई हेर्नुभयो र भन्नुभयो,
02:26
"Yeah. Or maybe you're the only one who had to go to the bathroom."
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“हो | अथवा तपाई मात्र यस्तो महिला हो जसलाई शौचालय जान पर्यो |”
02:29
(Laughter)
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(हाँसो)
02:31
So the question is,
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अब प्रश्न आउछ,
02:33
how are we going to fix this?
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यो समस्यालाई हामी कसरी समाधान गर्न सक्छौ?
02:36
How do we change these numbers at the top?
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कसरी यी शिर्षस्थानको संख्याहरु लाई परिवर्तन गर्न सक्छौ?
02:39
How do we make this different?
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कसरी यसलाई फरक बनाउछौँ?
02:42
I want to start out by saying,
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म यसो भनेर सुरुवात गर्न चाहन्छु,
02:44
I talk about this --
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म यसको बारेमा कुरा गर्छु –
02:46
about keeping women in the workforce --
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महिलालाई कार्यदस्ता मा राखिरहने –
02:48
because I really think that's the answer.
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किनकि मलाई साँचिकै लाग्छ यहि नै त्यो समस्या को समाधान हो |
02:50
In the high-income part of our workforce,
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हाम्रो कार्यदस्ताको त्यो उच्च आय वर्गमा,
02:52
in the people who end up at the top --
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ती व्यक्तिहरु जो उच्च तहमा पुग्छन् –
02:55
Fortune 500 CEO jobs,
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भाग्यमानी ५०० कार्यकारी अधिकृत
02:57
or the equivalent in other industries --
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अथवा अन्य उध्योगमा सो सरह को पदमा,
03:00
the problem, I am convinced,
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त्यो समस्या, जसमा म विश्वस्त छु,
03:02
is that women are dropping out.
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त्यो के हो भने महिलाहरु निस्क्रिय भैरहेका छन्
03:04
Now people talk about this a lot,
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आजकल मानिसहरु यसको बारेमा धेरै कुरा गर्छन,
03:06
and they talk about things like flextime and mentoring
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र उनिहरु कुरा गर्छन् लचिलो कार्य समय र सल्लाह को,
03:08
and programs companies should have to train women.
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र कम्पनि संग हुन पर्ने महिलाहरुको लागि तालिम कार्यक्रमहरु बारेमा |
03:11
I want to talk about none of that today,
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म आज यो बारेमा केहि कुरा गर्दिन –
03:13
even though that's all really important.
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यधपी यी सब सांचिकै महत्वपूर्ण छन् |
03:15
Today I want to focus on what we can do as individuals.
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आज म हामीले व्यक्तिगत रूपमा गर्न सक्ने कार्य मा केन्द्रित गर्न चाहन्छु |
03:18
What are the messages we need to tell ourselves?
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हामीले आफुलाई दिन पर्ने सन्देश हरु के के हुन् त ?
03:21
What are the messages we tell the women who work with and for us?
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हामीले हामीसंग र हाम्रा लागि काम गर्ने महिलाहरुलाइ दिने सन्देश हरु के के हुन् त ?
03:24
What are the messages we tell our daughters?
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हामीले हाम्रा छोरी हरु लाई दिने संदेश के के हुन् त ?
03:26
Now, at the outset, I want to be very clear
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अहिले सुरुवात मै म यो कुरामा प्रस्ट हुन चाहन्छु
03:28
that this speech comes with no judgments.
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कि यो प्रस्तुति कुनै मुल्यांकन गरिने छैन |
03:31
I don't have the right answer.
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म संग कुनै सहि उत्तर छैन,
03:33
I don't even have it for myself.
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म मेरा आफ्नै लागि पनि छैन |
03:35
I left San Francisco, where I live, on Monday,
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मैले सोमबार सान-फ्रान्सिस्को, मेरो बासस्थान, छाडे,
03:38
and I was getting on the plane for this conference.
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र म यो सभामा आउन को लागि प्लेन चड्दै थिए |
03:40
And my daughter, who's three, when I dropped her off at preschool,
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मेरी छोरी, जो तीन वर्षकी छे, उसलाई मैले शिशु-विध्यालय मा छाड्ने बेलामा
03:43
did that whole hugging-the-leg,
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मलाई रोक्नको लागि मेरो खुट्टालाई अंकमाल गर्दै
03:45
crying, "Mommy, don't get on the plane" thing.
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र रुदै भनि, “मम्मी, प्लेनमा नचड्नुस”
03:47
This is hard. I feel guilty sometimes.
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यो ज्यादै गार्हो छ | म कहिले काहीं आफैलाई दोषी महसुस गर्छु |
03:50
I know no women,
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मलाई थाहा छ कुनै पनि त्यस्ता महिला छैनन् ,
03:52
whether they're at home or whether they're in the workforce,
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जो घरमा हुन् अथवा कार्यदस्तामा हुन्,
03:54
who don't feel that sometimes.
