ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Sheryl Sandberg - COO, Facebook
As the COO at the helm of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg juggles the tasks of monetizing the world’s largest social networking site while keeping its users happy and engaged.

Why you should listen

Long before Sheryl Sandberg left Google to join Facebook as its Chief Operating Ofﬁcer in 2008, she was a fan. Today she manages Facebook’s sales, marketing, business development, human resources, public policy and communications. It’s a massive job, but one well suited to Sandberg, who not only built and managed Google’s successful online sales and operations program but also served as an economist for the World Bank and Chief of Staff at the US Treasury Department. Sandberg’s experience navigating the complex and socially sensitive world of international economics has proven useful as she and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg work to strike a balance between helping Facebook users control privacy while ﬁnding ways to monetize its most valuable asset: data.

At TEDWomen in 2010 Sandberg made the bold decision to talk about the experience of being one of very few women at the C-level of business. She noted that many women, in anticipating having a family, "lean back" from leading at work. After her TED Talk took off, Sandberg wrote the book Lean In, which has spent nearly a year on the New York Times Bestseller list. Sandberg plans to release a version of the book for graduates.

More profile about the speaker
Sheryl Sandberg | Speaker | TED.com

TEDWomen 2013

Sheryl Sandberg: So we leaned in ... now what?

Sheryl Sandberg: Ne beme perpara... po tani?

Filmed: 2013-12-05

Readability: 3.1

2,708,050 views

Sheryl Sandberg rrefen se ne 2010 ishte e frikesuar te ngjitej ne skenen e TED, sepse per here te pare ajo do te fliste per eksperiencen vetmitare e te qenit grua ne nivelet me te larta te biznesit. Pas miliona shikimeve (dhe nje libri best-seller) Drejtoresha Operative e Facebook bisedon me gruan qe e nxiti te mbante ate fjalim, Pat Mitchell. Sandberg hapet ne lidhje me reagimet ndaj idese se saj, dhe tregon se ne c'menyra femrat ende luftojne per te arritur suksesin.

Sheryl Sandberg - COO, Facebook
As the COO at the helm of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg juggles the tasks of monetizing the world’s largest social networking site while keeping its users happy and engaged. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12

Pat Mitchell: Your first time back on the TEDWomen stage.

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Pat Mitchell: Hera e pare qe kthehesh
ne skenen e TEDWomen.

00:15

Sheryl Sandberg: First time back. Nice to see everyone. It's always so nice to look out

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Sheryl Sandberg: Hera e pare qe kthehem.
Eshte kenaqesi t'ju shoh te gjitheve.

00:18

and see so many women.

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Eshte bukur te shohesh kaq shume gra.

00:20

It's so not my regular experience,
as I know anyone else's.

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Kjo nuk me ndodh pothuajse asnjehere ne pune,
ashtu si edhe shume te tjereve.

00:25

PM: So when we first started talking about, maybe the subject wouldn't be social media,

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PM: Kur filluam te diskutonim ne lidhje me fjalimin,
dhe se ai nuk kishte te bente me rrjetin social,

00:30

which we assumed it would be, but
that you had very much on your mind

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edhe pse ne kishim menduar te kunderten,
ti kishe shume gjera per te thene

00:35

the missing leadership positions, particularly
in the sector of technology and social media.

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ne lidhje me mungesen e pozicioneve drejtuese,
sidomos ne sektorin e teknologjise dhe rrjetit social.

00:42

But how did that evolve for you as a thought, and end up being the TED Talk that you gave?

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Si evoluoi ky mendim brenda teje per te rezultuar
ne ate fjalim qe ti mbajte ne TED?

00:49

SS: So I was really scared to get on
this stage and talk about women,

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Kisha frike te ngjitesha ne skene
per te folur ne lidhje me femrat,

00:51

because I grew up in the business
world, as I think so many of us did.

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sepse ashtu si shume prej nesh ketu
une jam rritur ne boten e biznesit.

00:55

You never talk about being a woman, because
someone might notice that you're a woman, right?

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Rralle ndodh te flasesh per faktin qe je grua,
sepse e verejne qe ti je grua, apo jo?

01:01

They might notice. Or worse, if you say "woman,"
people on the other end of the table

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Ata e kuptojne. Ose edhe me keq, nese permend
fjalen "grua", njerezit perballe teje

01:05

think you're asking for special
treatment, or complaining.

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mendojne se je duke kerkuar nje trajtim te vecante,
ose je duke u ankuar per dicka.

01:09

Or worse, about to sue them.
And so I went through -- (Laughter)

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Ose edhe me keq, mendojne se po i padit.
Keshtu gjate gjithe karrieres -- (te qeshura)

01:12

Right? I went through my entire business career,

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Apo jo? Gjate gjithe karrieres sime une

01:14

and never spoke about being a woman,
never spoke about it publicly.

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nuk kam folur asnjehere per faktin qe jam grua,
nuk kam folur asnjehere ne publik per kete.

01:18

But I also had noticed that it wasn't working.

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Por gjithashtu kisha vene re se dicka nuk shkonte.

01:21

I came out of college over
20 years ago, and I thought

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Kur 20 vjete me pare mbarova universitetin mendoja

01:24

that all of my peers were men and women,
all the people above me were all men,

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se te gjithe shoket e mi ishin meshkuj edhe femra,
ndersa drejtuesit ishin te gjithe meshkuj,

01:28

but that would change,

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mendoja se kjo do ndryshonte,

01:29

because your generation had done such
an amazing job fighting for equality,

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sepse brezi juaj beri nje pune te shkelqyer
ne luften per barazi.

01:34

equality was now ours for the taking. And it wasn't.

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Tani ishim ne ata qe do te perfitonin nga kjo barazi.
Por nuk ndodhi keshtu.

