TED2008
Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight
Jill Bolte Taylor: El poderós vessament d'entendiment de la Jill Bolte Taylor
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La Jill Bolte Taylor va tenir l'oportunitat de fer una investigació que pocs investigadors del cervell desitjarien: va patir un vessament cerebral i va observar com les seves funcions cerebrals (el moviment, la parla, la consciència sobre ella mateixa) s'apagaven d'una en una. Una història extraordinària.
Jill Bolte Taylor - Neuroanatomist
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Full bio
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
I grew up to study the brain
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Vaig créixer per estudiar el cervell
00:21
because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder:
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perquè tinc un germà a qui van diagnosticar un transtorn cerebral:
00:25
schizophrenia. And as a sister
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esquizofrènia. Tant per ser la seva germana,
00:27
and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand, why
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com per ser, més endavant, científica, volia entendre com
00:31
is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect
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és que puc agafar els meus somnis, els puc connectar
00:34
them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true?
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a la realitat i puc fer que esdevinguin reals.
00:37
What is it about my brother's brain and
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Què passa en el cervell del meu germà i
00:41
his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his
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amb l'esquizofrènia que no pot connectar
00:44
dreams to a common and shared reality, so they
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els seus somnis a una realitat comuna i compartida,
00:48
instead become delusion?
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de forma que esdevenen una falsa il·lusió?
00:51
So I dedicated my career to research into the
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He dedicat la meva vida professional a investigar
00:53
severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state
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greus enfermetats mentals. Em vaig traslladar des del meu estat natal,
00:56
of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in
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Indiana, a Boston, on vaig treballar
00:59
the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard
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al laboratori de la Dra. Francine Bones, al Departament
01:02
Department of Psychiatry. And in the lab, we were asking the question,
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de Psiquiatria de Harvard. I al laboratori, ens preguntàvem:
01:08
"What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals
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"Quines són les diferències biològiques entre el cervell d'individus
01:13
who would be diagnosed as normal control,
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diagnosticats com normal
01:15
as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with
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i el cervell d'individus diagnosticats amb
01:18
schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"
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esquizofrènia, amb trastorn esquizoafectiu o amb transtorn bipolar?"
01:23
So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry
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Bàsicament estàvem fent un mapa del microcircuit
01:26
of the brain: which cells are communicating with
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del cervell: quines cèl·lules es comuniquen amb
01:29
which cells, with which chemicals, and then in
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quines altres, quines substàncies químiques hi intervenen
01:32
what quantities of those chemicals?
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i en quines quantitats?
01:35
So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing
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La meva vida tenia molt de sentit perquè estava realitzant
01:39
this type of research during the day.
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aquest tipus d'investigació durant el dia.
01:42
But then in the evenings and on the weekends,
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Al vespre i als caps de setmana,
01:45
I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
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viatjava com a defensora de NAMI, l'Aliança Nacional per a Enfermetats Mentals.
01:50
But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up
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Però el matí del 10 de desembre de 1996, em vaig llevar
01:53
to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.
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i vaig descobrir que jo mateixa tenia un transtorn cerebral.
01:57
A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain.
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Un vas sanguini va explotar en la meitat esquerra del meu cervell.
02:01
And in the course of four hours,
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I en el transcurs de quatre hores,
02:03
I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to
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vaig observar com el meu cervell es deteriorava per complet
02:08
process all information. On the morning of the hemorrhage,
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i perdia la capacitat de processar informació. El matí de l'hemorràgia,
02:12
I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life.
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no podia caminar, parlar, llegir, escriure o recordar res de la meva vida.
02:18
I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.
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En definitiva, vaig passar a ser una nena en un cos de dona.
02:23
If you've ever seen a human brain,
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Si algun cop heu vist un cervell humà,
02:26
it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another.
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és clar que els dos hemisferis estan completament separats un de l'altre.
02:29
And I have brought for you a real human brain.
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Us he portat un cervell humà de veritat.
02:38
So this is a real human brain.
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Això és un cervell humà de veritat.
02:46
This is the front of the brain,
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Aquesta és la part frontal del cervell,
02:48
the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,
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la part del darrera amb la medul·la espinal que hi penja,
02:52
and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head.
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i així és com estaria col·locat dins del meu cap.
02:56
And when you look at the brain, it's obvious that
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Quan mirem el cervell, és evident
02:58
the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another.
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que les dues escorces cerebrals estan totalment separades.
03:04
For those of you who understand computers,
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Per a aquells de vosaltres que entengueu d'ordinadors,
03:06
our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor,
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l'hemisferi dret funciona com un processador en paral·lel,
03:09
while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor.
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mentre que l'hemisferi esquerre funciona com un processador en sèrie.
03:13
The two hemispheres do communicate with one another
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Els dos hemisferis es comuniquen entre ells
03:16
through the corpus collosum,
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a través del cos callós,
03:18
which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers.
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que està format per uns 300 milions d'axons.