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र जसले कुनै न कुनै समय यस्तो महसुस नगरेका हुन् |
03:56
So I'm not saying that staying in the workforce
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त्यसैले म कार्यदस्ता मा रहनु नै सबैको लागि
03:59
is the right thing for everyone.
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सहि कुरा हो भनेर भनिरहेकी छैन |
04:01
My talk today is about what the messages are
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मेरो आजको यो प्रस्तुति “यदि तपाईहरु
04:04
if you do want to stay in the workforce,
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कार्यदस्ता मा रहन चाहानुहुन्छ मेरा संदेश हरु के-के छन् त” भन्ने बारेमा हुनेछ
04:06
and I think there are three.
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र मलाई लाग्छ म संग तीनवटा संदेशहरु छन् |
04:08
One, sit at the table.
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पहिलो, टेबलमा बस्नुस |
04:11
Two, make your partner a real partner.
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दोस्रो, तपाई आफ्नो जिवनसाथी लाई साच्चीकै जिवनसाथी बनाउनुहोस |
04:14
And three, don't leave before you leave.
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र तेस्रो – साँच्चिकै छाड्नु अघि नछाड्नुस् |
04:18
Number one: sit at the table.
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एक नंबर: टेबलमा बस्नुस्
04:20
Just a couple weeks ago at Facebook,
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केहि हप्ता अघि मात्र अघि फेसबुकमा,
04:22
we hosted a very senior government official,
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एक उच्च सरकारी अधिकारी लाई आमन्त्रित गरेका थियौं,
04:25
and he came in to meet with senior execs
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उनि सिलिकन भ्याली क्षेत्र वरपरका उच्च
04:27
from around Silicon Valley.
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कार्यकारीहरु संग भेट गर्न आएका थिए |
04:30
And everyone kind of sat at the table.
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सबै जना टेबल मा बसेका थिए |
04:32
And then he had these two women who were traveling with him
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अनि उनीसंग केहि महिलाहरु थिए जो उनीसंगै सहभागी हुन आएका थिए
04:35
who were pretty senior in his department,
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र उनको विभाग का उच्च पद मै थिए |
04:37
and I kind of said to them, "Sit at the table. Come on, sit at the table,"
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अनि मैले एक प्रकारले भने “टेबलमा बस्नुस्, ल न टेबलमा बस्नुस्” |
04:40
and they sat on the side of the room.
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र उनिहरु कोठा को एक छेउ मा बसे |
04:43
When I was in college my senior year,
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जब म कलेजको अन्तिम वर्ष मा थिएँ,
04:45
I took a course called European Intellectual History.
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मैले युरोपको बौद्धिक इतिहास को एउटा कक्षा लिएको थिए |
04:48
Don't you love that kind of thing from college?
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के तपाईलाई कलेजमा त्यस्तो कुरा मन पर्दैन?
04:50
I wish I could do that now.
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म चाहन्छु कि म अहिलेपनि त्यस्तो कुरा पढ्न सकु |
04:52
And I took it with my roommate, Carrie,
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मैले त्यो कक्षा मेरो साथी क्यारी,
04:54
who was then a brilliant literary student --
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जो सो समय मा एकदमै तेज साहित्यिक बिद्यार्थी थिईन
04:56
and went on to be a brilliant literary scholar --
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र पछि गएर एक तेज साहित्यिक बुद्धिजीवी भईन,
04:58
and my brother --
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र मेरो भाई,
05:00
smart guy, but a water-polo-playing pre-med,
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एकदम स्मार्ट तर वाटर-पोलो खेल्ने
05:02
who was a sophomore.
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स्नातक दोस्रो बर्ष को बिध्यार्थी संगै पढेको थिएँ |
05:04
The three of us take this class together.
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हामी तिनै जना संगै कक्षा लिन्थ्यौ |
05:06
And then Carrie reads all the books
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क्यारी ले सबै पुस्तकहरु
05:08
in the original Greek and Latin,
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मौलिक ग्रीक र ल्याटिन मा पढ्छिन –
05:10
goes to all the lectures.
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सबै कक्षा मा जान्छिन –
05:12
I read all the books in English
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म सबै पुस्तक अंग्रेजीमा पढ्छु
05:14
and go to most of the lectures.
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र धेरै जसो कक्षामा जान्छु |
05:16
My brother is kind of busy.
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मेरो भाई अलि व्यस्त छ,
05:18
He reads one book of 12
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उ १२ कक्षा को एउटा पुस्तक पढ्छ
05:20
and goes to a couple of lectures,
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र केहि कक्षा मा जान्छ,
05:22
marches himself up to our room
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परिक्षा को केहि दिन अघि हाम्रो
05:24
a couple days before the exam to get himself tutored.
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कोठामा आउँछ सिक्नको लागि |
05:27
The three of us go to the exam together, and we sit down.
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हामी तिनै जना परीक्षा दिन संगै जान्छौँ
05:30
And we sit there for three hours --
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र परीक्षा हलमा बस्छौँ, तीन घण्टा सम्म,
05:32
and our little blue notebooks -- yes, I'm that old.
