James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
Džeimss Vīčs: Lūk, kas notiek, ja atbildat uz e-pasta mēstuli
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
to get through my spam filter.
izkļūt cauri mēstuļu filtram.
but it turned up in my inbox,
bet tā parādījās manā iesūtnē,
called Solomon Odonkoh.
I want to share with you, Solomon."
ko vēlos Jums izteikt, Solomons.”
on the delete button, right?
virs izdzēšanas pogas, ja?
I thought, I could just delete this.
Varēju to vienkārši izdzēst.
we've all always wanted to do.
visi vienmēr esam gribējuši izdarīt,
Jūsu vēstule mani ieinteresēja,”
Your email intrigues me."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
Mēs Jums sūtīsim zeltu.”
of any gold you distributes."
no visa zelta, ko Jūs izplatīt,”
ir darīšana ar profesionāli.
with a professional.
with smaller quantity," --
„Sāksim ar nelielu daudzumu,”
ASV dolāru vērtībā.”
going to do it, let's go big.
darām uz pilnu banku.
How much gold do you have?"
of how much gold I have,
cik daudz zelta man ir,
daudzumu tiksiet galā.
your capability of handling.
as trial shipment."
izmēģinājuma sūtījumu.”
at least a metric ton."
bankas izpilddirektors.”
executive bank manager."
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
zelta stieņus, draugs,
via the postal service,
pārliecinātu manu uzņēmumu
to convince my company
with you on this one.
es Tevi pilnībā saprotu.
to take into the board meeting.
ko Tev paņemt uz valdes sēdi.
any statisticians in the house,
atradīsi noderīgu diagrammu.
you'll find a helpful chart.
run the numbers.
pārbaudīt skaitļus.
as much gold as possible."
cik vien daudz zelta iespējams.”
to tug your heartstrings,
kad viņi mēģina spēlēt uz jūtām,
ja darījums izdosies,
if the deal goes well,
ļoti labu komisijas naudu.”
a very good commission as well."
kam Tu tērēsi savu daļu?”
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
„Nekustamajos īpašumos, un Jūs?”
what about you?"
30 different varieties.
and you can dip them.
manu zelta gabaliņ, ar labvakaru.”
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
this had been going for, like, weeks,
tas vilkās nedēļām ilgi,
lieliskākajām nedēļām manā mūžā,
weeks of my life,
„Džeims, ejam iedzert?”
do you want to come for a drink?"
„Nevaru, es gaidu vēstuli par zeltu.”
an email about some gold."
to knock it on the head.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
es uztraucos par drošību.
I'm concerned about security.
coming up with this code
visu nakti domāju šo šifru,
in all further correspondence:
visā turpmākajā sarakstē.
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
they use, right?
in all further correspondence."
turpmākajā sarakstē sauc mani par KitKat.”
Es sapratu, ka esmu pārcenties.
I thought, I've gone too far.
Tāpēc man bija drusku jāpanāk pretī.
So I had to backpedal a little.
vai darījums joprojām ir spēkā?
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
Es cenšos bla bla bla...”
I've ever received.
kādu esmu saņēmis.
turned up in my inbox.
kas parādījās manā iesūtnē.
for the Gummy Bear --
želejas lācītim,
kolas pudelītes želejas pupiņas
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
zemesriekstu „M&M” procedūru.”
as much time as could
pēc iespējas vairāk laika
scam emails as I could?
krāpnieku vēstulēm?
replying to scam emails.
notiek trakas lietas.
who do mean things to scammers.
kas krāpniekiem dara ļaunu.
they're spending with me
scamming vulnerable adults
neizkrāpj iekrājumus
and I highly recommend you do --
– un es ļoti iesaku tā darīt –
and it was a nightmare.
and have a thousand emails
un man bija kādi tūkstoš e-pasti
was a legitimate response --
bija pamatota atbilde
any day is a good day
that begins like this:
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
NELSONA MANDELAS OTRĀ SIEVĀ.”
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
JĀIZSŪTA 45 MILJONI DOLĀRU
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
VESELĪBAS STĀVOKĻA DĒĻ.”
kas ir ārkārtīgi smieklīgi.
this is a letter of authorization.
tā ir pilnvarojuma vēstule.
written on it, it's just a shape!
tā ir tikai figūra!
„Vinnij, ļoti žēl to dzirdēt.
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
nomira pirms trim mēnešiem,
sauktu par gana nopietnu.”
as fairly serious."
you can have, not being alive.
kāds var būt – nebūt dzīvs.
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
MANA BAŅĶIERA NORĀDES
3000 DOLĀRU PĀRSKAITĪJUMU. ONE LOVE.”
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com