Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: 为什么我们需要与陌生人交流
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
在一定程度上来说就是这样的。
And, in some ways, they are.
天气状况并没有什么直接关系。
or what the day is like.
documenting my experiences
really beautiful was going on.
waiting for the light to change,
是站在马路边的雨篦子上,
in the street on the storm drain,
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
向后退了一步回到人行道上。
并且因为“挽救”了我而感觉那么开心。
so happy that he'd saved me.
my existence as a person
that strangers are dangerous by default,
陌生人都是危险的,
that they might hurt us.
因为他们可能会伤害到我们。
because we have no context.
是因为不了解他们的背景。
and making choices,
I say that to her,
我都会反复思量,
but as a woman, particularly,
然而作为一名女性,
on the street has the best intentions.
每一个陌生人都有好的企图。
而学习判断何时不该这样也是对的,
and it's good to learn when not to be,
we have to be afraid.
都不意味着我们要对他们心怀恐惧。
这样做能够使我们解放自我。
而不是已有的“陌生人”范畴,
是某种意义上的捷径。
for learning about them.
把人们看作单独的个体。
about people as individuals.
who travels frequently
as a real, individual person.
一个真实存在的独立个体。
other people see you that way, too.
其他人也就能够通过这种方式注意到你。
has to do with intimacy.
另外一个好处与亲密感有关。
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
"fleeting intimacy."
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
有情感共鸣和意义的短暂经历。
of the storm drain by the old man,
我得到的那种美妙的感觉;
on my train on the way to work.
that people often feel more comfortable
about their inner selves with strangers
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
with great lament.
“陌生人之间的交流要好过配偶之间!”
better than spouses!"
these interactions can be;
as much as we need our friends
so well with strangers?
陌生人能交流得如此顺畅呢?
it's a quick interaction.
you're never going to see again, right?
坦诚相见并没有特别难,对吧?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
that your friend or your spouse
that you want to leave early.
我们就需要从零开始。
to start from scratch.
how we feel about them;
以及我们对他们的看法;
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
we tend to follow.
depending on what country you're in,
between civility and privacy.
towards each other on the street.
from a distance.
they'll look away,
not to interact at all.
to talking to strangers,
miss their stop on the bus
好腾出地方让自己下车。
that they need to get around.
shuffling of bags
that you need to get past,
culture of hospitality.
for a sip of water.
to invite you home for coffee.
most clearly when they're broken,
what the right thing to do is.
就可以发现正确的举动。
is where the action is.
我很希望你们能这样做。
I really want you to do this. OK?
微笑一下,
or in the hallway here, smile.
that you both might see and comment on,
看能不能开始一段对话。
and see if starts a conversation.
fabulous shoes right now,
都是比较中立的着眼点。
as far as giving compliments goes.
about their awesome shoes.
the dogs and babies principle.
爱犬原则或者是婴儿原则。
to talk to someone on the street;
they're going to respond.
对他们的宠物狗或者是小孩讲话。
to their dog or their baby.
我提到的那种被理解的感觉。
I talked about of feeling understood.
or, "Where does he live?"
或者“他住在哪里?”
他们过世的亲人的故事。
disclosure with disclosure,
you're making beautiful interruptions
你通过介绍自己的经历,
of your daily life
you're missing out on all of that.
你就错过了所有那些美好的经历。
more time teaching ourselves?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com