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हाम्रा साना निला पुस्तिका संग – हो म त्यति पुरानो जमाना कि हुँ |
05:35
And we walk out, and we look at each other, and we say, "How did you do?"
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हामी परीक्षा हल बाट बाहिर आउछौं र एक अर्कालाई हेर्छौं र सोध्छौं, “कस्तो भयो?”
05:38
And Carrie says, "Boy, I feel like I didn't really draw out the main point
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क्यारी भन्छिन, “उफ, मैले हेगेलियन तर्कको मुख्य बुंदा लाई राम्रो
05:41
on the Hegelian dialectic."
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चित्रण गर्न सकिन जस्तो लाग्छ” |
05:43
And I say, "God, I really wish I had really connected
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अनि म भन्छु, “हे भगवान मैले जोन लाकको सम्पति को सिद्धान्तलाई
05:46
John Locke's theory of property with the philosophers who follow."
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त्यस पछिका दार्शनिक हरु संग जोड्न सकेको भए |”
05:49
And my brother says,
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अनि मेरो भाई भन्छ,
05:51
"I got the top grade in the class."
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“मैले कक्षामा उत्कृष्ट अंक ल्याएँ”
05:55
"You got the top grade in the class?
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“कक्षामा उत्कृष्ट अंक?
05:57
You don't know anything."
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तिमीलाई केहि पनि त आउदैन”
06:00
The problem with these stories
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यी सबै कथाहरुमा समस्या के छ भने
06:02
is that they show what the data shows:
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तिनीहरुले त्यहि देखाउंछ जो तथ्यांक ले देखाउंछ:
06:05
women systematically underestimate their own abilities.
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महिलाहरु आफ्नो क्षमतालाई रीतपूर्वक नजरअन्दाज गर्छन् ।
06:08
If you test men and women,
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यदि तपाई पुरुष र महिला मा परिक्षण गर्नुहुन्छ,
06:10
and you ask them questions on totally objective criteria like GPAs,
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र उनीहरुलाई प्रस्न गर्नुहुन्छ जिपिए जस्तो पूर्ण रूपमा वस्तुगत आधारमा,
06:13
men get it wrong slightly high,
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पुरुषहरुले केहि बढी गलत गर्छन्
06:15
and women get it wrong slightly low.
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र महिलाहरुले केहि कम |
06:18
Women do not negotiate for themselves in the workforce.
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महिला हरु ले कार्यदस्ता मा आफ्नो लागि कहिले पनि मिलापत्र गर्दैनन् |
06:21
A study in the last two years
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कलेज बाट कार्यदस्तामा प्रवेश गर्ने व्यक्तिहरुमा
06:23
of people entering the workforce out of college
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बिगत दुई बर्षमा भएको एक अध्यनन ले
06:25
showed that 57 percent of boys entering,
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५७ प्रतिशत युवकहरु –
06:28
or men, I guess,
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अथवा पुरुषहरु सायद,
06:30
are negotiating their first salary,
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ले आफ्नो पहिलो तलबमा मिलापत्र द्वारा सम्झौता गर्छन्,
06:32
and only seven percent of women.
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महिलाहरु भने जम्मा सात प्रतिशत |
06:35
And most importantly,
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र महत्वपूर्ण रूपमा,
06:37
men attribute their success to themselves,
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पुरुषहरु आफ्नो सफलताको श्रेय आफैलाई दिन्छन,
06:40
and women attribute it to other external factors.
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र महिलाहरु अन्य बाह्य तत्वहरुलाई |
06:43
If you ask men why they did a good job,
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यदि तपाईले एक पुरुष लाई किन तपाईले राम्रो जागिर पाउनुभयो भनेर सोध्नु भयो भने ,
06:45
they'll say, "I'm awesome.
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उनीहरुले “किनकि म अत्यन्त राम्रो छु,
06:48
Obviously. Why are you even asking?"
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स्पस्ट छ, तपाई सोध्नुनै किन हुन्छ?”
06:51
If you ask women why they did a good job,
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यदि तपाई महिलालाई किन तपाईले राम्रो जागिर पाउनुभयो भनेर सोध्नु भयो भने,
06:53
what they'll say is someone helped them,
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उनीहरुले के भन्छन भने, उनीहरुलाई कसैले सहयोग गर्यो,
06:55
they got lucky, they worked really hard.
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उनिहरु भाग्यमानी थिए, उनीहरुले साँच्चिकै मेहेनत गरे |
06:57
Why does this matter?
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यसले किन अर्थ राख्छ त?
06:59
Boy, it matters a lot
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यसले धेरै अर्थ राख्छ
07:01
because no one gets to the corner office
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किनकि टेबल को सट्टा छेउ मा बसेर कसैले पनि
07:04
by sitting on the side, not at the table,
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कार्यालय मा महत्वपुर्ण ठाउँ पाउँदैन |
07:06
and no one gets the promotion
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र कसैले ले पनि बढुवा को अवसर पाउँदैन
07:08
if they don't think they deserve their success,
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उनिहरु आफ्नो सफलतामा आफ्नो हक मान्दैनन
07:11
or they don't even understand their own success.