01:38

Because year after year, I was one of fewer and fewer,

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Sepse vit pas viti, une isha nder te paktat, te rrallat,

01:41

and now, often the only woman in a room.

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dhe sot, shpesh e vetmja femer ne sallen e mbledhjeve.

01:43

And I talked to a bunch of people about,

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Bisedova me shume vete ne lidhje me kete,

01:45

should I give a speech at TEDWomen
about women, and they said, oh no, no.

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a duhet te mbaj nje fjalim per femrat ne
TEDWomen apo jo, dhe ata me thane jo, jo, jo.

01:48

It will end your business career. You
cannot be a serious business executive

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Kjo do te shenjonte fundin e karrieres tende.
Ti nuk mund te jesh nje drejtuese serioze

01:54

and speak about being a woman.
You'll never be taken seriously again.

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nese nis te flasesh per faktin se je femer.
Nuk kane per te te marre me seriozisht.

01:57

But fortunately, there were the few, the proud -- like you -- who told me I should give the speech,

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Por fatmiresisht pati nje pakice guximtaresh - si ti -
te cilet me thane se duhet t'a mbaja ate fjalim,

02:02

and I asked myself the question
Mark Zuckerberg might --

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dhe une i bera vetes pyetjen qe Mark Zuckerberg -

02:05

the founder of Facebook and my boss --

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themeluesi i Facebook-ut dhe shefi im -

02:06

asks all of us, which is, what
would I do if I wasn't afraid?

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na e ben te gjitheve:
Cfare do te beje nese s'do te kishe frike?

02:11

And the answer to what would I do if I wasn't
afraid is I would get on the TED stage,

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Ajo qe une do te beja nese s'do te kisha frike
ishte te ngjitesha ne skenen e TED

02:15

and talk about women, and leadership.
And I did, and survived. (Applause)

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dhe te flisja per femrat dhe lidershipin.
Une e bera kete, dhe mbijetova. (Duartrokitje)

02:22

PM: I would say, not only survived.
I'm thinking of that moment, Sheryl,

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PM; Dhe jo vetem.
Sheryl, me vjen ne mend ai casti

02:26

when you and I were standing backstage
together, and you turned to me,

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kur ti dhe une gjendeshim prapa kuintave
dhe ti m'u ktheve

02:30

and you told me a story.

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dhe me tregove nje histori.

02:32

And I said -- very last minute -- you know,
you really should share that story.

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Dhe une te thashe - ne momentin e fundit -
se ti duhet t'a ndaje ate histori me te tjeret.

02:36

SS: Oh, yeah.
PM: What was that story?

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SS: Oh po.
PM: Cila ishte ajo histori?

02:38

SS: Well, it's an important part of the
journey. So I had -- TEDWomen --

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SS: Epo, kjo eshte pjese e rendesishme e udhetimit.
Une duhet te shkoja ne TEDWomen,

02:41

the original one was in D.C. -- so I live here,
so I had gotten on a plane the day before,

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qe ate vit do te mbahej ne Washington.
Une jetoj ketu, keshtu qe nje dite me pare mora avionin,

02:45

and my daughter was three, she was
clinging to my leg: "Mommy, don't go."

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dhe vajza ime trevjecare m'u kap pas kembes duke thene: "Mami, mos ik."

02:50

And Pat's a friend, and so, not related
to the speech I was planning on giving,

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Dhe Pati eshte mikeshe e imja,
s'kishte lidhje me fjalimin qe duhet te mbaja,

02:54

which was chock full of facts and
figures, and nothing personal,

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i cili notonte ne te dhena dhe shifra,
dhe nuk permbante asgje personale,

02:58

I told Pat the story. I said, well,
I'm having a hard day.

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i tregova Patit kete histori.
I thashe se kisha patur nje dite te veshtire

03:00

Yesterday my daughter was clinging
to my leg, and "Don't go."

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Dje vajza m'u kap pas kembes duke me thene
"Mos shko."

03:03

And you looked at me and said,
you have to tell that story.

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Dhe ti me pe ne sy dhe me the,
ti duhet t'a tregosh kete histori.

03:05

I said, on the TED stage? Are you kidding?

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Une thashe: "Ne skenen e TED? Mos po tallesh?

03:09

I'm going to get on a stage and admit
my daughter was clinging to my leg?

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Te ngjitem ne skene dhe te pranoj qe
vajza po me lutej te mos ikja?"

03:11

And you said yes, because if you want to talk
about getting more women into leadership roles,

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Dhe ti me the po, sepse nese do t'i bindesh femrat
te pranojne pozicione lideresh,

03:16

you have to be honest about how hard it is.

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duhet te tregosh e sinqerte ne lidhje
me veshtiresite e ketij vendimi.

03:19

And I did. And I think that's a really
important part of the journey.

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Une e tregova historine. Dhe mendoj se kjo
eshte pjese e rendesishme e udhetimit tim.

03:23

The same thing happened when I wrote my book.
I started writing the book. I wrote a first chapter,

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E njejta gje ndodhi kur shkruajta librin.
Fillova te shkruaj. Mbarova kapitullin e pare,

03:29

I thought it was fabulous. It was
chock-full of data and figures,

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dhe mendoja si ishte vertet fantastik.
Notonte ne te dhena dhe shifra,

03:33

I had three pages on matrilineal Maasai
tribes, and their sociological patterns.

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Kisha shkruar tre faqe per tribute matriarkale Maasai
dhe sjelljet e tyre ne shoqeri.

03:41

My husband read it and he was like, this
is like eating your Wheaties. (Laughter)

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Bashkeshorti im e lexoi dhe tha ky eshte si te hash nje mengjes te pasur perpara nje stervitje te forte.
(te qeshura)

03:46

No one -- and I apologize to Wheaties if there's
someone -- no one, no one will read this book.

