James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
James Veitch - Comedian and writer
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
to get through my spam filter.
but it turned up in my inbox,
called Solomon Odonkoh.
I want to share with you, Solomon."
on the delete button, right?
I thought, I could just delete this.
we've all always wanted to do.
Your email intrigues me."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
of any gold you distributes."
with a professional.
with smaller quantity," --
going to do it, let's go big.
How much gold do you have?"
of how much gold I have,
your capability of handling.
as trial shipment."
at least a metric ton."
executive bank manager."
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
via the postal service,
to convince my company
with you on this one.
to take into the board meeting.
any statisticians in the house,
you'll find a helpful chart.
run the numbers.
as much gold as possible."
to tug your heartstrings,
if the deal goes well,
a very good commission as well."
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
what about you?"
30 different varieties.
and you can dip them.
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
this had been going for, like, weeks,
weeks of my life,
do you want to come for a drink?"
an email about some gold."
to knock it on the head.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
I'm concerned about security.
coming up with this code
in all further correspondence:
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
they use, right?
in all further correspondence."
I thought, I've gone too far.
So I had to backpedal a little.
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
I've ever received.
turned up in my inbox.
for the Gummy Bear --
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
as much time as could
scam emails as I could?
replying to scam emails.
who do mean things to scammers.
they're spending with me
scamming vulnerable adults
and I highly recommend you do --
and it was a nightmare.
and have a thousand emails
was a legitimate response --
any day is a good day
that begins like this:
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
this is a letter of authorization.
written on it, it's just a shape!
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
as fairly serious."
you can have, not being alive.
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
About the speaker:James Veitch - Comedian and writer
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com