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अथवा आफ्नै सफलता बुझ्दैनन् |
07:14
I wish the answer were easy.
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म कामना गर्छु उत्तर सजिलो भईदिए हुन्थ्यो |
07:16
I wish I could just go tell all the young women I work for,
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म कामना गर्छु, म भन्न सकु ति सबै कलिला महिलाहरु जसका लागि म काम गर्छु,
07:18
all these fabulous women,
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यी सबै उत्कृस्ट महिलाहरुलाई,
07:20
"Believe in yourself and negotiate for yourself.
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“आफुमा विश्वास राख र आफ्नो लागि सम्झौता गर |
07:22
Own your own success."
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आफ्नो सफलता लाई आफ्नो बनाऊ”
07:24
I wish I could tell that to my daughter.
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म कामना गर्छु म यो कुरा मेरी छोरी लाई भन्न सकुँ |
07:27
But it's not that simple.
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तर त्यो त्यति सजिलो छैन |
07:29
Because what the data shows, above all else, is one thing,
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किनकि यो भन्दा माथि रहेर तथ्यांकले एउटा कुरा देखाउछ,
07:32
which is that success and likeability
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त्यो के हो भने – सफलता र सद्गुण
07:34
are positively correlated for men
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पुरुषहरुको लागि धनात्मत रूपमा सम्बन्धित छन्
07:37
and negatively correlated for women.
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भने महिलाहरु को लागि ऋणात्मक रूपमा |
07:39
And everyone's nodding,
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सबैजनाले सहमति जनाईरहेका छन्
07:41
because we all know this to be true.
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किनकि हामी सबैलाई यो कुरा सत्य हो भन्ने थाहा छ |
07:43
There's a really good study that shows this really well.
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एउटा राम्रो अध्ययन पनि छ जसले यो तथ्य लाई राम्रोसंग प्रस्तुत गर्छ |
07:46
There's a famous Harvard Business School study
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यहाँ हार्वर्ड बाणिज्य अध्ययन बिभाग को एउटा प्रसिद्ध
07:48
on a woman named Heidi Roizen.
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हेइदी रोइज़न नामको अध्ययन छ |
07:50
And she's an operator in a company
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उनि सिलिकन भ्यालीको एक कम्पनीको
07:52
in Silicon Valley,
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एक संचालक हुन्,
07:54
and she uses her contacts
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र उनि आफ्नो सम्पर्क लाई प्रयोग गरेर
07:56
to become a very successful venture capitalist.
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एक सफल लगानीकर्ता भईन |
07:59
In 2002 -- not so long ago --
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सन् २००२ मा – खासै धेरै पहिला हैन –
08:01
a professor who was then at Columbia University
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कोलम्बिया विश्वविध्यालय का प्राध्यापकले
08:03
took that case and made it Howard Roizen.
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त्यो बिषयलाई लिए र “हवार्ड रोईज़न” बनाए |
08:06
And he gave the case out, both of them,
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अनि उनले त्यो बिषय – दुइवटै –
08:08
to two groups of students.
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विद्यार्थीका दुई समूहलाई दिए |
08:10
He changed exactly one word:
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उनले जम्मा एउटा शब्द परिवर्तन गरे :
08:12
"Heidi" to "Howard."
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“हेइदी” लाई “हवार्ड” मा |
08:14
But that one word made a really big difference.
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तर त्यो एक शब्द ले साच्चिकै ठुलो फरक पार्यो |
08:17
He then surveyed the students,
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अनि उनले विध्यार्थीको सर्वेक्षण गरे |
08:19
and the good news was the students, both men and women,
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र खुसीको कुरा के भने विध्यार्थिहरु, दुवै पुरुष र महिला,
08:22
thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent,
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ले हेइदी र हवार्ड दुवै उत्तिकै प्रतिस्पर्धी को रुप मा लिए,
08:24
and that's good.
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र त्यो राम्रो थियो |
08:26
The bad news was that everyone liked Howard.
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र दुःखको कुरा सबैजनाले हवार्डलाई मन पराए
08:28
He's a great guy. You want to work for him.
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उ एकदम राम्रो मान्छे हो, तपाई उसका लागि काम गर्न इच्छुक हुनुहुन्छ |
08:30
You want to spend the day fishing with him.
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तपाई उ संग पुरै दिन माछा मार्न जान सक्नुहुन्छ |
08:32
But Heidi? Not so sure.
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तर हेइदी? खासै केहि भन्न सक्नुहुन्न |
08:34
She's a little out for herself. She's a little political.
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उनि आफै भन्दा अलिक अलग छिन, उनि अलि राजनैतिक छिन |
08:37
You're not sure you'd want to work for her.
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तपाई आफैमा दृढ हुनुहुन्न उनका लागि काम गर्न इच्छुक हुनुहुन्छ कि हुनुहुन्न भन्ने कुरामा |
08:40
This is the complication.
