Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: Kodėl verta kalbėtis su nepažįstamaisiais?
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
And, in some ways, they are.
Tam tikra prasme, taip ir yra.
or what the day is like.
ar kokia yra diena.
kalbėjimo su nepažįstamaisiais.
documenting my experiences
pradėjau dokumentuoti savo patirtis,
really beautiful was going on.
tikrai nuostabaus.
waiting for the light to change,
laukdama žalios šviesos,
in the street on the storm drain,
ant nutekamojo vamzdžio,
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
užsimaukšlinęs skrybėlę,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
Grįžau ant šaligatvio.
so happy that he'd saved me.
toks laimingas, kad mane išgelbėjo.
my existence as a person
kad mano kaip žmogaus egzistavimas
that strangers are dangerous by default,
kad nepažįstamieji yra pavojingi,
that they might hurt us.
kad jie gali mus įskaudinti.
nėra pavojingi.
because we have no context.
nes nežinome konteksto.
and making choices,
ir priėmę sprendimus,
„nepažįstamojo“ apibrėžimu.
I say that to her,
but as a woman, particularly,
on the street has the best intentions.
turi gerus ketinimus.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
bet svarbu žinoti, kada tokia nebūti,
we have to be afraid.
for learning about them.
juos pažinti.
nepažįstamąjį, draugą
priklausančia tai kategorijai.
about people as individuals.
žmonių kaip individų.
who travels frequently
kuri dažnai keliauja viena
as a real, individual person.
tave pastebėtų kaip tikrą savitą žmogų.
other people see you that way, too.
į tave žiūrėti taip pat.
has to do with intimacy.
yra susijęs su intymumu.
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
gali suteikti jausmą,
"fleeting intimacy."
„trumpalaikiu intymumu“.
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
emocijas sužadinantis patyrimas.
of the storm drain by the old man,
nutekamojo vamzdžio spąstų,
on my train on the way to work.
pakeliui į darbą.
that people often feel more comfortable
dažnai jaučiasi patogiau
about their inner selves with strangers
nepažįstamiesiems
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
suprasti nepažįstamųjų.
with great lament.
su didžiuliu apgailestavimu.
better than spouses!"
vienas kitą geriau nei sutuoktiniai!“
these interactions can be;
as much as we need our friends
kaip ir mums reikia draugų
so well with strangers?
mes bendraujame taip lengvai?
it's a quick interaction.
you're never going to see again, right?
jei to žmogaus daugiau nebesutiksi, ar ne?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
mums artimų žmonių atžvilgiu.
kad jie perskaitys mūsų mintis.
that your friend or your spouse
kad draugas ar sutuoktinis
that you want to leave early.
kad jūs norite išeiti anksčiau.
to start from scratch.
mes pradedame nuo pradžių.
how we feel about them;
kaip dėl jų jaučiamės,
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
yra svarbu kalbėtis su nepažįstamaisiais,
we tend to follow.
depending on what country you're in,
priklausomai nuo to, kurioje šalyje
between civility and privacy.
towards each other on the street.
einančius vienas link kito gatve.
from a distance.
iš toliau.
they'll look away,
jie žvilgsnius nusuks,
not to interact at all.
kad pavyktų nebendrauti.
to talking to strangers,
kalbėti su nepažįstamaisiais,
miss their stop on the bus
that they need to get around.
kurį turi apeiti autobuse.
shuffling of bags
that you need to get past,
kad praneštų apie savo norą praeiti,
culture of hospitality.
svetingumo kultūra.
for a sip of water.
gurkšnio vandens.
to invite you home for coffee.
most clearly when they're broken,
kai jas kas nors sulaužo
what the right thing to do is.
kaip reikia elgtis.
is where the action is.
prasideda įdomumas.
I really want you to do this. OK?
aš tikrai noriu, kad jūs tai pabandytumėt.
kas užmezgė su jumis akių kontaktą.
or in the hallway here, smile.
ar koridoriuje, nusišypsokite.
that you both might see and comment on,
kurį abu matote ir galite pakomentuoti,
ir galbūt užsimegs pokalbis.
and see if starts a conversation.
fabulous shoes right now,
as far as giving compliments goes.
jie yra pakankamai neutralūs.
about their awesome shoes.
apie savo puikius batus.
the dogs and babies principle.
šunų ir kūdikių fenomeną.
to talk to someone on the street;
su kažkuo gatvėje,
they're going to respond.
to their dog or their baby.
su jų šuniu ar kūdikiu.
gali spręsti,
kuriam noriu jus pastūmėti,
pasijusti labai pažeidžiami,
apie save.
I talked about of feeling understood.
kaip jau pasakojau anksčiau.
or, "Where does he live?"
ar „Kur jis gyvena?“
savo netekties istorija.
disclosure with disclosure,
atsakome atvirumu,
you're making beautiful interruptions
jūs gražiai pertraukiate
of your daily life
you're missing out on all of that.
jūs viso šito netenkate.
apie nepažįstamuosius.
more time teaching ourselves?
pamokytume save?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
dėl kurių nepasitikime vieni kitais.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com