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Askush - i kerkoj falje atyre nga Wheaties
qe jane ketu - askush nuk do t'a lexonte ate liber.

03:53

And I realized through the process that I
had to be more honest and more open,

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Dhe gjate ketij procesi une kuptova se
duhet te isha me e sinqerte dhe e hapur,

03:57

and I had to tell my stories. My stories of still
not feeling as self-confident as I should,

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dhe se duhet te tregoja historite e mia. Se si ende
nuk ndihem aq e sigurte sa duhet ne shume situata.

04:02

in many situations. My first and
failed marriage. Crying at work.

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Se si deshtoi martesa ime e pare.
Se pse ndonjehere qaj ne pune.

04:08

Felling like I didn't belong there,
feeling guilty to this day.

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Se ndihesha sikur nuk i perkisja atij vendi,
gje per te cilen ndihem fajtore edhe sot e kesaj dite.

04:12

And part of my journey, starting on this stage,
going to "Lean In," going to the foundation,

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Dhe nje pjese e udhetimit qe filloi ne kete skene,
u pasua nga "Te bejme perpara", dhe me fondacionin,

04:16

is all about being more open and
honest about those challenges,

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ka te beje me te qenit me e hapur dhe
e sinqerte ne lidhje me keto sfida,

04:20

so that other women can be more open and honest,

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ne menyre qe te gjitha femrat te jene
me te hapura dhe te sinqerta,

04:22

and all of us can work together towards real equality.

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keshtu te gjitha ne do te punojme
bashke drejt barazise.

04:26

PM: I think that one of the most
striking parts about the book,

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PM: Mendoj se nje nga pjeset
me te goditura te librit,

04:29

and in my opinion, one of the reasons it's hit such
a nerve and is resonating around the world,

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dhe sipas meje, nje prej motiveve qe i solli
atij kaq sukses dhe fame ne te gjithe boten,

04:35

is that you are personal in the book,
and that you do make it clear that,

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eshte se ti tregon shume per veten,
dhe ben te qarte se,

04:41

while you've observed some things that are
very important for other women to know,

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teksa flet per gjera qe te gjitha femrat duhet t'i dine,

04:45

that you've had the same challenges
that many others of us have,

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ti vete je perballur me te njejtat sfida
si shumica prej nesh,

04:49

as you faced the hurdles and the barriers and
possibly the people who don't believe the same.

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teksa kaperceje veshtiresite dhe pengesat
si edhe njerez qe nuk e mendonin si ti.

04:56

So talk about that process: deciding
you'd go public with the private part,

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Na trego pak per kete proces: kur ti more
vendimin te publikoje historite e tua,

05:01

and then you would also put yourself in
the position of something of an expert

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njekohesisht t'u desh te merrje
rolin e nje lloj eksperteje

05:05

on how to resolve those challenges.

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persa i perket zgjidhjes se ketyre sfidave.

05:08

SS: After I did the TED Talk, what happened was --

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SS: Pas fjalimit ne TED, ndodhi qe-

05:10

you know, I never really expected to write
a book, I'm not an author, I'm not a writer,

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E di, une nuk e kisha parashikuar
te shkruaja nje liber, nuk jam shkrimtare,

05:14

and it was viewed a lot, and it really
started impacting people's lives.

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por videoja pati shume shikime, dhe
filloi te ndikonte ne jetet e njerezve.

05:19

I got this great --- one of the first
letters I got was from a woman

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Me erdhi nje leter fantastike-
Nje nga letrat e para qe mora ishte nga nje grua

05:22

who said that she was offered a really big
promotion at work, and she turned it down,

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qe me tha se i kishin ofruar nje ngritje shume
te forte ne detyre, dhe se e kishte refuzuar,

05:27

and she told her best friend she turned
it down, and her best friend said,

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dhe pasi ia tregoi kete shoqes se ngushte,
shoqja i tha

05:30

you really need to watch this TED Talk.

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se ajo duhet te shihte patjeter nje fjalim ne TED.

05:31

And so she watched this TED Talk, and she
went back the next day, she took the job,

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Ajo e ndoqi fjalimin ne TED,
shkoi te nesermen ne pune, e pranoi propozimin,

05:36

she went home, and she handed her
husband the grocery list. (Laughter)

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u kthye ne shtepi dhe i dorezoi te shoqit
listen e pazarit. (te qeshura)

05:41

And she said, I can do this.

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Ajo tha, une mund t'a bej kete.

05:42

And what really mattered to me -- it wasn't
only women in the corporate world,

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C'ka ishte edhe me e rendesishme per mua...
Fjalimi nuk ndikoi thjesht femrat e botes se biznesit,

05:45

even though I did hear from a lot of
them, and it did impact a lot of them,

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edhe pse kam degjuar historite e shume
prej tyre dhe ndikimin e fjalimit tek to,

05:48

it was also people of all different circumstances.

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ai ndikoi njerez qe ndodheshin ne
situata nga me te ndryshmet.

05:52

There was a doctor I met who was an
attending physician at Johns Hopkins,

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Nje here takova nje doktor qe punonte
per spitalin Johns Hopkins,

05:56

and he said that until he saw my TED
Talk, it never really occurred to him

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dhe me tha qe para se te shihte fjalimin tim ne TED,
nuk i kishte shkuar asnjehere ne mendje

06:00

that even though half the students in
his med school classes were women,

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se, edhe pse gjysma e studenteve te tij
te mjekesise ishin femra,

06:02

they weren't speaking as much as
the men as he did his rounds.

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ato nuk flisnin aq shume sa meshkujt
kur ai i drejtonte pyetje salles.

06:05

So he started paying attention, and as he waited for
raised hands, he realized the men's hands were up.

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Filloi te vezhgonte dhe pa se teksa priste pergjigje,
shihte me shume duart e ngritura te meshkujve.