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यो एक उल्झन हो |
08:42
We have to tell our daughters and our colleagues,
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हामीले हाम्रा छोरी र हाम्रा सहकर्मी हरु लाई भन्न पर्छ,
08:44
we have to tell ourselves to believe we got the A,
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हामीले आफैलाई भन्न पर्छ, आफुले ल्याएको उच्च अंक मा विश्वास गर्न,
08:46
to reach for the promotion,
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बढुवा को लागि पहुच बनाउन,
08:48
to sit at the table,
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र टेबलमा बस्न |
08:50
and we have to do it in a world
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र त्यो काम हामीले त्यो संसार मा गर्न पर्छ
08:52
where, for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that,
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जहाँ, उनीहरुको लागि, केहि त्यागहरु छ जो उनीहरुले गर्छन,
08:55
even though for their brothers, there are not.
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यध्यपी उनीहरुका दाजुभाइहरुलाई त्यो गर्न पर्दैन |
08:59
The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard to remember this.
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यो सबैमा सबैभन्दा दुःखको कुरा के भने यो कुरा सम्झिन सार्है गार्हो हुन्छ |
09:02
And I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me,
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म एउटा कथा भन्न लागिरहेको छु, जुन मेरा लागि लज्जास्पद छ,
09:05
but I think important.
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तर म महत्वपूर्ण मान्छु |
09:07
I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago
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मैले यो प्रस्तुति फेसबुक मा दिएको थिए, केहि समय पहिला,
09:10
to about 100 employees,
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करिब एक सय कर्मचारीहरु को अगाडि |
09:12
and a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there
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त्यसको केहि घण्टा पछि, एकजना महिला जो
09:15
sitting outside my little desk,
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मेरो कार्यकक्ष अगाडि बसेर काम गर्छिन,
09:17
and she wanted to talk to me.
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म संग कुरा गर्ने इच्छा व्यक्त गर्छिन |
09:19
I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked.
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मैले भने, हुन्छ, अनि उनि बसिन र हामीले कुरा गर्यौ |
09:21
And she said, "I learned something today.
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उनले भनिन, “आज मैले केहि सिके |
09:23
I learned that I need to keep my hand up."
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मैले आफ्नो हात उठाउन पर्ने रहेछ भन्ने कुरा सिके |"
09:25
I said, "What do you mean?"
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मैले सोधे, “के भनेको?”
09:27
She said, "Well, you're giving this talk,
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उनले भनिन, “तपाईले आफ्नो प्रस्तुति जारी राख्नुभएको थियो,
09:29
and you said you were going to take two more questions.
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अनि तपाईले भन्नुभयो थप दुइवटा प्रश्न लिन्छु भनेर |
09:31
And I had my hand up with lots of other people, and you took two more questions.
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अनि मेरो हात उठ्यो अरु धेरै मान्छे हरु संगै, र तपाईले थप दुईवटा प्रस्न लिनु भयो |
09:34
And I put my hand down, and I noticed all the women put their hand down,
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अनि मैले मेरो हात तल झरे, र अवलोकन गरे कि सबै महिलाहरुका हात तल थिए,
09:37
and then you took more questions,
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र तपाईले थप प्रश्नहरु लिनुभयो,
09:39
only from the men."
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मात्र पुरुषहरु बाट | "
09:41
And I thought to myself,
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अनि मैले सोचे,
09:43
wow, if it's me -- who cares about this, obviously --
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ओहो यदि म, जो यो कुरालाई अति महत्व दिन्छु,
09:46
giving this talk --
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यो प्रस्तुति दिदै गर्दा -
09:48
and during this talk, I can't even notice
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यो प्रस्तुति को बेलामा, म यति पनि अवलोकन गर्दिन
09:51
that the men's hands are still raised,
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कि पुरुषहरु का हातहरु उठेका छन्
09:54
and the women's hands are still raised,
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र महिलाहरुका हातहरु उठेका छन्
09:56
how good are we
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हामी कति असल छौ त
09:58
as managers of our companies and our organizations
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हाम्रा कम्पनि र संस्था का प्रबन्धक का रूपमा
10:00
at seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities
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महिलाहरु भन्दा पुरुषहरु अवसर को लागि
10:02
more than women?
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पहुँच पुर्याई रहेका छन् ?
10:04
We've got to get women to sit at the table.
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हामीले महिलालाई टेबल मा बस्ने बनाउन पर्छ |
10:07
(Applause)
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(ताली)
10:10
Message number two:
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संदेश नंबर दुई,
10:12
make your partner a real partner.
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तपाई आफ्नो जीवनसाथी लाई वास्तविक जीवनसाथी बनाउनुहोस
10:14
I've become convinced that we've made more progress in the workforce
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म यो कुरामा विस्वस्त छु कि हामीले कार्यदस्ता मा
10:17
than we have in the home.
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घरमा भन्दा धेरै प्रगति गरिसकेका छौं |
10:19
The data shows this very clearly.
