Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
琪歐.史塔克: 你為什麼應該和陌生人交流
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
And, in some ways, they are.
從某種角度來說,是的。
or what the day is like.
天氣狀況並沒有什麽直接關係。
真正要傳遞的意思是:
documenting my experiences
really beautiful was going on.
waiting for the light to change,
in the street on the storm drain,
是站在路邊的暴雨排水孔上,
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
我向後退了一步回到人行道上。
so happy that he'd saved me.
my existence as a person
that strangers are dangerous by default,
that they might hurt us.
他們可能會傷害我們。
because we have no context.
我們不瞭解他們的背景。
and making choices,
來與陌生人接觸。
I say that to her,
我都會反覆思考,
but as a woman, particularly,
但特別是身爲女性的我,
on the street has the best intentions.
的陌生人都心存善意。
and it's good to learn when not to be,
但也要知道什麽時候不適合,
we have to be afraid.
for learning about them.
about people as individuals.
把對方看作是單獨的個體。
who travels frequently
as a real, individual person.
一個實質存在的獨立個體。
other people see you that way, too.
其他人也會用同樣的方式看你。
has to do with intimacy.
與親密感有關。
a little counterintuitive,
can lead to a feeling
"fleeting intimacy."
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
有情感共鳴和意義的短暫經歷。
排水道的「死亡陷阱」中拯救出來之後,
of the storm drain by the old man,
on my train on the way to work.
that people often feel more comfortable
about their inner selves with strangers
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
比家人朋友更懂自己。
with great lament.
better than spouses!"
比你與另一半交流舒服!」
these interactions can be;
as much as we need our friends
so well with strangers?
陌生人能交流得如此順暢呢?
it's a quick interaction.
you're never going to see again, right?
坦誠相見並不會特別難,對吧?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
that your friend or your spouse
that you want to leave early.
to start from scratch.
how we feel about them;
我們對那些人有什麽想法;
understand us a little better.
that talking to strangers matters,
we tend to follow.
depending on what country you're in,
between civility and privacy.
towards each other on the street.
from a distance.
they'll look away,
not to interact at all.
to talking to strangers,
miss their stop on the bus
that they need to get around.
shuffling of bags
that you need to get past,
culture of hospitality.
for a sip of water.
to invite you home for coffee.
most clearly when they're broken,
what the right thing to do is.
這些規矩才會被注意到。
is where the action is.
就知道眉角在哪裡了。
I really want you to do this. OK?
我很希望各位可以這樣做,好嗎?
or in the hallway here, smile.
路過一個人,微笑一下,
that you both might see and comment on,
你們可以聊一聊對它的見解,
and see if starts a conversation.
看看能不能和陌生人展開對話。
我把它稱為「關注」。
fabulous shoes right now,
as far as giving compliments goes.
都不會顯得很奇怪。
about their awesome shoes.
the dogs and babies principle.
狗狗原則或者是嬰兒原則。
to talk to someone on the street;
可能會陷入尷尬;
they're going to respond.
to their dog or their baby.
對他們的狗狗或者是小孩講話。
I talked about of feeling understood.
那種被人理解的感覺。
or, "Where does he live?"
或者,「他住在哪裡?」
他們失去親友的故事。
disclosure with disclosure,
互相敞開心扉聊天,
you're making beautiful interruptions
你是在為你和陌生人
of your daily life
you're missing out on all of that.
你就錯過那些美好的經歷。
more time teaching ourselves?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com