Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: Porque devemos falar com estranhos?
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
com o olhar de um estranho
And, in some ways, they are.
E, algumas vezes, é.
or what the day is like.
ou como está o dia.
documenting my experiences
documentar minhas experiências
really beautiful was going on.
realmente belo acontecia.
waiting for the light to change,
à espera do sinal de peões.
in the street on the storm drain,
na rua, em cima de uma sarjeta,
mais depressa.
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
e um chapéu de velho.
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
Voltei para o passeio.
so happy that he'd saved me.
muito feliz por me ter salvado.
my existence as a person
a minha existência enquanto pessoa
that strangers are dangerous by default,
que todos os estranhos são perigosos,
that they might hurt us.
que eles podem nos fazer mal.
não são perigosos.
because we have no context.
deles porque estamos deslocados.
and making choices,
perceção e fazer escolhas,
do "estranho".
I say that to her,
quando lhe digo isso
but as a woman, particularly,
mas, enquanto mulher, particularmente,
on the street has the best intentions.
na rua têm boas intenções.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
e é bom saber quando não o ser.
we have to be afraid.
que devemos ter medo.
em vez dos nossos medos.
for learning about them.
para aprender sobre elas.
jovens, idosos,
estranhos, amigos,
about people as individuals.
nas pessoas como indivíduos.
who travels frequently
que viaja frequentemente
as a real, individual person.
como uma pessoa, um indivíduo.
other people see you that way, too.
os outros a verem-nos assim também.
has to do with intimacy.
de usar os nossos sentidos
a little counterintuitive,
um pouco contraditório,
can lead to a feeling
podem levar à sensação
"fleeting intimacy."
"intimidade fugaz".
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
ressonância e significado emocional.
of the storm drain by the old man,
pelo velhote
de uma comunidade
on my train on the way to work.
no metro ou a caminho do trabalho.
that people often feel more comfortable
que as pessoas ficam mais confortáveis
about their inner selves with strangers
sobre si mesmas com estranhos
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
mais bem compreendidas por estranhos.
with great lament.
como uma coisa lamentável:
better than spouses!"
melhor que os casais!"
these interactions can be;
podem ser essas interações;
as much as we need our friends
como os nossos amigos ou a nossa família.
so well with strangers?
comunicarmos tão bem com estranhos?
it's a quick interaction.
de uma interação rápida.
you're never going to see again, right?
que não voltaremos a ver, certo?
it gets more interesting.
é mais interessante.
to people we're close to.
as pessoas que são próximas de nós.
os nossos pensamentos.
that your friend or your spouse
o vosso amigo ou o vosso cônjuge
a querer ir-se embora.
that you want to leave early.
to start from scratch.
que começar do zero.
how we feel about them;
como nos sentimos sobre elas;
understand us a little better.
entendem-nos um pouco melhor.
that talking to strangers matters,
que falar com estranhos é importante,
we tend to follow.
que temos que seguir
depending on what country you're in,
consoante o país em que estamos,
between civility and privacy.
entre civilidade e privacidade.
towards each other on the street.
uma em direção à outra, na rua.
from a distance.
à distância.
they'll look away,
olham para outro lado
not to interact at all.
para não interagirem.
to talking to strangers,
a falar com estranhos
o autocarro
miss their stop on the bus
that they need to get around.
a alguém que esteja no caminho.
shuffling of bags
balançam as sacolas
that you need to get past,
que precisam passar,
culture of hospitality.
incrível de hospitalidade.
for a sip of water.
um pouco de água
to invite you home for coffee.
serão convidados para um café.
most clearly when they're broken,
não escritas quando são quebradas
what the right thing to do is.
qual a coisa certa a fazer.
is where the action is.
quando quebramos essas regras.
I really want you to do this. OK?
é isso que eu quero que vocês façam, ok?
que estabeleça contacto visual.
or in the hallway here, smile.
ou aqui nos corredores, sorriam.
that you both might see and comment on,
e podem comentar,
and see if starts a conversation.
e vejam se inicia-se uma conversa.
fabulous shoes right now,
sapatos fabulosos agora,
de modo geral.
as far as giving compliments goes.
para se fazer elogios.
contar qualquer coisa
about their awesome shoes.
the dogs and babies principle.
uma situação com cachorros e bebés.
to talk to someone on the street;
falar com alguém na rua
they're going to respond.
como vai responder.
to their dog or their baby.
com os cachorros ou com os bebés.
é um canal social para a pessoa.
sobre vocês mesmos,
I talked about of feeling understood.
que comentei sobre sentir-se compreendido.
or, "Where does he live?"
ou "Onde é que ele mora?"
as suas experiências de perda.
disclosure with disclosure,
uma abertura, se nos abrirmos também,
you're making beautiful interruptions
estamos a fazer belas interrupções
do nosso quotidiano
of your daily life
you're missing out on all of that.
estamos a perder tudo isso.
sobre os estranhos.
more time teaching ourselves?
mais tempo instruindo-nos a nós mesmos?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
que nos fazem suspeitar uns dos outros.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com