Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation
Celeste Headlee: Zece sfaturi pentru o conversaţie mai bună
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
din lista de pe Facebook
unfriended someone on Facebook
despre politică sau religie,
about politics or religion,
know at least one person that you avoid
to talk to them?
nu vreți să îi vorbiți?
to have a polite conversation,
trebuia doar să urmezi sfatul
of Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady":
și anti-vaccinarea, nici aceste subiecte
and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --
to devolve into an argument,
să degenereze în ceartă,
can't speak to one another
nu-şi pot vorbi
cele mai banale
for it and against it, it's not normal.
şi atacate de alţii, nu e normală.
of 10,000 American adults,
pe 10.000 de adulţi americani,
we are more polarized,
suntem mai polarizaţi,
not listening to each other.
who our friends are going to be,
cu cine să fim prieteni,
we're not listening to each other.
că nu ne ascultăm unii pe alţii.
between talking and listening,
între vorbire şi ascultare
we lost that balance.
am pierdut acel echilibru.
either have in your hands
ori le aveţi în mâini
grab them really quickly.
ca să le apucaţi rapid.
send more than a hundred texts a day.
trimit mai mult de 100 de SMS-uri pe zi.
are more likely to text their friends
mai degrabă trimit SMS prietenilor
to them face to face.
faţă în faţă cu aceştia.
named Paul Barnwell.
pe nume Paul Barnwell.
a communication project.
un proiect de comunicare.
on a specific subject without using notes.
despre un subiect fără să folosească note.
that conversational competence
că competenţa conversaţională
most overlooked skill we fail to teach.
abilitate pe care nu reuşim să o predăm.
with ideas and each other through screens,
sau unul pe altul prin ecrane,
de comunicare interpersonală.
communications skills.
but we have to ask ourselves:
prostească, dar trebuie să ne întrebăm:
coherent, confident conversation?"
cu încredere conversaţii coerente?
I talk to people that I don't like.
şi cu inşi pe care nu-i plac.
deeply on a personal level.
în dezacord profund la nivel personal.
a great conversation with them.
or so teaching you how to talk
cam 10 minute învăţându-vă să vorbiţi
a lot of advice on this,
multe sfaturi despre asta,
to discuss in advance,
la subiecte interesante,
that you're paying attention,
ca să arăţi că eşti atent,
or summarize it.
sau fă un rezumat.
how to show you're paying attention
să arătaţi că sunteţi atenţi
same skills as a professional interviewer
exact aceleaşi abilităţi
how to interview people,
learn how to be better conversationalists.
cum să fiţi interlocutori mai buni.
without getting bored,
fără să vă plictisiţi
without offending anybody.
fără să jigniţi pe nimeni.
We know what it's like.
walk away feeling engaged and inspired,
rămâi cu angajament şi inspiraţie,
like you've made a real connection
o legătură reală
can't be like that.
interacţiunilor voastre să nu fie aşa.
I'm going to walk you through all of them,
Vom trece prin toate,
one of them and master it,
şi o stăpâniţi perfect,
de conversaţii mai bune.
just set down your cell phone
să lăsaţi telefonul deoparte,
or whatever is in your hand.
sau orice aveţi în mână.
you had with your boss.
pe care aţi avut-o cu şeful.
you're going to have for dinner.
of the conversation,
and half out of it.
şi jumătate afară.
or argument or pushback or growth,
respingerea sau dezvoltarea,
why I don't allow pundits on my show:
nu primesc experţi în emisiunea mea:
hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.
pe Obama, bonurile de masă şi avorturile.
companiile petroliere şi pe Dick Cheney.
and Dick Cheney.
assuming that you have something to learn.
cu premisa că ai ceva de învăţat.
a setting aside of oneself.
lăsarea ego-ului deoparte.
setting aside your personal opinion.
să-ţi laşi deoparte opiniile personale.
less and less vulnerable
tot mai puţin vulnerabil
to open up the inner recesses
cotloanele cele mai adânci
something to learn.
că aveţi ceva de învăţat.
knows something that you don't."
întâlni, ştiu ceva ce voi nu ştiţi.”
what, when, where, why or how.
ce, când, unde, de ce sau cum.
you're going to get a simple answer out.
vei primi un răspuns simplu.
cuvânt din propoziţie, care e „îngrozit”,
powerful word in that sentence,
"Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't."
sau „Nu, n-am fost”.
They're the ones that know.
Ei sunt cei care ştiu.
"What was that like?"
„Cum a fost?”
for a moment and think about it,
să se oprească puţin pentru a se gândi
a much more interesting response.
mult mai interesant.
will come into your mind
vor apărea gânduri
go out of your mind.
for several minutes
pentru câteva minute,
and asks a question
or it's already been answered.
sau la care s-a răspuns deja.
stopped listening two minutes ago
a încetat să asculte de două minute
of this really clever question,
la această întrebare inteligentă
and determined to say that.
a conversation with someone,
şi ne aducem aminte
that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.
pe Hugh Jackman într-o cafenea.
are going to come to you.
întâmplări şi idei.
şi să le lăsaţi să plece.
say that you don't know.
spune că nu ştii.
especially on NPR,
that they're going on the record,
că sunt înregistraţi,
about what they claim to be an expert in
afirmă că sunt experţi în ceva
prea prudent decât să greșim.
your experience with theirs.
experienţele cu ale lor.
about having lost a family member,
când v-aţi pierdut o rudă.
you lost a family member.
problemele lor la serviciu,
they're having at work,
vă urâţi slujba.
how much you hate your job.
Niciodată nu e acelaşi lucru.
it is not about you.
to prove how amazing you are
ca să demonstrezi cât de uimitor eşti
pe Stephen Hawking ce IQ are şi el a zis:
what his IQ was, and he said,
about their IQs are losers."
care se laudă cu IQ-urile sunt rataţi.”
a promotional opportunity.
oportunităţi de promovare.
and it's really boring,
or in conversations with our kids,
sau în cele cu copiii noştri,
over and over.
to come up with in your mind.
să vi le amintiţi.
What they care about is you.
but it is the most important one.
really important people have said
cu adevărat importanţi au spus
the number one most important skill
cea mai importantă abilitate
you're not learning."
ever listened his way out of a job."
nu şi-a ascultat calea spre concediere.”
I'm not interested in.
ceva ce nu mă interesează.
at about 225 word per minute,
cam 225 de cuvinte pe minut,
500 words per minute.
500 de cuvinte pe minut.
those other 275 words.
completează celelalte 275 de cuvinte.
it takes effort and energy
you're not in a conversation.
nu eşti într-o conversaţie.
barely related sentences
propoziţii fără noimă
with the intent to understand.
cu intenţia de a înţelege.
and it's this one: Be brief.
short enough to retain interest,
destul de scurtă ca să reţină atenţia,
the subject. -- My Sister]
problema. Sora mea]
basic concept, and it is this one:
la acelaşi lucru, şi anume:
with a very famous grandfather,
to talk to my grandparents,
ca să discute cu bunicii mei
my mother would come over to us,
He's a Russian ballet dancer."
El e un balerin rus.”
amazing thing about them.
au abilităţi secrete uimitoare.
it's what makes me a better host.
e ceea ce mă face o gazdă mai bună.
as often as I possibly can,
cât de des pot,
be prepared to be amazed.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Celeste Headlee - Writer and radio hostCeleste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation.
Why you should listen
Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting.
Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.
Headlee holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She appears on the album “Classically Blue” from gospel artist Lea Gilmore. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still.
Celeste Headlee | Speaker | TED.com