Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Кио Старк (Kio Stark): Зашто треба да причате са странцима
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
На неки начин и јесу.
And, in some ways, they are.
or what the day is like.
да бележим своје доживљаје
documenting my experiences
really beautiful was going on.
заиста дивно дешава.
waiting for the light to change,
чекајући да се светло на семафору промени,
in the street on the storm drain,
на улици, на одводу,
који је стајао поред мене.
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
и старачки шешир,
Вратила сам се на тротоар.
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
so happy that he'd saved me.
и толико срећан што би ме спасио.
да је моје постојање као особе
my existence as a person
that strangers are dangerous by default,
да се подразумева су странци опасни,
that they might hurt us.
да нам могу наудити.
because we have no context.
јер немамо контекст.
and making choices,
своја опажања и да бирамо,
пријатељски расположен.“
I say that to her,
када јој јој то кажем,
but as a woman, particularly,
on the street has the best intentions.
имати добре намере.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
и добро је научити када да то не будете,
we have to be afraid.
да се треба плашити.
for learning about them.
about people as individuals.
о људима као појединцима.
who travels frequently
која често путује
as a real, individual person.
као стварну, појединачну особу.
other people see you that way, too.
и други људи ће те видети такву.
has to do with intimacy.
има везе са интимношћу.
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
могу водити до осећаја
"fleeting intimacy."
„пролазна интимност“.
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
који има емоционални одзив и смисао.
of the storm drain by the old man,
од смртоносне замке на одводу
on my train on the way to work.
у возу на путу до посла.
that people often feel more comfortable
да се људи често осећају опуштеније
about their inner selves with strangers
о свом унутрашњем „ја“ сам странцима
and their families --
са својим пријатељима и породицом -
more understood by strangers.
да их странци боље разумеју.
with great lament.
уз велико жаљење.
better than spouses!"
ове интеракције могу бити;
these interactions can be;
као што нам требају пријатељи
as much as we need our friends
so well with strangers?
комуникацију са странцима?
it's a quick interaction.
you're never going to see again, right?
кога никада више нећете видети, зар не?
it gets more interesting.
постају интересантније.
to people we're close to.
са којима смо блиски.
that your friend or your spouse
да ваш пријатељ или супружник
that you want to leave early.
to start from scratch.
how we feel about them;
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
да је разговор са странцима битан,
we tend to follow.
која обично пратимо.
depending on what country you're in,
у зависности од земље у којој сте,
between civility and privacy.
између цивилизованог и приватности.
towards each other on the street.
који иду у сусрет једно другом.
from a distance.
крајичком ока из далека.
they'll look away,
not to interact at all.
да уопште немају интеракцију.
to talking to strangers,
према разговору са странцима
miss their stop on the bus
that they need to get around.
кога треба да заобиђу.
shuffling of bags
комешање торби
да треба да прођете,
that you need to get past,
culture of hospitality.
изузетна култура гостопримства.
for a sip of water.
гутљај воде једни од других.
to invite you home for coffee.
да ће вас позвати кући да попијете кафу.
most clearly when they're broken,
најјасније видимо када се прекрше
what the right thing to do is.
шта је права ствар коју треба урадити.
is where the action is.
место где се дешава нешто.
I really want you to do this. OK?
стварно желим да урадите ово, у реду?
or in the hallway here, smile.
или у ходнику, насмејте се.
that you both might see and comment on,
и коју можете искоментарисати,
и видите да ли ће покренути разговор.
and see if starts a conversation.
што називам примећивањем.
fabulous shoes right now,
as far as giving compliments goes.
када се ради о давању комплимената.
about their awesome shoes.
о својим сјајним ципелама.
the dogs and babies principle.
принцип паса и беба.
to talk to someone on the street;
да разговарате са неким на улици;
they're going to respond.
њиховом псу или беби.
to their dog or their baby.
учинити рањивима,
I talked about of feeling understood.
о ком сам причала, да вас разумеју.
да ме људи питају:
or, "Where does he live?"
disclosure with disclosure,
на разоткривање разоткривањем,
you're making beautiful interruptions
на прелеп начин прекидате
of your daily life
вашег свакодневног живота,
you're missing out on all of that.
пропуштате све то.
more time teaching ourselves?
више времена подучавајући себе?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
које нас чине сумњичавима према другима.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com