Kio Stark: Why you should talk to strangers
Kio Stark: Därför skall du prata med främlingar
Kio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
And, in some ways, they are.
Och på vissa sätt är de ju det.
or what the day is like.
eller hur dagen är.
documenting my experiences
jag dokumentera mina erfarenheter
really beautiful was going on.
riktigt vackert hände.
waiting for the light to change,
och väntade på grönt ljus,
utanför trottoarkanten,
in the street on the storm drain,
standing next to me.
and sort of an old-man hat,
och någon form av gubbhatt,
I stepped back onto the sidewalk.
Steg tillbaka på trottoaren.
so happy that he'd saved me.
att han hade räddat mig.
my existence as a person
att min existens som person
that strangers are dangerous by default,
att främlingar alltid är farliga,
that they might hurt us.
att de kan skada oss.
because we have no context.
eftersom vi saknar sammanhang.
and making choices,
när vi gör våra val,
I say that to her,
gång jag säger det till henne,
but as a woman, particularly,
men speciellt som kvinna,
on the street has the best intentions.
på gatan har de bästa avsikter.
and it's good to learn when not to be,
att veta när man inte ska vara det,
we have to be afraid.
att vi måste vara rädda.
istället för våra farhågor.
istället för kategoriseringar
hjärnor använder.
for learning about them.
för att lära sig mer om dom.
about people as individuals.
på människor som individer.
who travels frequently
som reser mycket
as a real, individual person.
som en verklig, enskild individ.
other people see you that way, too.
att också se dig på det sättet.
has to do with intimacy.
lita till sinnet har att göra med närhet.
a little counterintuitive,
motsägelsefullt,
can lead to a feeling
kan leda till en känsla
"fleeting intimacy."
that has emotional resonance and meaning.
känslomässig resonans och mening.
of the storm drain by the old man,
vid trottoarkanten av den gamle mannen,
som en del av en gemenskap
on my train on the way to work.
på mitt tåg på väg till jobbet.
that people often feel more comfortable
ofta känner sig mer bekväma
about their inner selves with strangers
om sitt inre jag med främlingar
and their families --
more understood by strangers.
mer förstådda av främlingar.
with great lament.
better than spouses!"
bättre än makar! "
these interactions can be;
dessa interaktioner kan vara;
as much as we need our friends
som vi behöver vänner och familj.
so well with strangers?
så bra med främlingar?
it's a quick interaction.
det är en snabb interaktion.
you're never going to see again, right?
du aldrig kommer att se igen, visst?
it gets more interesting.
to people we're close to.
människor som vi är nära.
that your friend or your spouse
din vän eller make
that you want to leave early.
to start from scratch.
börja om från början.
how we feel about them;
vad vi känner för dem;
understand us a little better.
faktiskt oss lite bättre
that talking to strangers matters,
med främlingar är betydelsefullt,
we tend to follow.
som vi tenderar att följa.
depending on what country you're in,
beroende på vilket land du är i,
between civility and privacy.
mellan hövlighet och privatliv.
towards each other on the street.
mot varandra på gatan.
from a distance.
they'll look away,
kommer de att titta bort,
not to interact at all.
to talking to strangers,
för att prata med främlingar,
miss their stop on the bus
hellre sin hållplats
that they need to get around.
för att komma förbi.
shuffling of bags
viftande med påsar
that you need to get past,
säger att man vill förbi,
ignorera en främling
culture of hospitality.
kultur av gästfrihet.
for a sip of water.
en klunk vatten.
to invite you home for coffee.
bjuder hem dig på kaffe.
most clearly when they're broken,
tydligast när de bryts,
what the right thing to do is.
is where the action is.
och det är då det händer.
I really want you to do this. OK?
vill jag verkligen att ni testar. OK?
or in the hallway here, smile.
eller i korridoren här utanför, le.
that you both might see and comment on,
som ni båda kan se och kommentera,
och se om en konversation startar.
and see if starts a conversation.
fabulous shoes right now,
as far as giving compliments goes.
att ge komplimanger på.
about their awesome shoes.
om sina fantastiska skor.
the dogs and babies principle.
hund- och spädbarnsmetoden.
att prata med någon på gatan;
to talk to someone on the street;
they're going to respond.
deras hund eller deras barn.
to their dog or their baby.
I talked about of feeling understood.
det jag talade om, att vara förstådd.
or, "Where does he live?"
eller "Var bor han?"
erfarenheter av förlust.
disclosure with disclosure,
avslöjande med avslöjande,
you're making beautiful interruptions
gör du spännande inhopp
of your daily life
om ditt dagliga liv
you're missing out on all of that.
går du miste om allt detta.
more time teaching ourselves?
mer tid åt att lära oss själva?
that make us so suspicious of each other.
som gör oss så misstänksamma mot varandra.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kio Stark - Stranger enthusiastKio Stark explores the myriad ways encounters with strangers impact our lives.
Why you should listen
Kio Stark has always talked to strangers. She started documenting her experiences when she realized that not everyone shares this predilection. She's done extensive research into the emotional and political dimensions of stranger interactions and the complex dynamics how people relate to each other in public places.
Her novel Follow Me Down began as a series of true vignettes about strangers placed in the fictional context of a woman unraveling the eerie history of a lost letter misdelivered to her door.
Stark did doctoral work at Yale University’s American Studies program, where she thought a lot about the history of science and medicine, urban studies, art, and race -- and then dropped out. Because she also taught graduate courses at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program, numberless people consulted her about whether or not to go back to school. Those conversations inspired Don't Go Back to School, a handbook for independent learners.
Stark is the author of the TED Book When Strangers Meet, in which she argues for the pleasures and transformative possibilities of talking to people you don’t know.
Beyond strangers, Stark's abiding fixations include the invisibility of technology; how people learn; practices of generosity and mutual aid; the culture, infrastructure and ephemera of cities; mythology and fairy tales; and advocating for independent learning, data literacy, social justice and feminism. Fiction writers get to dive down wonderful rabbit holes, and some of her favorites have been the forging and stealing of art, secret societies, the daily lives of medical examiners, the physics of elementary particles, bridge design, the history of maps, the mechanisms of wrongful conviction and psychoanalysis.
When not writing books, Stark has worked in journalism, interactive advertising, community research and game design. She writes, teaches and speaks around the world about stranger interactions, independent learning and how people relate to technology. She also consults for startups and large companies helping them think about stranger interactions among their users and audiences.
Kio Stark | Speaker | TED.com