Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: Hvorfor du burde snakke med fremmede
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
And, in some ways, they are.
Og det er det på nogle punkter.
or what the day is like.
eller hvordan dagen er.
documenting my experiences
at dokumentere mine oplevelser
really beautiful was going on.
at noget meget smukt foregik
waiting for the light to change,
og ventede på at lyset skulle skifte,
in the street on the storm drain,
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
og en slags gammel-mands hat,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
Jeg trådte tilbage på fortorvet.
so happy that he'd saved me.
for at han havde redet mig.
my existence as a person
at min eksistens som person
that strangers are dangerous by default,
at fremmede er farlige,
that they might hurt us.
at de kan såre os.
because we have no context.
fordi vi ikke har nogen forbindelse.
and making choices,
opfattelsesevne og lave valg
I say that to her,
når jeg siger det til hende,
but as a woman, particularly,
men især fordi jeg er en kvinde,
on the street has the best intentions.
har gode hensigter.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
at lære hvornår man ikke skal være det,
we have to be afraid.
i stedet for vores frygt.
i stedet for kategorier
for learning about them.
til at lære om dem.
about people as individuals.
på mennesker som individer.
who travels frequently
som hyppigt rejser
as a real, individual person.
virkeligt, enkelt individ.
other people see you that way, too.
til at se dig på samme måde.
has to do with intimacy.
handler om intimitet.
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
kan føre til en følelse,
"fleeting intimacy."
"flygtig nærvær."
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
der har emotionel resonans og betydning.
of the storm drain by the old man,
fra drænets dødsfælde,
on my train on the way to work.
på vej til arbejde.
that people often feel more comfortable
at andre folk føler sig bedre tilpas
about their inner selves with strangers
omkring deres indre jeg med fremmede,
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
with great lament.
med stor beklagelse.
better than spouses!"
bedre end ægtefæller!"
these interactions can be;
udvekslinger kan være,
as much as we need our friends
på højde med vore venner
so well with strangers?
kommunikere så godt med fremmede?
it's a quick interaction.
det en hurtig udveksling,
you're never going to see again, right?
du ikke kommer til at se igen, ikke?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
de folk vi er tætte med.
that your friend or your spouse
at din ven eller ægtefælle
that you want to leave early.
to start from scratch.
how we feel about them;
hvordan vi har det med dem,
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
at tale med fremmede gør noget,
we tend to follow.
depending on what country you're in,
alt efter hvilket land du er i,
between civility and privacy.
mellem høflighed og privatliv.
towards each other on the street.
går mod hinanden på gaden.
from a distance.
they'll look away,
kigger de væk,
not to interact at all.
for ikke at kommunikere overhovedet.
to talking to strangers,
til at snakke med fremmede,
miss their stop on the bus
that they need to get around.
til nogen de skal udenom.
shuffling of bags
at rode med tasker
that you need to get past,
til at sige at du skal forbi
culture of hospitality.
kultur for gæstfrihed.
for a sip of water.
hinanden for en tår vand.
to invite you home for coffee.
at de invitere dig hjem til kaffe.
most clearly when they're broken,
regler når de er brudt,
what the right thing to do is.
hvordan man gør tingene der.
is where the action is.
er det oftest der, hvor spændingen er.
I really want you to do this. OK?
vil jeg gerne have at i gør det her, OK?
or in the hallway here, smile.
eller gangen her, smil.
that you both might see and comment on,
kan se og kommentere på.
og se om det starter en samtale.
and see if starts a conversation.
at ligge mærke til,
mærke til folks sko.
fabulous shoes right now,
as far as giving compliments goes.
hvad komplimenter angår.
about their awesome shoes.
om deres fede sko.
the dogs and babies principle.
hunde og baby princippet.
to talk to someone on the street;
med nogen på gaden.
they're going to respond.
to their dog or their baby.
med deres hund eller baby.
udfordre jer til at gøre
I talked about of feeling understood.
jeg talte om, af at føle sig forstået.
or, "Where does he live?"
eller "Hvor bor han?"
disclosure with disclosure,
you're making beautiful interruptions
laver du vidunderlige afbrydelser
of your daily life
forløb på dit liv
you're missing out on all of that.
går du glip af alt det.
more time teaching ourselves?
mere tid på at lære os selv?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
som gør os mistænkelige på hinanden.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com