06:11

So he started encouraging the
women to raise their hands more,

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Keshtu filloi te inkurajonte femrat
qe t'a ngrinin doren me shpesh,

06:13

and it still didn't work.

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por as kjo nuk funksionoi.

06:15

So he told everyone, no more
hand raising, I'm cold-calling.

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Ai iu tha studenteve se nuk do t'i kerkonte me te ngrinin duart, por do t'i therriste ne emer,

06:18

So he could call evenly on men and women.
And what he proved to himself was that

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ne menyre qe te aktivizonte sa meshkuj
aq edhe femra. Dhe ajo qe ai konfirmoi

06:22

the women knew the answers just as well or better,

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ishte se femrat i dinin pergjigjet po aq mire
ose edhe me mire se meshkujt,

06:25

and he was able to go back
to them and tell them that.

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dhe ai e ndau kete perfundim me to.

06:27

And then there was the woman, stay-at-home
mom, lives in a really difficult neighborhood,

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Me pas mora letren e nje nene shtepiake
qe jeton ne nje lagje te varfer,

06:32

with not a great school, she said that TED
Talk -- she's never had a corporate job,

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ku shkolla nuk eshte shume mire. Ajo nuk kishte
punuar kurre ne nje korporate, por tha se

06:36

but that TED Talk inspired her to go to her school
and fight for a better teacher for her child.

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fjalimi ne TED e nxiti te shkonte tek shkolla e femijes
te saj dhe te luftonte per mesues me te mire.

06:42

And I guess it was part of was finding my own voice.

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Mendoj se kjo ishte pjese e rigjetjes se zerit tim.

06:46

And I realized that other women and
men could find their voice through it,

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Dhe kuptova se edhe femra apo meshkuj te tjere
mund te gjenin zerin e tyre,

06:50

which is why I went from the talk to the book.

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ja pse kalova nga fjalimi tek libri.

06:53

PM: And in the book, you not only found your
voice, which is clear and strong in the book,

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PM: Dhe ne liber, ti jo vetem rigjen zerin tend,
i cili dallohet i qarte dhe i forte,

06:59

but you also share what you've learned --

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por ti gjithashtu ndan ate qe ke mesuar

07:03

the experiences of other people in the lessons.

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permes eksperiencave te njerezve te tjere.

07:06

And that's what I'm thinking about
in terms of putting yourself in a --

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Prandaj une mendoj se ti e vure veten ne rolin e -

07:10

you became a sort of expert in how you lean in.

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ti u bere nje lloj eksperteje ne berjen perpara.

07:15

So what did that feel like, and
become like in your life?

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Cfare ndjesie te dha kjo gje, cfare solli ajo ne jeten tende?

07:20

To launch not just a book, not just
a best-selling, best-viewed talk,

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Lancimi jo vetem i nje libri, jo vetem i nje best selleri,
i nje fjalimi te pare nga miliona,

07:26

but a movement, where people began to
literally describe their actions at work as,

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por krijimi i nje levizjeje, ku njerezit filluan
te pershkruanin veprimet e tyre ne pune me frazen

07:32

I'm leaning in.

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Po bej perpara.

07:34

SS: I mean, I'm grateful, I'm honored,
I'm happy, and it's the very beginning.

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SS: Jam mirenjohese, e nderuar, e lumtur,
dhe ky eshte vetem fillimi.

07:41

So I don't know if I'm an expert, or if anyone is
an expert. I certainly have done a lot of research.

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Nuk e di nese jam eksperte, apo nese ekspertet
ekzistojne vertete. Por kam bere shume kerkime.

07:46

I have read every study, I have
pored over the materials,

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Kam lexuar cdo studim, kam zhbiruar gjithe te dhenat,

07:49

and the lessons are very clear.
Because here's what we know:

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dhe mesimet jane te qarta.
Sepse ajo qe dime eshte:

07:53

What we know is that stereotypes are holding women
back from leadership roles all over the world.

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Dime se ne te gjithe boten krijimi i stereotipeve
po i mban femrat larg roleve drejtuese.

07:58

It's so striking. "Lean In" is very global,
I've been all over the world,

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Eshte e habitshme. "Te bejme perpara" eshte global,
une kam shetitur boten

08:00

talking about it, and -- cultures are so different.

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duke folur per te, dhe -
kulturat jane shume te ndryshme.

08:03

Even within our own country, to Japan,
to Korea, to China, to Asia, Europe,

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Madje edhe brenda vendit tone, apo ne Japoni,
Kore, Kine, Azi, Europe,

08:08

they're so different. Except for one thing: gender.

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ato jane te ndryshme. Pervec dickaje: gjinise.

08:12

All over the world, no matter what our cultures are,

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Ne te gjithe boten, paravaresisht kultures,

08:14

we think men should be strong,
assertive, aggressive, have voice;

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ne mendojme se mashkulli duhet te jete i forte,
i sigurte, agresiv, t'i degjohet zeri;

08:18

we think women should speak
when spoken to, help others.

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mendojme se femra duhet te flasi vetem
kur e pyesin, dhe se duhet t'i ndihmoje te tjeret.

08:22

Now we have, all over the world,

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Sot ne te gjithe boten

08:26

women are called "bossy."
There is a word for "bossy,"

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femrat quhen prepotente.
Ne cdo gjuhe

08:30

for little girls, in every language there's one.

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ekziston nje fjale per t'i therritur vajzat e vogla prepotente.

08:32

It's a word that's pretty much not used for little boys,

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Eshte nje fjale qe rralle perdoret per djemte,

08:35

because if a little boy leads,
there's no negative word for it,

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sepse kur nje djale i vogel udheheq,
kjo gje nuk pershkruhet me fjale negative,

08:37

it's expected. But if a little girl leads, she's bossy.

