James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
James Veitch: Štai kas nutinka, kai atsakai į brukalą
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
to get through my spam filter.
brukalo filtrą.
but it turned up in my inbox,
mano el. pašto dėžutėje,
called Solomon Odonkoh.
Solomon Odonkoh.
I want to share with you, Solomon."
kurį noriu pateikti jums, Solomon.“
on the delete button, right?
ištrynimo mygtuko, taip?
I thought, I could just delete this.
Pamaniau, galiu tai tiesiog ištrinti.
we've all always wanted to do.
mes visi norėdavome padaryti.
Tavo laiškas mane sudomino“.
Your email intrigues me."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
mes siųsime jums auksą“.
of any gold you distributes."
nuo bet kurio parduoto aukso“.
with a professional.
with smaller quantity," --
kiekio“, –
going to do it, let's go big.
pradėkime nuo daugiau.
How much gold do you have?"
Kiek aukso jūs turite?“
of how much gold I have,
aš turiu,
your capability of handling.
tai suvaldyti.
as trial shipment."
siuntos“.
at least a metric ton."
vykdantysis banko direktorius“.
executive bank manager."
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
lydinius, drauguži,
via the postal service,
to convince my company
įtikinti mano įmonę,
with you on this one.
visiškai palaikau tave.
to take into the board meeting.
panaudotum valdybos posėdyje.
any statisticians in the house,
statistikų,
you'll find a helpful chart.
prisegiau naudingą diagramą.
run the numbers.
as much gold as possible."
įmanoma daugiau aukso“.
to tug your heartstrings,
tave sujaudinti,
if the deal goes well,
jei sandoris pavyks,
a very good commission as well."
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
what about you?"
30 different varieties.
and you can dip them.
ir merkti į juos.
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
mano aukso grynuoli, labos.“
this had been going for, like, weeks,
savaitėmis,
mano gyvenimo savaitės,
weeks of my life,
gal einame išgerti?“
do you want to come for a drink?"
el. laiško dėl aukso“.
an email about some gold."
to knock it on the head.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
dėl saugumo.
I'm concerned about security.
coming up with this code
kol sugalvojau šį kodą,
in all further correspondence:
susirašinėjime:
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
driežas.“
they use, right?
in all further correspondence."
mane vadinti „Kitkat“.
I thought, I've gone too far.
Pamaniau, kad nuėjau per toli.
So I had to backpedal a little.
Taigi truputį pristabdžiau.
galioja?
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
bla bla bla…“
I've ever received.
turned up in my inbox.
mano el. pašto dėžutėje.
for the Gummy Bear --
balansą, –
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
„Cola“ butelio želė pupeles
as much time as could
skirčiau laiko
scam emails as I could?
el.laiškų?
replying to scam emails.
į sukčių laiškus.
who do mean things to scammers.
dalykus sukčiams.
they're spending with me
scamming vulnerable adults
and I highly recommend you do --
ką aš jums patariu daryti –
adreso.
and it was a nightmare.
ir tai buvo košmaras.
and have a thousand emails
tūkstančius el. laiškų
was a legitimate response --
buvo legalus atsakymas –
any day is a good day
bet kuri diena yra gera diena,
that begins like this:
šitaip:
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
BUVUSIO PIETŲ AFRIKOS PREZIDENTO.“
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
IŠ ŠALIES
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
SVEIKATOS BŪKLĖS.“
nepaprastai juokinga.
this is a letter of authorization.
čia yra įgaliojimo laiškas.
written on it, it's just a shape!
ant jos užrašyta, tai tik figūra!
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
man labai gaila tai girdėti.
prieš 3 mėnesius,
as fairly serious."
kaip gana rimtą.“
you can have, not being alive.
gali turėti – būti negyvu.
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
MANO BANKININKŲ NURODYMŲ.
NEVERK.“
PERVESTI 3 000 DOLERIŲ. VIENA MEILĖ.“
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com