Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation
Селеста Хэдлі: 10 шляхоў стаць лепшым суразмоўцам
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
unfriended someone on Facebook
about politics or religion,
абразлівае наконт палітыкі, рэлігіі,
know at least one person that you avoid
чалавека, якога вы пазбягаеце,
to talk to them?
размяўляць з ім?
to have a polite conversation,
парадаў з "Маёй выдатнай ледзі":
of Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady":
на адмову ад прышчэпак, гэтыя тэмы --
and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --
to devolve into an argument,
адзін з адным,
can't speak to one another
распальваюць спрэчкі, --
for it and against it, it's not normal.
of 10,000 American adults,
дарослых амерыканцаў
we are more polarized,
палярызаванае,
not listening to each other.
аднаго.
who our friends are going to be,
сябрамі,
we're not listening to each other.
аднаго.
between talking and listening,
і слуханнем,
we lost that balance.
баланс.
either have in your hands
руках
grab them really quickly.
дастаць.
send more than a hundred texts a day.
дзень.
are more likely to text their friends
перавагу паведамленням,
to them face to face.
named Paul Barnwell.
a communication project.
on a specific subject without using notes.
без апоры на запісы.
that conversational competence
дыялог.
most overlooked skill we fail to teach.
with ideas and each other through screens,
размаўляючы адзін з адным праз маніторы,
communications skills.
but we have to ask ourselves:
павінны спытаць сябе:
coherent, confident conversation?"
ўпэўнена весці гутарку?
грузавікоў,
садках,
I talk to people that I don't like.
З людзьмі, якіх я не люблю.
deeply on a personal level.
на асабістым узроўні.
a great conversation with them.
размову.
or so teaching you how to talk
навучыць вас размаўляць
a lot of advice on this,
гэты конт.
to discuss in advance,
абмеркавання,
that you're paying attention,
паказаць, што ўважліва слухаеце,
or summarize it.
ці падсумоўвайце.
how to show you're paying attention
гутаркай.
same skills as a professional interviewer
я карыстаюся дакладна такімі ж навыкамі,
how to interview people,
learn how to be better conversationalists.
лепшымі суразмоўцамі.
without getting bored,
з нуды,
without offending anybody.
крыўдзячы.
размовы.
We know what it's like.
walk away feeling engaged and inspired,
натхненне,
like you've made a real connection
ўсталяваць сувязь,
can't be like that.
I'm going to walk you through all of them,
зараз пройдземся.
one of them and master it,
авалодаеце ім,
лепшай размовы.
адначасова.
just set down your cell phone
мабільныя тэлефоны,
or whatever is in your hand.
руцэ.
you had with your boss.
you're going to have for dinner.
вячэру.
of the conversation,
and half out of it.
or argument or pushback or growth,
іншых на гэты конт,
why I don't allow pundits on my show:
эфір разумнікаў.
hate Obama and food stamps and abortion.
будзе ненавідзець Абаму і аборты,
and Dick Cheney.
assuming that you have something to learn.
магчымасцю даведацца штосьці новае.
a setting aside of oneself.
адгарадзіцца ад самога сябе".
setting aside your personal opinion.
сваім асабістым меркаваннем.
гэтага,
less and less vulnerable
to open up the inner recesses
something to learn.
knows something that you don't."
ведае штосьці, чаго не ведаеце вы".
"што", "калі", "дзе", "чаму" і "як".
what, when, where, why or how.
you're going to get a simple answer out.
просты адказ.
powerful word in that sentence,
моцнае слова ў пытанні,
"Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't."
будзе "так" ці "не".
"Так, я раззлаваўся".
They're the ones that know.
Ён лепш ведае, што адчуваў.
"What was that like?"
for a moment and think about it,
хвіліну і сапраўды задумацца,
a much more interesting response.
will come into your mind
go out of your mind.
for several minutes
распавядае,
and asks a question
да тэмы ці на якое госць ужо адказаў.
or it's already been answered.
stopped listening two minutes ago
некалькі хвілінаў таму,
of this really clever question,
пытанне
and determined to say that.
a conversation with someone,
that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop.
Х'ю Джэкмана ў кафэ.
are going to come to you.
ідэі.
say that you don't know.
прызнайцеся ў гэтым.
больш на Нацыянальным Грамадскім Радыё,
especially on NPR,
that they're going on the record,
about what they claim to be an expert in
заявах
your experience with theirs.
вопыту суразмоўцаў.
about having lost a family member,
людзей,
you lost a family member.
тэму.
they're having at work,
how much you hate your job.
Няма аднолькавых гісторый.
it is not about you.
to prove how amazing you are
каб даказаць сваю крутасць
what his IQ was, and he said,
IQ, і ён адказаў:
about their IQs are losers."
сваім IQ, -- няўдачнікі".
a promotional opportunity.
сябе.
and it's really boring,
or in conversations with our kids,
over and over.
рознымі словамі.
to come up with in your mind.
What they care about is you.
Апусціце іх.
but it is the most important one.
really important people have said
the number one most important skill
самым-самым важным навыкам
you're not learning."
ever listened his way out of a job."
з працы за тое, што яны шмат слухалі".
размаўляць.
I'm not interested in.
нецікава.
ідэнтычнасць.
at about 225 word per minute,
225 словаў за хвіліну,
500 words per minute.
словаў за хвіліну.
those other 275 words.
адсутныя 275 словаў.
it takes effort and energy
энергіі,
you're not in a conversation.
ведзяце дыялог.
barely related sentences
ледзь звязаныя сказы
with the intent to understand.
зразумець,
and it's this one: Be brief.
short enough to retain interest,
дастаткова кароткая, каб зацікавіць,
самае галоўнае. -- Мая сястра]
the subject. -- My Sister]
basic concept, and it is this one:
у адзін просты прынцып:
with a very famous grandfather,
розныя людзі,
to talk to my grandparents,
my mother would come over to us,
падыходзіла да нас
He's a Russian ballet dancer."
яна -- артыстка рускага балета".
amazing thing about them.
it's what makes me a better host.
мяне добрай вядучай эфіра.
as often as I possibly can,
be prepared to be amazed.
гатовыя здзіўляцца.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Celeste Headlee - Writer and radio hostCeleste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation.
Why you should listen
Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting.
Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.
Headlee holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She appears on the album “Classically Blue” from gospel artist Lea Gilmore. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still.
Celeste Headlee | Speaker | TED.com