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sepse eshte e pritshme. Por kur nje vajze e vogel udheheq, atehere ajo eshte prepotente.

08:42

Now I know there aren't a lot of
men here, but bear with me.

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E di qe nuk kemi shume meshkuj ne salle,
por kini pak durim.

08:44

If you're a man, you'll have
to represent your gender.

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Duke qe se jeni meshkuj, do t'ju duhet
te perfaqesoni gjinine tuaj.

08:47

Please raise your hand if you've been
told you're too aggressive at work.

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Ju lutem ngrini duart nese ne pune dikush
ju ka thene se jeni shume agresive.

08:52

(Laughter) There's always a few, it runs about
five percent. Okay, get ready, gentlemen.

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(te qeshura) Epo gjithnje do kete ndonje,
arrin tek pese perqind. Mire, behuni gati zoterinj.

08:58

If you're a woman, please raise your hand if you've
ever been told you're too aggressive at work.

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Nese je femer, te lutem ngri doren nese ne ambientin
e punes te kane thene se je shume agresive.

09:05

(Laughter) That is what audiences have
said in every country in the world,

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(te qeshura) Kete gje e ka thene publiku
i secilit vend ku kam shkuar,

09:08

and it's deeply supported by the data.

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dhe kete e vertetojne edhe te dhenat.

09:11

Now, do we think women are more
aggressive than men? Of course not.

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Tani, a mendojme ne vertete se femrat jane
me agresive se meshkujt? Sigurisht qe jo.

09:16

It's just that we judge them through a different lens,

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Vetem se ne i gjykojme ato me nje tjeter sy.

09:18

and a lot of the character traits that you must
exhibit to perform at work, to get results, to lead,

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dhe shume prej karakteristikave qe te ndihmojne te japesh rezultate dhe te udheheqesh ne pune

09:23

are ones that we think, in a man, he's a boss,

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jane ato qe na bejne t'a mendojme mashkullin shef

09:26

and in a woman, she's bossy.

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ndersa femren prepotente.

09:27

And the good news about this is that we
can change this by acknowledging it.

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Lajmi i mire eshte se ne mund t'a ndryshojme
kete duke u ndergjegjesuar.

09:31

One of the happiest moments
I had in this whole journey is,

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Nje nga momentet me te lumtura
ne kete udhetim ishte kur,

09:34

after the book came out, I stood on a stage
with John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco.

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pas daljes se librit, ndodhesha ne skene
me John Chambers, CEO i Cisco-s.

09:39

He read the book. He stood on a stage with me, he
invited me in front of his whole management team,

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Ai kishte lexuar librin. Gjendej me mua ne skene,
me ftoi para skuadres se tij te menaxhereve,

09:42

men and women, and he said, I thought we
were good at this. I thought I was good at this.

147

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femra dhe meshkuj, dhe tha, mendoja se ishim te afte ne kete pune. Mendoja se isha i afte ne kete pune.

09:46

And then I read this book, and I
realized that we -- my company --

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Pastaj lexova kete liber dhe kuptova
se ne - kompania ime-

09:51

we have called all of our
senior women too aggressive,

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1984

i kemi percaktuar te gjitha
femrat drejtuese si teper agresive,

09:53

and I'm standing on this stage, and I'm sorry.

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dhe une qendroj ketu para jush,
dhe ju them se me vjen keq.

09:55

And I want you to know we're
never going to do it again.

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Dua t'ju them se
kjo nuk do te ndodhe me.

09:59

PM: Can we send that to a lot of other
people that we know? (Applause)

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PM: A mund t'ia kerkojme kete edhe gjithe
atyre njerezve te tjere qe njohim? (duartrokitje)

10:02

SS: And so John is doing that because
he believes it's good for his company,

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SS: Keshtu John e beri kete sepse mendonte
se kjo do t'a permiresonte kompanine e tij,

10:06

and so this kind of acknowledgement
of these biases can change it.

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keshtu pranimi i ekzistences se
paragjykimit mund t'a ndryshoje ate.

10:09

And so next time you all see
someone call a little girl "bossy,"

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Keshtu, heren e ardhshme qe do te degjoni
dike qe quan prepotente nje vajze te vogel,

10:13

you walk right up to that person,
big smile, and you say,

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mund t'i afroheni atij personi
duke buzeqeshur dhe t'i thoni,

10:16

"That little girl's not bossy. That little girl has
executive leadership skills." (Laughter)

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"Ajo vajze nuk eshte prepotente. Ajo thjesht ka aftesi prej drejtueseje te larte." (te qeshura)

10:22

PM: I know that's what you're telling your daughter.
SS: Absolutely.

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PM: Kjo eshte e njejta gje qe ti i thua vajzes tende.
SS: Absolutisht po.

10:25

PM: And you did focus in the book -- and
the reason, as you said, in writing it,

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PM: Ti je fokusuar ne kete liber -
the se arsyeja per te cilen e shkrove

10:28

was to create a dialogue about this.

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1925

ishte krijimi i dialogut ne lidhje me kete teme.

10:30

I mean, let's just put it out there,
face the fact that women are --

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Dua te them, le t'e flasim per kete,
te perballemi me faktin se,

10:34

in a time when we have more open
doors, and more opportunities --

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edhe pse ka shume dyer te hapura
dhe mundesi te reja,

10:37

are still not getting to the leadership positions.

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femrat ende nuk marrin pozicione drejtuese.

10:41

So in the months that have come since the book,

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Ne muajt qe pasuan publikimin e librit,

10:43

in which "Lean In" focused on that and said,

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2558

ne te cilin theksohet ky problem dhe thuhet se

10:46

here are some of the challenges that remain, and
many of them we have to own within ourselves

166

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4300

keto jane sfidat qe na presin, dhe shumicen prej tyre
duhet t'a luftojme nga brenda vetes

10:50

and look at ourselves. What has changed?

