Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: Kenapa Anda harus bicara dengan orang asing
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
yang tidak kita kenal
And, in some ways, they are.
Dan kadang, memang demikian adanya.
or what the day is like.
kabar Anda atau cuaca hari itu.
mengucapkannya adalah:
bicara dengan orang asing.
saya mendengarkan.
documenting my experiences
mendokumentasikan pengalaman saya
really beautiful was going on.
suatu hal indah yang sedang terjadi.
waiting for the light to change,
di persimpangan jalan
in the street on the storm drain,
di jalan di tengah hujan badai,
saya bisa lebih cepat sampai.
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
mantel panjang dan "topi orang tua,"
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
seperti yang dikatakannya.
apa yang mungkin terjadi.
so happy that he'd saved me.
gembira telah menyelamatkan saya.
my existence as a person
keberadaan saya sebagai manusia
that strangers are dangerous by default,
orang asing itu berbahaya,
that they might hurt us.
mereka mungkin menyakiti kita.
tidak berbahaya.
because we have no context.
karena kita tidak punya konteks.
and making choices,
dan membuat pilihan,
"orang asing."
I say that to her,
saya berkata begitu,
but as a woman, particularly,
tapi sebagai perempuan khususnya,
on the street has the best intentions.
di jalan punya niat baik.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
kapan untuk tidak bersikap ramah,
we have to be afraid.
kita harus takut (pada orang asing).
alih-alih rasa takut kita.
kategorisasi
yang digunakan otak kita.
for learning about them.
untuk mempelajari mereka.
muda, tua,
di dalam kategori itu.
about people as individuals.
setiap orang sebagai individu.
who travels frequently
yang sering melakukan perjalanan
tidak kenal siapa pun.
as a real, individual person.
sebagai sebagai seorang individu nyata.
other people see you that way, too.
seperti itu.
has to do with intimacy.
berhubungan dengan keintiman.
a little counterintuitive,
sedikit berlawanan,
can lead to a feeling
dapat menimbulkan perasaan
"fleeting intimacy."
"keintiman sekilas."
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
yang memiliki resonansi emosi dan makna.
of the storm drain by the old man,
jebakan maut badai oleh seorang pria tua,
bagian dari satu komunitas
on my train on the way to work.
di kereta menuju ke kantor.
that people often feel more comfortable
orang-orang merasa lebih nyaman
about their inner selves with strangers
diri mereka kepada orang asing
and their families --
dan keluarga mereka --
more understood by strangers.
lebih dipahami oleh orang asing.
with great lament.
besar-besaran.
better than spouses!"
lebih baik dari pasangan!"
these interactions can be;
dengan orang asing;
memberi sesuatu yang kita butuhkan,
as much as we need our friends
teman dan keluarga kita.
so well with strangers?
dengan orang asing?
it's a quick interaction.
ini adalah interaksi singkat.
yang takkan pernah Anda temui lagi, kan?
you're never going to see again, right?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
orang-orang yang dekat dengan kita.
that your friend or your spouse
teman atau pasangan Anda
that you want to leave early.
Anda ingin pergi lebih cepat.
to start from scratch.
kita harus memulai dari awal.
how we feel about them;
perasaan kita tentang mereka;
understand us a little better.
kita sedikit lebih baik.
that talking to strangers matters,
berbicara dengan orang asing itu penting,
we tend to follow.
yang cenderung kita ikuti.
depending on what country you're in,
di negara mana Anda berada,
between civility and privacy.
antara kesopanan dan privasi.
(bersikap acuh di ruang publik).
towards each other on the street.
ke arah satu sama lain di jalan.
from a distance.
dari kejauhan.
they'll look away,
mereka mengalihkan pandangan,
not to interact at all.
tidak berinteraksi sama sekali.
to talking to strangers,
untuk berbicara dengan orang asing,
miss their stop on the bus
terlewat halte busnya
that they need to get around.
orang yang menghalangi jalur mereka.
shuffling of bags
sedemikian rupa
that you need to get past,
mengkomunikasikan mereka ingin lewat,
culture of hospitality.
yang luar biasa.
for a sip of water.
untuk meminta seteguk air.
to invite you home for coffee.
minum kopi di rumahnya.
most clearly when they're broken,
ketika dilanggar,
what the right thing to do is.
tata karma di tempat tersebut.
is where the action is.
sedikit aturan itu perlu.
I really want you to do this. OK?
saya ingin Anda lakukan ini. OK?
di jalan atau di lorong, senyumlah.
or in the hallway here, smile.
that you both might see and comment on,
Anda berdua lihat dan komentari,
and see if starts a conversation.
dan lihat apabila ini memulai percakapan.
memperhatikan sepatu orang.
fabulous shoes right now,
sepatu yang biasa saja,
as far as giving compliments goes.
about their awesome shoes.
tentang sepatu keren mereka.
the dogs and babies principle.
prinsip anjing dan bayi.
to talk to someone on the street;
bicara pada orang di jalan;
bagaimana tanggapan mereka.
they're going to respond.
to their dog or their baby.
anjing atau bayi mereka.
cara mereka merespon
Anda merasa sangat rentan,
dengan orang asing
tentang diri Anda,
I talked about of feeling understood.
muncul dalam percakapan,
or, "Where does he live?"
atau, "Di mana dia tinggal?"
dengan sebenarnya,
saat saya masih kecil.
pengalaman mereka kehilangan seseorang.
disclosure with disclosure,
pengakuan dengan pengakuan lain,
you're making beautiful interruptions
Anda melakukan interupsi yang indah
of your daily life
you're missing out on all of that.
orang asing, Anda melewatkan semua itu.
tentang orang asing.
more time teaching ourselves?
waktu untuk mengajar diri sendiri?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
yang membuat kita saling curiga.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com