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तथ्यांक ले यो कुरा प्रस्ट रूपमा देखाउँछ |
10:22
If a woman and a man work full-time
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यदि एक महिला र एक पुरुष दुवै पूर्णकालीन काम गर्छन
10:24
and have a child,
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र एउटा सन्तान छ भने,
10:26
the woman does twice the amount of housework the man does,
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त्यो महिला ले घरको काम पुरुषको भन्दा दुइगुणा बढि गर्छिन,
10:29
and the woman does three times
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र बच्चा को स्याहार
10:31
the amount of childcare the man does.
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तीनगुणा बढि गर्छिन |
10:34
So she's got three jobs or two jobs,
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त्यसकारण ती महिलासंग तीनवटा, अथवा दुइवटा काम छन्,
10:36
and he's got one.
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र पुरुष संग एउटा |
10:38
Who do you think drops out when someone needs to be home more?
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घरमा धेरै समय बस्न पर्ने भयो भने कसले चै आफ्नो काम छाड्छ होला जस्तो लाग्छ तपाईहरु लाई
10:41
The causes of this are really complicated,
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यो सबको कारण साच्चिकै उल्झनयुक्त छ,
10:43
and I don't have time to go into them.
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अहिले म संग त्यो बिषय मा प्रवेश गर्न समय छैन |
10:45
And I don't think Sunday football-watching
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र मलाई यो लाग्दैन कि आइतबार को फुटबल हेराई
10:47
and general laziness is the cause.
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र साधारण अल्छिपना यसको कारण हो |
10:49
I think the cause is more complicated.
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मलाई लाग्छ यसको कारण धेरै नै उल्झनयुक्त छ |
10:51
I think, as a society,
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मलाई लाग्छ, समाजको रूपमा,
10:53
we put more pressure on our boys to succeed
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हामी सफलता को लागि
10:55
than we do on our girls.
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केटी हरुमा भन्दा केटाहरूमा धेरै दवाब दिन्छौ |
10:57
I know men that stay home
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म आफ्नी श्रीमती लाई सहयोग गर्न घर बस्ने
10:59
and work in the home to support wives with careers,
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र घरमा काम गर्ने पुरुष हरुलाई चिन्छु
11:01
and it's hard.
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र त्यो गार्हो हुन्छ |
11:03
When I go to the Mommy-and-Me stuff
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जब म नानीहरुलाई खेलाउन बाहिर लैजान्छु,
11:05
and I see the father there,
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र एक जना पिता लाई देख्छु,
11:07
I notice that the other mommies
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म अवलोकन गर्छु कि अरु आमाहरु
11:09
don't play with him.
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त्यो पिता संग खेल्दैनन्
11:11
And that's a problem,
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र समस्या त्यहि हो,
11:13
because we have to make it as important a job,
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किनकि हामीले त्यसलाई अन्य काम जत्तिकै महत्वपूर्ण बनाउन पर्छ –
11:16
because it's the hardest job in the world to work inside the home,
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किनकि त्यो संसारको सबैभन्दा कठिन काम हो –
11:19
for people of both genders,
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दुवै लिङ्ग का मानिस हरुलाई घर भित्र काम गर्न,
11:21
if we're going to even things out and let women stay in the workforce.
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यदि हामी सबै कुरालाई सम्याएर लैजान र महिलालाई कर्यदस्तामा राखिरहन चाहन्छौं भने |
11:24
(Applause)
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(ताली)
11:26
Studies show that households with equal earning
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अध्ययन ले के देखाउंछ भने बराबर आम्दानी र बराबर जिम्मेवारी भएका घरहरुमा पनि छोडपत्र को दर आधा छ
11:28
and equal responsibility
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र बराबर जिम्मेवारी भएका घरहरुमा पनि
11:30
also have half the divorce rate.
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छोडपत्र को दर आधा छ
11:32
And if that wasn't good enough motivation for everyone out there,
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र त्यो उनीहरुलाई उत्प्रेरणा को लागि पर्याप्त भएन भने
11:35
they also have more --
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उनिहरु संग अझै छ –
11:37
how shall I say this on this stage? --
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म यो सभामा कसरि भनौ? –
11:39
they know each other more in the biblical sense as well.
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उनिहरु एक-अर्कालाई धार्मिक अर्थ मा पनि बढि जान्दछन्
11:42
(Cheers)
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(ताली)
11:44
Message number three:
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संदेश नंबर तीन:
11:46
don't leave before you leave.
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साँच्चिकै छाड्नु अघि नछाड्नुस् |
11:48
I think there's a really deep irony
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म गहिरो व्यंग देख्छु –
11:50
to the fact that actions women are taking --
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महिलाहरुले लिने एउटा कदम,
11:52
and I see this all the time --
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र त्यो सधै नै देख्छु -
11:54
with the objective of staying in the workforce
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कार्यदस्ता मा रहने उदेश्यका साथ,
11:57
actually lead to their eventually leaving.
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वास्तविकता मा त्यसले उनीहरुलाई वास्तविक अर्थ मा कार्यदस्ता बाट अलग गराउछ
11:59
Here's what happens:
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के हुन्छ त:
12:01
We're all busy. Everyone's busy. A woman's busy.