167

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2762

duke pare brenda nesh. Cfare ka ndryshuar prej atehere?

10:53

Have you seen changes?

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2086

A ke vene re ndonje ndryshim.

10:55

SS: Well, there's certainly more
dialogue, which is great.

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SS: Sigurisht ka me shume dialog, e kjo eshte pozitive.

10:57

But what really matters to me,
and I think all of us, is action.

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Por ajo qe eshte me e rendesishme per mua,
dhe ndoshta per te gjithe ne, jane veprimet.

11:00

So everywhere I go, CEOs,
they're mostly men, say to me,

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3784

Keshtu, kudo qe shkoj, CEO-t, shumica
prej te cileve jane meshkuj, me thone

11:04

you're costing me so much money

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2619

po me shkakton shpenzime te medha

11:06

because all the women want to
be paid as much as the men.

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3172

sepse tani femrat duan te paguhen aq sa meshkujt.

11:10

And to them I say, I'm not sorry at all. (Laughter)

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4281

Dhe une u them se nuk me vjen aspak keq.
(te qeshura)

11:14

At all. I mean, the women should
be paid as much as the men.

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3238

Aspak. Dua te them, femrat
duhet te paguhen sa meshkujt.

11:17

Everywhere I go, women tell me they ask for raises.

176

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3137

Kudo qe shkoj femrat me thone
se kerkojne rritje rroge.

11:20

Everywhere I go, women say they're getting
better relationships with their spouses,

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3997

Kudo qe shkoj, femrat me tregojne qe marredheniet
e tyre me partneret jane permiresuar,

11:24

asking for more help at home, asking for the
promotions they should be getting at work,

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se kerkojne me shume ndihme ne shtepi,
kerkojne ngritje ne detyre,

11:28

and importantly, believing it
themselves. Even little things.

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dhe me e rendesishmja, se besojne tek vetja.

11:31

One of the governors of one of the states told me
that he didn't realize that more women were, in fact,

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4032

Nje prej governatoreve me tha se ai nuk e
kishte vene re se shumica e femrave

11:35

literally sitting on the side
of the room, which they are,

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2229

uleshin ne skajet e dhomes,
gje qe eshte e vertete,

11:37

and now he made a rule that all the women
on his staff need to sit at the table.

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5487

dhe se ai kishte vendosur rregullin se gjithe
femrat e stafit duhet te uleshin ne tavoline.

11:43

The foundation I started along
with the book "Lean In"

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2156

Fondacioni qe themelova ne te njejten kohe
me librin "Te bejme perpara"

11:45

helps women, or men, start circles -- small groups,

184

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3352

ndihmon femrat, por edhe meshkujt...
te krijojne grupe

11:48

it can be 10, it can be however many
you want, which meet once a month.

185

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3249

mund te jene 10 persona, apo edhe me shume,
te cilet takohen nje here ne muaj.

11:52

I would have hoped that by now, we'd have
about 500 circles. That would've been great.

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Une shpresoja qe deri ne kete moment te kishim rreth 500 grupe. Kjo do te ishte e mrekullueshme.

11:55

You know, 500 times roughly 10.

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2922

Pra, afersisht 500 here 10.

11:58

There are over 12,000 circles
in 50 countries in the world.

188

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3230

Jane krijuar me shume se 12.000 grupe
ne 50 shtete te botes.

12:01

PM: Wow, that's amazing.

189

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1560

PM: Kjo eshte e mrekullueshme.

12:03

SS: And these are people who
are meeting every single month.

190

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3075

SS: Keta njerez takohen cdo muaj.

12:06

I met one of them, I was in Beijing.

191

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2339

Une takova njeren prej tyre kur isha ne Pekin.

12:08

A group of women, they're all about 29 or 30,
they started the first Lean In circle in Beijing,

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4700

Nje grup femrash me moshe 29 apo 30 vjec kishin
krijuar grupin e pare ne Pekin Te bejme perpara,

12:13

several of them grew up in very poor, rural China.

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3993

dhe disa prej tyre ishin rritur
ne zona te varfera rurale te Kines.

12:17

These women are 29, they are told by
their society that they are "left over,"

194

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5808

Femrat 29-vjecare shoqeria e tyre i quan "te mbetura"

12:23

because they are not yet married,

195

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2013

sepse ato nuk jane ende te martuara,

12:25

and the process of coming together
once a month at a meeting

196

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2783

dhe zakoni i ketij takimi mujor

12:27

is helping them define who they are for themselves.

197

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3300

po i ndihmon ato te percaktojne se si e shohin veten.

12:31

What they want in their careers. The
kind of partners they want, if at all.

198

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4336

Se cfare duan nga karriera e punes.
Tipin e partnerit qe duan, nese e duan.

12:35

I looked at them, we went around
and introduced ourselves,

199

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1987

I pashe teksa po prezantonim veten me rradhe

12:37

and they all said their names
and where they're from,

200

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1839

dhe ato te gjitha thane si quheshin dhe se nga vinin,

12:39

and I said, I'm Sheryl Sandberg,
and this was my dream.

201

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3480

dhe une thashe, une jam Sheryl Sandberg,
dhe kjo ishte endrra ime

12:42

And I kind of just started crying.

202

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1840

Dhe pastaj fillova te qaj.

12:44

Right, which, I admit, I do. Right?
I've talked about it before.

203

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4757

Epo, une kete e pranoj. Apo jo?
Kam folur edhe me pare per kete.

