Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: Por qué hablar con extraños
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
And, in some ways, they are.
Y en cierta manera lo son.
or what the day is like.
documenting my experiences
a documentar mis experiencias
really beautiful was going on.
algo realmente bello.
waiting for the light to change,
a que la señal cambiara,
in the street on the storm drain,
en la rejilla de drenaje,
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
y un sombrero de viejo,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
Me paré en el andén.
so happy that he'd saved me.
de haberme salvado.
my existence as a person
mi existencia como persona
that strangers are dangerous by default,
son peligrosos por defecto,
that they might hurt us.
que nos pueden herir.
no son peligrosos.
because we have no context.
porque no tenemos contexto.
and making choices,
para tomar decisiones,
I say that to her,
but as a woman, particularly,
como mujer, particularmente,
on the street has the best intentions.
tiene buenas intenciones.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
y bueno aprender cuándo no serlo,
we have to be afraid.
que debamos tener miedo.
en vez del miedo.
en vez de las categorías
for learning about them.
about people as individuals.
en las personas como individuos.
who travels frequently
que viaja frecuentemente sola
as a real, individual person.
como una persona real.
other people see you that way, too.
otras personas a verte igual también.
has to do with intimacy.
sentidos tiene que ver con la intimidad.
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
pueden llevar a sentir
"fleeting intimacy."
la "intimidad fugaz".
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
significado y resonancia emocional.
of the storm drain by the old man,
del drenaje por un hombre viejo,
on my train on the way to work.
en el tren camino al trabajo.
that people often feel more comfortable
que las personas se sienten más cómodas
about their inner selves with strangers
sobre sí mismas con extraños
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
mejor comprendidos por extraños.
with great lament.
con gran pesar.
better than spouses!"
que los esposos!"
these interactions can be;
estas interacciones;
as much as we need our friends
tanto como necesitamos amigos
so well with strangers?
tan bien con extraños?
it's a quick interaction.
una interacción rápida.
you're never going to see again, right?
que no vamos a volver a ver, ¿no?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
tratamos con personas cercanas.
that your friend or your spouse
that you want to leave early.
to start from scratch.
que empezar de cero.
how we feel about them;
cómo nos hacen sentir;
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
con extraños importa.
we tend to follow.
depending on what country you're in,
del país en que uno esté,
between civility and privacy.
entre urbanidad y privacidad.
towards each other on the street.
caminando enfrentados en la calle.
from a distance.
they'll look away,
mirarán a otro lado,
not to interact at all.
extremos para no interactuar.
to talking to strangers,
a hablar con extraños,
miss their stop on the bus
la parada del bus
that they need to get around.
que quieren esquivar.
shuffling of bags
movimiento de bolsos
that you need to get past,
que uno necesita pasar,
culture of hospitality.
de hospitalidad.
for a sip of water.
un trago de agua.
to invite you home for coffee.
a casa a tomar un café.
most clearly when they're broken,
más claramente cuando se violan,
what the right thing to do is.
de manera correcta.
is where the action is.
trae un poco de acción.
I really want you to do this. OK?
quiero que hagan esto.
que los mire a los ojos.
or in the hallway here, smile.
la calle o en un pasillo, sonrían.
that you both might see and comment on,
ambos pueden ver y comentar,
and see if starts a conversation.
y vean si comienza una conversación.
fabulous shoes right now,
zapatos fabulosos ahora,
en general.
as far as giving compliments goes.
en cuanto a elogios se refiere.
about their awesome shoes.
de sus geniales zapatos.
the dogs and babies principle.
el principio de los perros y bebés.
to talk to someone on the street;
a alguien en la calle,
they're going to respond.
to their dog or their baby.
a su perro o bebé.
I talked about of feeling understood.
de sentirse comprendidos.
or, "Where does he live?"
o "¿Dónde vive?"
disclosure with disclosure,
a la revelación,
you're making beautiful interruptions
hacen bellas interrupciones
of your daily life
de su vida diaria
you're missing out on all of that.
se están perdiendo de esto.
sobre los extraños.
more time teaching ourselves?
aprendiendo nosotros?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
que nos hacen sospechosos.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com