Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation
Celeste Headlee: 10 būdų geriau kalbėtis
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
unfriended someone on Facebook
Feisbuke,
about politics or religion,
apie politiką ar religiją,
know at least one person that you avoid
kurio vengiate,
to talk to them?
to have a polite conversation,
mandagiai pasišnekėti,
of Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady":
patarimu iš „Mano puikioji ledi“:
and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --
ir judėjimų prieš skiepijimą laikais –
to devolve into an argument,
can't speak to one another
vieni su kitais kalbėtis
for it and against it, it's not normal.
tai nėra normalu.
of 10,000 American adults,
su 10 000 suaugusių amerikiečių
we are more polarized,
esame labiau susipoliarizavę,
per visą istoriją.
į kompromisus
not listening to each other.
vieni kitų.
who our friends are going to be,
kas bus mūsų draugai,
iki tada.
we're not listening to each other.
vieni kitų.
between talking and listening,
tarp kalbėjimo ir klausymosi,
we lost that balance.
pamiršome.
either have in your hands
turite rankose
grab them really quickly.
send more than a hundred texts a day.
kasdien parašo virš šimto žinučių.
are more likely to text their friends
verčiau išsiųstų draugams žinutę,
to them face to face.
yra puikus straipsnis.
named Paul Barnwell.
vardu Paul Barnwell.
a communication project.
projektą.
on a specific subject without using notes.
kalbėti duota tema be užrašų.
that conversational competence
most overlooked skill we fail to teach.
kurio mes neišmokome.
with ideas and each other through screens,
reaguoja į idėjas ir vieni kitus,
communications skills.
but we have to ask ourselves:
bet turime savęs paklausti:
kuris 21-ame amžiuje
coherent, confident conversation?"
nuoseklų pokalbį?
vairuotojais,
mokytojais,
I talk to people that I don't like.
Kalbu su žmonėmis, kurie man nepatinka.
deeply on a personal level.
nesutinku kaip asmuo.
a great conversation with them.
or so teaching you how to talk
praleisti mokydama jus kaip kalbėti
a lot of advice on this,
daug patarimų,
to discuss in advance,
that you're paying attention,
kad parodytumėte jog klausotės,
or summarize it.
ir tai apibendrinti.
how to show you're paying attention
kad klausotės,
same skills as a professional interviewer
ir dirbdama profesionalia interviu vedėja,
how to interview people,
learn how to be better conversationalists.
geresniais pašnekovais.
without getting bored,
without offending anybody.
We know what it's like.
walk away feeling engaged and inspired,
įtraukti ir pagauti įkvėpimo,
like you've made a real connection
can't be like that.
negali būti tokie geri.
I'm going to walk you through all of them,
Paaiškinsiu kiekvieną,
one of them and master it,
vieną ir ją gerai išmokti,
bendrauti.
vienu metu.
just set down your cell phone
or whatever is in your hand.
ar kad ir ką laikote rankose.
you had with your boss.
su direktoriumi.
you're going to have for dinner.
of the conversation,
and half out of it.
or argument or pushback or growth,
susilaukti kritikos ar tobulėti,
why I don't allow pundits on my show:
savo laidose neleidžiu žinovų:
hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.
maisto talonų ir abortų.
and Dick Cheney.
ir Dick Cheney.
assuming that you have something to learn.
su nuostata, kad galite kažko išmokti.
a setting aside of oneself.
reikia save pasidėti į šalį.
setting aside your personal opinion.
asmeninę nuomonę.
less and less vulnerable
to open up the inner recesses
something to learn.
ką nors išmokti.
knows something that you don't."
kada sutiksite, žinos kažką, ko nežinote“.
iš žurnalistų.
what, when, where, why or how.
„kur“, „ką“, „kur“, „kodėl“ ir „kaip“.
you're going to get a simple answer out.
gausite paprastą atsakymą.
powerful word in that sentence,
tame klausime,
"Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't."
arba „ne“.
They're the ones that know.
Juk jie tai žino geriausiai.
"What was that like?"
„Kaip tai įvyko?“
for a moment and think about it,
minutėlę pagalvoti,
a much more interesting response.
will come into your mind
ateis minčių,
go out of your mind.
for several minutes
and asks a question
ir užduoda klausimą
or it's already been answered.
kas jau atsakyta.
stopped listening two minutes ago
prieš porą minučių,
of this really clever question,
and determined to say that.
a conversation with someone,
that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.
kai kavinėje sutikome Hugh Jackman.
are going to come to you.
say that you don't know.
taip ir sakykit.
especially on NPR,
that they're going on the record,
about what they claim to be an expert in
kokiose temose yra žinovai
Klyskite atsargumo pusėje.
your experience with theirs.
su kitų žmonių potyriais.
about having lost a family member,
šeimos narį,
you lost a family member.
kaip jūs praradote šeimos narį.
they're having at work,
how much you hate your job.
savojo.
Niekada nėra tas pats.
it is not about you.
ne apie jus.
to prove how amazing you are
įrodinėti, kokie esate puikūs
what his IQ was, and he said,
Stephen Hawking, koks jo IQ; jis atsakė
about their IQs are losers."
yra nevykėliai.“
a promotional opportunity.
pasireklamuoti.
and it's really boring,
ir yra baisiai nuobodu,
or in conversations with our kids,
ar kalbėdami su savo vaikais,
over and over.
to come up with in your mind.
prisiminti.
What they care about is you.
Neminėkite jų.
but it is the most important one.
really important people have said
labai svarbūs žmonės pakartojo,
the number one most important skill
svarbiausias įgūdis,
you're not learning."
ever listened his way out of a job."
nėra iš darbo išmestas klausant.“
I'm not interested in.
kas man nėra įdomu.
at about 225 word per minute,
225 žodžius per minutę,
500 words per minute.
žodžių per minutę.
those other 275 words.
275 žodžius.
it takes effort and energy
ir jėgų,
you're not in a conversation.
tai ne pokalbis.
barely related sentences
vargiai susijusius sakinius
with the intent to understand.
and it's this one: Be brief.
ir ji yra tai: „kalbėkite glaustai.
short enough to retain interest,
užtenkamai trumpas išlaikyti dėmesį,
the subject. -- My Sister]
kad apimtų temą. – Mano sesuo]
basic concept, and it is this one:
paprastą mintį:
with a very famous grandfather,
kone ritualą.
to talk to my grandparents,
su mano seneliais
my mother would come over to us,
He's a Russian ballet dancer."
Jis rusų baleto šokėjas.“
amazing thing about them.
paslėpto, neįtikėtino.
it's what makes me a better host.
gera pokalbių laidų vedėja.
as often as I possibly can,
be prepared to be amazed.
būti nustebinti.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Celeste Headlee - Writer and radio hostCeleste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation.
Why you should listen
Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting.
Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.
Headlee holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She appears on the album “Classically Blue” from gospel artist Lea Gilmore. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still.
Celeste Headlee | Speaker | TED.com