James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
Џејмс Вич: Еве што се случува кога ќе одговорите на спамиран мејл
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
to get through my spam filter.
филтерот за спамови.
but it turned up in my inbox,
called Solomon Odonkoh.
се вика Соломон Одонка
I want to share with you, Solomon."
понуда за тебе, Соломон."
on the delete button, right?
да го бришам, логично нели?
I thought, I could just delete this.
дај да го избришам.
we've all always wanted to do.
што сите сме сакале да го направиме.
ме интересира твојот мејл."
Your email intrigues me."
ќе ти испратиме Злато."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
of any gold you distributes."
with a professional.
работа со професионалец.
with smaller quantity," --
2.5 милиони долари.
работиме, да работиме на големо.
going to do it, let's go big.
How much gold do you have?"
of how much gold I have,
your capability of handling.
as trial shipment."
at least a metric ton."
executive bank manager."
сум пријателе."
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
via the postal service,
to convince my company
мојата компанија
with you on this one.
to take into the board meeting.
однесеш на управен одбор.
any statisticians in the house,
you'll find a helpful chart.
кој ќе ти биде од помош.
run the numbers.
as much gold as possible."
to tug your heartstrings,
играат на картата чувства,
if the deal goes well,
ако зделкава помине добро,
a very good commission as well."
добра провизија."
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
потрошиш парите?"
what about you?"
30 different varieties.
and you can dip them.
и да си топиш со нив.
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
добра ноќ."
траеше со недели,
this had been going for, like, weeks,
weeks of my life,
do you want to come for a drink?"
дојдеш на пијачка?"
an email about some gold."
мејл за злато."
to knock it on the head.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
I'm concerned about security.
за безбедноста.
coming up with this code
смислував шифрава.
in all further correspondence:
ќе се допишуваме.
Подигнува: Печени Кикирики
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
they use, right?
in all further correspondence."
те молам викај ме КитКет."
Помислив дека сум претерал.
I thought, I've gone too far.
So I had to backpedal a little.
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
се обидувам бла бла бла ..."
ја користиш шифрата!"
мејл што некогаш сум го добил.
I've ever received.
turned up in my inbox.
ми стигна во инбокс.
for the Gummy Bear --
потребни Газирани и Желе Бонбони
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
as much time as could
scam emails as I could?
да одговараш на спамови.
replying to scam emails.
who do mean things to scammers.
работи на преварантиве.
they're spending with me
scamming vulnerable adults
and I highly recommend you do --
препорачувам да го правите,
and it was a nightmare.
и беше ужас.
and have a thousand emails
илјадници мејлови
was a legitimate response --
any day is a good day
било кој ден е добар ден
that begins like this:
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
БИВШИОТ ЈУЖНО АФРИЧКИ ПРЕТСЕДАТЕЛ."
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
ДОЛАРИ НАДВОР ОД ЗЕМЈАТА
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
НА МОЈОТ СОПРУГ НЕЛСОН МЕНДЕЛА."
this is a letter of authorization.
писмо за овластување.
written on it, it's just a shape!
само фигура!
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
умре пред три месеци,
as fairly serious."
здравствена состојба."
you can have, not being alive.
која може да те задеси, да не бидеш жив.
БАНКАРСКИТЕ ИНСТРУКЦИИ.
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
NO WOMEN, NO CRY (Не плачи жено)."
СЕ ПРЕФРЛАТ 3000 ДОЛАРИ.
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
(но не и неговиот заменик)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com