Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation
Celeste Headlee: 10 kiat melakukan perbincangan yang lebih baik
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
unfriended someone on Facebook
menghapus pertemanan di Facebook
about politics or religion,
seperti politik atau agama,
know at least one person that you avoid
sedikitnya satu orang
to talk to them?
dengan orang itu?
to have a polite conversation,
percakapan yang sopan,
of Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady":
Henry Higgins di "My Fair Lady":
and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --
dan antivaksin, subjek tersebut --
to devolve into an argument,
can't speak to one another
tidak bisa saling bicara
for it and against it, it's not normal.
itu tidak normal.
of 10,000 American adults,
atas 10.000 warga negara AS,
we are more polarized,
kita lebih terpolarisasi,
not listening to each other.
tidak saling mendengarkan.
tentang tempat tinggal,
who our friends are going to be,
we're not listening to each other.
tidak saling mendengarkan.
between talking and listening,
antara bicara dan mendengar,
we lost that balance.
kita kehilangan keseimbangan itu.
either have in your hands
baik di tangan Anda
grab them really quickly.
yang bisa segera Anda raih.
send more than a hundred texts a day.
mengirim lebih dari 100 pesan sehari.
are more likely to text their friends
lebih mungkin mengirim SMS ke teman mereka
to them face to face.
named Paul Barnwell.
bernama Paul Barnwell.
a communication project.
pada muridnya.
on a specific subject without using notes.
suatu topik tanpa melihat catatan.
that conversational competence
kompetensi berbicara mungkin
most overlooked skill we fail to teach.
dan gagal kita ajarkan.
with ideas and each other through screens,
ide-ide dan teman-teman melalui layar,
communications skills.
komunikasi interpersonal mereka.
but we have to ask ourselves:
harus bertanya pada diri sendiri:
yang lebih penting
coherent, confident conversation?"
percakapan agar koheren dan nyaman?"
berbicara dengan orang-orang:
I talk to people that I don't like.
yang saya suka maupun tidak.
deeply on a personal level.
pendapatnya berlawanan dengan saya.
a great conversation with them.
tetap menyenangkan.
or so teaching you how to talk
berikut untuk mengajari Anda berbicara
a lot of advice on this,
banyak nasihat tentang ini,
to discuss in advance,
untuk didiskusikan,
that you're paying attention,
untuk menunjukkan bahwa Anda menyimak,
or summarize it.
atau ringkaslah.
Semua itu sampah.
how to show you're paying attention
menunjukkan bahwa Anda menyimak
same skills as a professional interviewer
yang sama sebagai pewawancara profesional
how to interview people,
cara mewawancarai orang-orang,
learn how to be better conversationalists.
menjadi pembicara yang lebih baik.
without getting bored,
without offending anybody.
tanpa menyinggung siapapun.
percakapan yang menyenangkan.
We know what it's like.
walk away feeling engaged and inspired,
merasa terlibat dan terinspirasi,
like you've made a real connection
hubungan yang nyata
kebanyakan interaksi kita
can't be like that.
I'm going to walk you through all of them,
menuntun Anda melewati semuanya,
one of them and master it,
dan menguasainya,
percakapan yang lebih baik.
just set down your cell phone
bukan hanya meletakkan ponsel,
or whatever is in your hand.
yang ada di tangan Anda.
you had with your boss.
dengan bos Anda.
you're going to have for dinner.
itu,
of the conversation,
and half out of it.
or argument or pushback or growth,
sanggahan, sentilan, atau perkembangan,
why I don't allow pundits on my show:
mengundang pakar dalam acara saya:
hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.
membenci Obama, kupon makanan, dan aborsi.
dan Dick Cheney.
and Dick Cheney.
assuming that you have something to learn.
dengan asumsi Anda akan belajar sesuatu.
a setting aside of oneself.
kita perlu mengesampingkan diri sendiri.
setting aside your personal opinion.
pendapat pribadi Anda.
less and less vulnerable
relung pemikiran terdalamnya
to open up the inner recesses
bahwa Anda akan belajar sesuatu.
something to learn.
knows something that you don't."
mengetahui sesuatu yang tak kau ketahui."
what, when, where, why or how.
di mana, mengapa atau bagaimana.
you're going to get a simple answer out.