12:49

But the fact that a woman so far away out in
the world, who grew up in a rural village,

204

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4570

Por fakti se nje femer qe ndodhet ne anen
tjeter te botes, qe eshte rritur ne fshat,

12:54

who's being told to marry someone
she doesn't want to marry,

205

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4111

te ciles i kane thene te martohet
me dike qe ajo nuk e pelqen,

12:58

can now go meet once a month with
a group of people and refuse that,

206

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2937

fakti qe ajo sot mund te takohet nje here ne muaj
me persona te tjere dhe t'a refuzoje ate kerkese,

13:01

and find life on her own terms.

207

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2994

per te bere jeten qe do ajo vete.

13:04

That's the kind of change we have to hope for.

208

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1943

Ky eshte ndryshimi qe ne shpresojme te shohim.

13:06

PM: Have you been surprised by
the global nature of the message?

209

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3547

PM: A te ka bere pershtypje natyra
globale e ketij mesazhi?

13:09

Because I think when the book first
came out, many people thought,

210

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3305

Sepse mendoj se kur libri u publikua,
shume njerez menduan

13:12

well, this is a really important handbook
for young women on their way up.

211

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3752

epo kjo eshte nje guide e mire per
femrat qe duan te bejne karriere.

13:16

They need to look at this, anticipate
the barriers, and recognize them,

212

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4314

Ata duhet t'a lexojne, te parashikojne pengesat,
t'i identifikojne ato,

13:20

put them out in the open, have the dialogue about it,

213

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2650

t'i bejne ato publike, te flasin per to,

13:23

but that it's really for women who are that.
Doing that. Pursuing the corporate world.

214

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5119

pra eshte shkruar per femra te tilla. Qe bejne
kete pune. Qe ndodhen ne boten e korporatave.

13:28

And yet the book is being read, as you
say, in rural and developing countries.

215

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Por libri eshte lexuar, sic thua edhe ti,
edhe ne vende rurale e ne zhvilim.

13:33

What part of that has surprised you, and
perhaps led to a new perspective on your part?

216

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7277

Prej gjithe kesaj cfare te ka surprizuar, e ndoshta te ka nxitur t'i shohesh gjerat me nje sy tjeter?

13:40

SS: The book is about self-confidence,
and about equality.

217

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SS: Libri flet per besimin ne vete dhe barazine.

13:43

And it turns out, everywhere in the world,
women need more self-confidence,

218

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3900

Dhe me sa duket ne te gjithe boten femrat kane me shume nevoje per vetebesim,

13:47

because the world tells us we're not equal to men.

219

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2221

sepse bota na thote se nuk jemi
te barabarta me meshkujt.

13:49

Everywhere in the world, we live in
a world where the men get "and,"

220

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3413

Ne jetojme ne nje bote ku meshkujt kane "dhe",

13:53

and women get "or."

221

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1311

ndersa femrat kane "ose".

13:54

I've never met a man who's been
asked how he does it all. (Laughter)

222

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3674

Une ende s'kam takuar nje mashkull qe e kane pyetur
se si ia del t'i beje te gjitha. (te qeshura)

13:58

Again, I'm going to turn to the men in the audience:

223

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3213

Do t'u drejtohem edhe nje here meshkujve te publikut:

14:01

Please raise your hand if you've
been asked, how do you do it all?

224

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3032

Ju lutem te ngrene duart ata te cileve u eshte
drejtuar pyetja, si arrin t'i besh te gjitha?

14:04

(Laughter)

225

832279

1449

(te qeshura)

14:05

Men only.

226

833728

1431

Vetem meshkujt.

14:07

Women, women. Please raise your hand
if you've been asked how you do it all?

227

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4878

Femrat, femrat. Ju lutem ngrini duart nese keni degjuar ndonjehere pyetjen, si arrin t'i besh te gjitha?

14:12

We assume men can do it all,
slash -- have jobs and children.

228

840037

6359

Ne mendojme se meshkujt mund t'i bejne
te gjitha... si punen ashtu edhe femijet.

14:18

We assume women can't, and that's ridiculous,

229

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1778

Ndersa mendojme se femrat nuk mund
t'ia dalin, dhe kjo eshte qesharake.

14:20

because the great majority of women everywhere
in the world, including the United States,

230

848174

3576

sepse pjesa me e madhe e femrave ne bote,
edhe ne Shtetet e Bashkuara,

14:23

work full time and have children.

231

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2296

punojne me kohe te plote dhe kane edhe femije.

14:26

And I think people don't fully understand
how broad the message is.

232

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Dhe une mendoj se njerezit nuk e kuptojne
se sa i gjere eshte ky mesazh.

14:31

There is a circle that's been started
for rescued sex workers in Miami.

233

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Ne Miami eshte krijuar nje grup per
punonjeset e seksit te shpetuara nga rruga.

14:35

They're using "Lean In" to help
people make the transition

234

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5351

Ato po perdorin "Te bejme perpara"
per te lehtesuar tranzicionin

14:40

back to what would be a fair life, really rescuing
them from their pimps, and using it.

235

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4741

drejt nje jete te drejte, dhe per t'i shpetuar ato nga
pronaret e tyre, ata po perdorin librin.

14:45

There are dress-for-success groups
in Texas which are using the book,

236

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3749

Ne Texas librin po e perdorin gjithashtu
grupet vishu-drejt-suksesit

14:49

for women who have never been to college.

237

877421

1659

drejtuar femrave qe nuk kane ndjekur universitetin.

14:51

And we know there are groups
all the way to Ethiopia.

238

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Dijme se ekzistojne grupe deri edhe ne Etiopi.

14:55

And so these messages of equality -- of how women
are told they can't have what men can have --

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Pra keto mesazhe barazie - se femrat rriten me dijen
se nuk mund te kene ate qe kane meshkujt -

15:00

how we assume that leadership is for men,
how we assume that voice is for men,

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se ne mendojme qe lidershipi u takon meshkujve,
se ne mendojme se vetem meshkujve

15:05

these affect all of us, and I
think they are very universal.

