Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
كيو ستارك: لِمَ عليكم التحدث إلى الغرباء
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
And, in some ways, they are.
وهي بطريقة أو بأخرى كذلك.
or what the day is like.
documenting my experiences
really beautiful was going on.
waiting for the light to change,
أنتظرُ إشارة المرور لأن تتغير،
in the street on the storm drain,
فوق مجرى تصريف مياه الأمطار،
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
ممر المشاة.
so happy that he'd saved me.
أنه أنقذني.
my existence as a person
that strangers are dangerous by default,
بطيبعة الحال،
that they might hurt us.
قد يؤذوننا.
because we have no context.
مكانتهم.
and making choices,
واتخاذ خياراتنا،
I say that to her,
but as a woman, particularly,
on the street has the best intentions.
أفضل النوايا.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
التعلم متى أن لا نكون كذلك،
we have to be afraid.
علينا أن نكون خائفين.
for learning about them.
معرفة شيء عنهم.
about people as individuals.
who travels frequently
as a real, individual person.
على حقيقتكم.
other people see you that way, too.
الآخرين على رؤيتكم بهذه الطريقة أيضًا.
has to do with intimacy.
علاقة بالحميمية.
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
التفاعلات السريعة لشعور
"fleeting intimacy."
"المودة العابرة."
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
صدى ومعنى عاطفي.
of the storm drain by the old man,
تصريف مياه الأمطار من قبل الرجل العجوز،
on my train on the way to work.
في القطار في طريقي إلى العمل.
that people often feel more comfortable
يشعرون بالراحة أكثر
about their inner selves with strangers
الداخلية مع الغرباء
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
من قبل الغرباء.
with great lament.
مع كثير من الرثاء.
better than spouses!"
these interactions can be;
ذات أهمية؛
as much as we need our friends
so well with strangers?
مع الغرباء؟
it's a quick interaction.
you're never going to see again, right?
لن نراه أبدًا مرةً أخرى. أليس كذلك؟
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
أقرباء لنا.
that your friend or your spouse
that you want to leave early.
الحفلة مبكرًا.
to start from scratch.
how we feel about them;
وكيف نشعر اتجاههم؛
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
we tend to follow.
depending on what country you're in,
التي تتواجدون فيها.
between civility and privacy.
الكياسة والخصوصية.
towards each other on the street.
أحدهما الآخر في الشارع.
from a distance.
they'll look away,
not to interact at all.
التفاعل إطلاقًا.
to talking to strangers,
الحديث إلى الغرباء،
miss their stop on the bus
في حافلة الباص
that they need to get around.
يحتاجون للمرور من جانبه.
shuffling of bags
that you need to get past,
للمرور،
culture of hospitality.
for a sip of water.
عن رشفة من الماء.
to invite you home for coffee.
لتناول القهوة.
most clearly when they're broken,
بشكل أفضل عندما يتم انتهاكها.
what the right thing to do is.
ينبغي القيام به.
is where the action is.
مشوقا.
I really want you to do this. OK?
حقًا أن تقوموا بهذا. حسناً؟
or in the hallway here, smile.
أوهنا في الممر، ابتسموا.
that you both might see and comment on,
ويعلق عليه،
and see if starts a conversation.
ولاحظوا ما إذا كانت المحادثة ستبدأ.
fabulous shoes right now,
as far as giving compliments goes.
نوع من المجاملات المطروحة.
about their awesome shoes.
عن أحذيتهم الرائعة.
the dogs and babies principle.
الكلاب والأطفال من قبل.
to talk to someone on the street;
إلى شخص ما في الشارع؛
they're going to respond.
to their dog or their baby.
إلى كلبهم أو طفلهم.
للتحدث أكثر.
في المرة القادمة
I talked about of feeling understood.
تحدثتُ عنها فيما يتعلق بشعوركم بالادراك.
or, "Where does he live?"
أو "أين يسكنُ؟"
لفقدانهم أعزاء.
disclosure with disclosure,
you're making beautiful interruptions
تصنعون مقاطعات جميلة
of your daily life
you're missing out on all of that.
فإنكم تفوتون كل هذا.
more time teaching ourselves?
لتعليم أنفسنا؟
that make us so suspicious of each other.
مرتابين من بعضنا البعض.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com