Anda akan mendapat jawaban singkat.
"Apakah Anda takut?"
powerful word in that sentence,
yang paling menonjol dalam kalimat itu,
"Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't."
adalah "Ya" atau "Tidak."
"Ya, saya sangat marah."
They're the ones that know.
Merekalah yang tahu.
"What was that like?"
semacam, "Seperti apa kesannya?"
for a moment and think about it,
berhenti sejenak dan berpikir,
a much more interesting response.
tanggapan yang lebih menarik.
will come into your mind
yang muncul di pikiran Anda
go out of your mind.
for several minutes
selama beberapa menit,
and asks a question
dengan pertanyaan
or it's already been answered.
atau yang sudah terjawab.
sudah tidak menyimak sejak dua menit lalu
stopped listening two minutes ago
of this really clever question,
pertanyaan yang cerdas,
and determined to say that.
a conversation with someone,
dengan seseorang,
that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.
bertemu Hugh Jackman di kafe.
are going to come to you.
dan merelakannya pergi.
say that you don't know.
katakan bahwa Anda tidak tahu.
especially on NPR,
that they're going on the record,
bahwa mereka sedang direkam,
about what they claim to be an expert in
ketika mengatakan mereka ahli
your experience with theirs.
pengalaman Anda dengan pengalaman mereka.
about having lost a family member,
tentang kehilangan anggota keluarga,
you lost a family member.
saat saudara Anda meninggal.
masalah pekerjaan mereka,
they're having at work,
betapa Anda benci pekerjaan Anda.
how much you hate your job.
Tidak pernah sama.
it is not about you.
ini bukan tentang Anda.
to prove how amazing you are
untuk membuktikan betapa hebatnya Anda
berapa IQ-nya, ia menjawab,
what his IQ was, and he said,
IQ-nya adalah pecundang."
about their IQs are losers."
a promotional opportunity.
Itu merendahkan dan membosankan,
and it's really boring,
or in conversations with our kids,
tentang pekerjaan, atau dengan anak kita,
over and over.
to come up with in your mind.
What they care about is you.
Yang mereka pedulikan adalah Anda.
but it is the most important one.
tapi ini paling penting.
really important people have said
orang-orang besar yang mengatakan
the number one most important skill
merupakan keterampilan terpenting
you're not learning."
kamu tidak sedang belajar."
ever listened his way out of a job."
yang pernah dipecat karena mendengarkan."
I'm not interested in.
hal-hal yang tidak menarik.
at about 225 word per minute,
rata-rata 225 kata per menit,
500 words per minute.
hingga 500 kata per menit.
those other 275 words.
yang mengisi 275 kata lainnya.
it takes effort and energy
you're not in a conversation.
Anda tidak sedang berbincang.
barely related sentences
kalimat-kalimat tidak nyambung
with the intent to understand.
bukan karena ingin mengerti.
and it's this one: Be brief.
ini dia: bicaralah dengan singkat.
short enough to retain interest,
cukup pendek untuk menyita perhatian,
the subject. -- My Sister]
subjeknya. -- Saudara Saya]
basic concept, and it is this one:
ke konsep dasar yang sama, yaitu:
with a very famous grandfather,
kakek saya yang terkenal.
to talk to my grandparents,
dengan kakek-nenek saya,
my mother would come over to us,
ibu saya menghampiri kami,
He's a Russian ballet dancer."
Dia penari balet dari Rusia."
saya berasumsi bahwa
amazing thing about them.
tersembunyi sesuatu yang hebat.
it's what makes me a better host.
pembawa acara yang lebih baik.
as often as I possibly can,
be prepared to be amazed.
bersiaplah untuk kagum.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Celeste Headlee - Writer and radio hostCeleste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation.
Why you should listen
Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting.
Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.
Headlee holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She appears on the album “Classically Blue” from gospel artist Lea Gilmore. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still.
Celeste Headlee | Speaker | TED.com