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mund t'u degjohet zeri, gjithe keto ndikojne tek ne,
dhe une mendoj se jane universale.

15:08

And it's part of what TEDWomen does.

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Kjo eshte pjese e asaj qe ben TEDWomen.

15:09

It unites all of us in a cause we have to believe in,

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3783

Na bashkon te gjithave per nje
kauze tek e cila duhet te besojme,

15:13

which is more women, more voice, more equality.

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qe eshte: me shume femra, ze me te forte,
me shume barazi.

15:17

PM: If you were invited now to
make another TEDWomen talk,

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PM: Nese sot do te te ftonin te mbaje
nje fjalim tjeter ne TEDWomen,

15:24

what would you say that is a result
of this experience, for you personally,

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cili do te ishte per ty personalisht
rezultati i kesaj eksperience,

15:30

and what you've learned about women, and men,

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dhe cfare ke mesuar prej femrave dhe meshkujve

15:32

as you've made this journey?

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gjate ketij udhetimi.

15:36

SS: I think I would say -- I tried to say this strongly,

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SS: Mendoj se do te thosha se -
mundova t'a them kete me force,

15:39

but I think I can say it more strongly --

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por mendoj se mund t'a them edhe me fort -

15:41

I want to say that the status quo is not enough.

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Do te thoja se status quo-ja nuk mjafton.

15:45

That it's not good enough, that it's
not changing quickly enough.

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Nuk mjafton, dhe gjerat nuk po
ndryshojne me shpejtesine e duhur.

15:48

Since I gave my TED Talk and published my book,
another year of data came out from the U.S. Census.

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5127

Pasi dhashe fjalimin tim ne TED dhe publikova librin,
censusi i SHBA nxorri te dhenat e vitit qe kaloi.

15:53

And you know what we found?

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Dhe e di cfare zbuluam?

15:55

No movement in the wage gap
for women in the United States.

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2777

Nuk ka pasur asnje ndryshim ne diferencen e pages
per femrat ne Shtetet e Bashkuara.

15:57

Seventy-seven cents to the dollar.

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2546

Shtatedhjete e shtate cent ndaj nje dollari.

16:00

If you are a black woman, 64 cents.

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2034

Nese je grua e zeze, 64 cent.

16:02

If you are a Latina, we're at 54 cents.

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2508

Nese je latino-amerikane, jemi tek 54 cent.

16:05

Do you know when the last
time those numbers went up?

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A e di cila ishte hera e fundit
qe keto shifra pesuan rritje?

16:07

2002.

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4307

Viti 2002.

16:11

We are stagnating, we are
stagnating in so many ways.

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Jemi vend-numero, vend-numero
ne shume kendveshtrime.

16:14

And I think we are not really being honest about that,

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Dhe une mendoj se nuk po
tregohemi mjaftueshem te sinqerte

16:17

for so many reasons. It's so
hard to talk about gender.

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3246

per shume arsye. Eshte e veshtire
te flasesh per problemet gjinore.

16:20

We shy away from the word "feminist,"
a word I really think we need to embrace.

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3817

Ne turperohemi nga fjala "feministe", fjale
te cilen une mendoj se duhet t'a bejme tonen.

16:24

We have to get rid of the
word bossy and bring back --

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3192

Duhet t'a harrojme fjalen prepotente
dhe te riperdorim...

16:27

(Applause)

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3160

(duartrokitje)

16:30

I think I would say in a louder voice,
we need to get rid of the word "bossy"

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4322

Mendoj se duhet t'a them kete me ze me te larte,
duhet t'a harrojme fjalen prepotente,

16:35

and bring back the word "feminist,"
because we need it.

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3061

dhe te riperdorim fjalen feministe,
sepse kjo eshte e nevojshme.

16:38

(Applause)

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1485

(duatrokitje)

16:39

PM: And we all need to do a lot more leaning in.

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3042

PM: Dhe duhet te bejme me shume perpara.

16:42

SS: A lot more leaning in.

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SS: Shume me shume.

16:44

PM: Thank you, Sheryl.

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1230

PM: Faleminderit, Sheryl.

16:45

Thanks for leaning in and saying yes.

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1234

Faleminderit qe bere perpara dhe qe the po.

16:46

SS: Thank you.

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SS: Faleminderit.

16:48

(Applause)

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(duartrokitje)

Translated by Aida Musai
Reviewed by Helena Bedalli

ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Sheryl Sandberg - COO, Facebook
As the COO at the helm of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg juggles the tasks of monetizing the world’s largest social networking site while keeping its users happy and engaged.

Why you should listen

Long before Sheryl Sandberg left Google to join Facebook as its Chief Operating Ofﬁcer in 2008, she was a fan. Today she manages Facebook’s sales, marketing, business development, human resources, public policy and communications. It’s a massive job, but one well suited to Sandberg, who not only built and managed Google’s successful online sales and operations program but also served as an economist for the World Bank and Chief of Staff at the US Treasury Department. Sandberg’s experience navigating the complex and socially sensitive world of international economics has proven useful as she and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg work to strike a balance between helping Facebook users control privacy while ﬁnding ways to monetize its most valuable asset: data.

At TEDWomen in 2010 Sandberg made the bold decision to talk about the experience of being one of very few women at the C-level of business. She noted that many women, in anticipating having a family, "lean back" from leading at work. After her TED Talk took off, Sandberg wrote the book Lean In, which has spent nearly a year on the New York Times Bestseller list. Sandberg plans to release a version of the book for graduates.

More profile about the speaker
Sheryl Sandberg | Speaker | TED.com

THE ORIGINAL VIDEO ON TED.COM

Sheryl Sandberg: Ne beme perpara... po tani? | TED Talk | TED.com