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हामी सबै व्यस्त छौं; सबै जना व्यस्त छन्, महिला पनि व्यस्त छिन |
12:03
And she starts thinking about having a child,
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अनि उनि सन्तान जन्माउने बारेमा सोच्न थाल्छिन |
12:06
and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child,
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उनले त्यो कुरा सोच्न थाल्ने वित्तिकै,
12:09
she starts thinking about making room for that child.
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त्यो सन्तान लाई स्थान बनाउने बारे सोच्न थाल्छिन |
12:11
"How am I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?"
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“म यसलाई आफुले अहिले गरिरहेको सबै कामहरु मा कसरी मिलाउन सक्छु?”
12:15
And literally from that moment,
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अनि एकप्रकार ले त्यही क्षण देखि,
12:17
she doesn't raise her hand anymore,
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उनि आफ्नो हात उठाउदिनन्,
12:20
she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new project,
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उनि बढुवा लाई प्राथमिकता दिन्नन, उनि कुनै पनि नया कार्ययोजना को जिम्मा लिन्नन्
12:23
she doesn't say, "Me. I want to do that."
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उनि भन्दिनन, “म, म त्यो काम गर्न चाहन्छु”
12:25
She starts leaning back.
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उनि पछाडि सर्न थाल्छिन |
12:27
The problem is that --
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समस्या के भने -
12:29
let's say she got pregnant that day, that day --
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मानौं उनि त्यो दिन गर्भवती भईन, त्यो दिन --
12:32
nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave,
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नौ महिना को गर्भावस्था, तीन महिनाको सुत्केरी बिदा,
12:35
six months to catch your breath --
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सबै कुरा मिलाउन छ महिना --
12:37
fast-forward two years,
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फटाफट कट्ने दुई वर्ष,
12:39
more often -- and as I've seen it --
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धेरै जसो – र मैले देखे जस्तो –
12:41
women start thinking about this way earlier --
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महिलाहरु यसबारेमा धेरै पहिला देखि सोच्न थाल्छन् -
12:43
when they get engaged, when they get married,
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जब उनिहरु विवाहको लागि प्रतिबद्ध हुन्छन्, जब उनिहरु विवाहित हुन्छन,
12:45
when they start thinking about trying to have a child, which can take a long time.
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जब उनिहरु सन्तान जन्माउने बारे सोच्न थाल्छन, जसले धेरै समय लिन सक्छ |
12:48
One woman came to see me about this,
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एकजना महिला मलाई यसबारेमा भेट्न आइन,
12:50
and I kind of looked at her -- she looked a little young.
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र मैले यसो हेरे – उनि अलि भर्खरकी देखिन्थिन |
12:52
And I said, "So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?"
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अनि मैले भने, “त्यसो भए तपाई र तपाई को श्रीमान सन्तान जन्माउने बारेमा सोच्दै हुनुहुन्छ?”
12:55
And she said, "Oh no, I'm not married."
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अनि उनले भनिन, “हैन, म अझै अविवाहित नै छु”
12:58
She didn't even have a boyfriend.
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उनि संग केटासाथी समेत थिएन |
13:00
I said, "You're thinking about this
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मैले भने, “तपाई यो बारेमा
13:02
just way too early."
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सारै छिटो सोचिरहनुभएको छ”
13:04
But the point is that what happens
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तर कुरा के भने तपाईले चुपचाप
13:07
once you start kind of quietly leaning back?
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पछाडि सरेर यो कार्य थाल्नुभयो भने के हुन्छ?
13:10
Everyone who's been through this --
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जो कोहि यसबाट गुज्रिनुभएको छ –
13:12
and I'm here to tell you, once you have a child at home,
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म तपाईहरुलाई भन्न चाहान्छु, जब तपाई संग घरमा एक सन्तान हुन्छ,
13:15
your job better be really good to go back,
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तपाईले फर्किनु नै उचित हुन्छ,
13:17
because it's hard to leave that kid at home --
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किनकि त्यो बच्चालाई घरमा छाड्न साह्रै गार्हो हुन्छ –
13:19
your job needs to be challenging.
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तपाईको काम चुनौतिपूर्ण हुनु पर्छ |
13:21
It needs to be rewarding.
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त्यो उपलब्धिमूलक हुनुपर्छ |
13:23
You need to feel like you're making a difference.
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तपाई आफुले मैले केहि पहिचान छाडिरहेको छु भन्ने महसुस गर्नुपर्छ |
13:26
And if two years ago you didn't take a promotion
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र यदि दुई बर्ष पहिले तपाईले बढुवा लिनुभएन
13:29
and some guy next to you did,
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तर तपाई संगैको अर्को कुनै पुरुष ले लियो,
13:31
if three years ago
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यदि तीन बर्ष पहिला
13:33
you stopped looking for new opportunities,
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तपाईले नयाँ अवसर खोज्न छाड्नुभयो,
13:35
you're going to be bored
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तपाई लाई निराश हुनसक्छ
13:37
because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal.
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किनकि तपाईले आफ्नो गाडीको एक्सिलेरेटर मा आफ्नो खुट्टा राखिरहनु पर्थ्यो |
13:40
Don't leave before you leave.
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साँचिकै छाड्नुपर्ने स्थिति आउनु अघि नछाड्नुस |
13:42
Stay in.
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आफ्नो काम मा रहिरहनुस |
13:44
Keep your foot on the gas pedal,
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एक्सिलेरेटर मा आफ्नो खुट्टा राखिरहनुस्,
13:46
until the very day you need to leave
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त्यो दिन सम्म जुन दिन देखि तपाईले
13:48
to take a break for a child --
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सन्तान को लागि विदा साच्चिकै लिनुपर्छ –
13:50
and then make your decisions.
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अनि बल्ल निर्णय लिनुस्
13:52
Don't make decisions too far in advance,
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समय भन्दा धेरै पहिला निर्णय नलिनुस,
13:55
particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making.
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विशेषगरी त्यस्ता निर्णयहरु जस बारे तपाई स्वयम अवगत हुनुहुन्न |
13:59
My generation really, sadly,
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मेरो पुस्ताले, दुःख पूर्बक भन्नुपर्दा,
14:01
is not going to change the numbers at the top.
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त्यो उच्च तहको संख्या लाई परिवर्तन गर्न सक्दैन |
14:03
They're just not moving.
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त्यो संख्या परिवर्तन भैरहेको छैन |
14:05
We are not going to get to where 50 percent of the population --
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हामी त्यो ५० प्रतिशत जनसंख्या भएको स्थिति सम्म पुग्ने छैनौ -
14:08
in my generation, there will not be 50 percent of [women]
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मेरो पुस्ता मा, ५० प्रतिशत महिला हुने छैनन्
14:11
at the top of any industry.
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कुनै पनि उध्योग को उच्च तह मा |
14:13
But I'm hopeful that future generations can.
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तर मा आशावादी छु कि भविष्य का पुस्ता ले त्यो गर्न सक्छन |
14:17
I think a world that was run
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मलाई लाग्छ त्यो संसार
14:19
where half of our countries and half of our companies
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जसमा हाम्रा आधा देशहरू र आधा कम्पनीहरु
14:21
were run by women, would be a better world.
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महिलाहरुले चलाएका हुन्, त्यो संसार साँचिकै राम्रो हुने छ |
14:24
And it's not just because people would know where the women's bathrooms are,
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र त्यो मानिषहरु ले महिला शौचालय कहाँ छ भनेर थाहा पाउँछन् भनेर मात्र पनि हैन,
14:27
even though that would be very helpful.
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तथापी त्यो राम्रो हुनेछ |
14:30
I think it would be a better world.
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मलाई लाग्छ त्यो राम्रो संसार हुनेछ |
14:32
I have two children.
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मेरा दुई वटा बच्चाहरु छन् |
14:34
I have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter.
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पाँच वर्ष को छोरो र दुई वर्ष कि छोरी |
14:37
I want my son to have a choice
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म मेरो छोरा को लागि छनोट होस् भन्ने चाहान्छु
14:39
to contribute fully in the workforce or at home,
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पूर्ण रूपमा कार्यदस्ता अथवा घरमा सेवा प्रदान गर्ने,
14:42
and I want my daughter to have the choice
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र मेरी छोरी को लागि चाहान्छु
14:44
to not just succeed,
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अघि बढ्ने छनोट मात्र हैन,
14:46
but to be liked for her accomplishments.
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तर उनको प्राप्ति को लागि उनलाई मन पराईयोस भन्ने |
14:48
Thank you.
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धन्यवाद
14:50
(Applause)
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(ताली)
Translated by Suresh Gautam
Reviewed by Deepak Basyal

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sheryl Sandberg - COO, Facebook
As the COO at the helm of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg juggles the tasks of monetizing the world’s largest social networking site while keeping its users happy and engaged.

Why you should listen

Long before Sheryl Sandberg left Google to join Facebook as its Chief Operating Officer in 2008, she was a fan. Today she manages Facebook’s sales, marketing, business development, human resources, public policy and communications. It’s a massive job, but one well suited to Sandberg, who not only built and managed Google’s successful online sales and operations program but also served as an economist for the World Bank and Chief of Staff at the US Treasury Department. Sandberg’s experience navigating the complex and socially sensitive world of international economics has proven useful as she and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg work to strike a balance between helping Facebook users control privacy while finding ways to monetize its most valuable asset: data.

At TEDWomen in 2010 Sandberg made the bold decision to talk about the experience of being one of very few women at the C-level of business. She noted that many women, in anticipating having a family, "lean back" from leading at work. After her TED Talk took off, Sandberg wrote the book Lean In, which has spent nearly a year on the New York Times Bestseller list. Sandberg plans to release a version of the book for graduates.

More profile about the speaker
Sheryl Sandberg | Speaker | TED.com