03:22
But other than that,
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A banda del cos callós,
03:24
the two hemispheres are completely separate.
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els dos hemisferis estan totalment separats.
03:28
Because they process information differently,
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Processen la informació de forma diferent;
03:31
each of our hemispheres think about different things,
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cadascun dels nostres hemisferis pensa en coses diferents,
03:34
they care about different things, and, dare I say,
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s'encarreguen de coses diferents i, m'atreviria a dir,
03:38
they have very different personalities.
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tenen personalitats ben diferents.
03:43
Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy. Assistant: It has been.
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Perdona. Gràcies. Un plaer. (Ajudant: Un plaer).
03:51
Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment.
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L'hemisferi dret s'encarrega de tot el que té a veure amb el moment present.
03:55
It's all about "right here, right now."
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S'encarrega de " l'aquí i ara".
04:00
Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures
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L'hemisferi dret pensa en imatges
04:03
and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies.
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i aprèn de forma cinestèsica a través del moviment del cos.
04:07
Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously
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La informació, en forma d'energia, flueix dins nostre de forma simultània
04:12
through all of our sensory systems
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a través dels sistemes sensorials
04:14
and then it explodes into this enormous collage
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i aleshores esclata i es converteix en aquest collage gegantí
04:17
of what this present moment looks like,
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amb informació visual d'aquest moment present,
04:21
what this present moment smells like and tastes like,
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amb informació olfactiva i gustativa,
04:24
what it feels like and what it sounds like.
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amb informació tàctil i sonora.
04:29
I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me
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Sóc un ésser energètic connectat a l'energia que m'envolta
04:34
through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.
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mitjançant la consciència del meu hemisferi dret.
04:37
We are energy-beings connected to one another
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Som éssers energètics connectats els uns als altres
04:41
through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family.
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mitjançant la consciència del nostre hemisferi dret com una gran família humana.
04:47
And right here,
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I aquí i ara,
04:49
right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet,
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som germans i germanes en aquest planeta,
04:51
here to make the world a better place.
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estem aquí per fer del món un lloc millor.
04:55
And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.
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I en aquest moment, som éssers perfectes, complets i bells.
05:02
My left hemisphere -- our left hemisphere -- is a very different place.
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L'hemisferi esquerre és completament diferent.
05:07
Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically.
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L'hemisferi esquerre pensa de forma lineal i metòdica.
05:11
Our left hemisphere
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L'hemisferi esquerre
05:13
is all about the past and it's all about the future.
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s'encarrega del passat i del futur.
05:17
Our left hemisphere is designed to take that
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Està dissenyat per prendre
05:20
enormous collage of the present moment and start
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aquell collage gegantí del moment present
05:23
picking out details, details and more details about those details.
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i començar a escollir detalls, detalls i més detalls sobre aquests detalls.
05:27
It then categorizes and
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I aleshores els classifica
05:29
organizes all that information, associates it
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i organitza tota la informació, l'associa a
05:33
with everything in the past we've ever learned, and
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tot allò del passat que hem après
05:36
projects into the future all of our possibilities.
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i projecta en el futur totes les nostres possibilitats.
05:40
And our left hemisphere thinks in language.
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L'hemisferi esquerre pensa en el llenguatge.
05:44
It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my
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És aquesta xerrameca contínua dins el cervell que em connecta
05:47
internal world to my external world.
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amb el meu món intern i el meu món extern.
05:51
It's that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you gotta remember
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És aquella veueta que em diu: "Ep, no t'oblidis
05:55
to pick up bananas on your way home.
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de comprar plàtans de camí a casa.
05:58
I need them in the morning."
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Els necessitaré demà al matí".
05:59
It's that calculating intelligence that reminds me
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És aquesta intel·ligència calculadora que em recorda
06:02
when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important,
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quan he de fer bugada. Però el més important, potser,
06:05
it's that little voice that says to me,
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és aquella veueta que em diu:
06:09
"I am. I am." And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am,"
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"Jo sóc. Jo sóc". I tan bon punt l'hemisferi esquerre em diu "jo sóc",
06:15
I become separate.
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esdevinc un ésser separat.
06:18
I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow
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Esdevinc un únic individu sòlid, separat del flux d'energia
06:22
around me and separate from you.
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al meu voltant i separat de vosaltres.
06:25
And this was the portion of my brain that I lost
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Aquesta va ser la part del cervell que vaig perdre
06:28
on the morning of my stroke.
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el matí que vaig patir el vessament cerebral.
06:30
On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a
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El matí que vaig patir el vessament cerebral, em vaig despertar
06:34
pounding pain behind my left eye. And it was the kind of pain --
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amb un dolor molt fort darrera l'ull esquerre.
06:39
caustic pain -- that you get when you
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Era un dolor càustic, com el que tenim
06:41
bite into ice cream. And it just gripped me --
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quan mosseguem un gelat. Apareixia
06:45
and then it released me. And then it just gripped me --
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i desapareixia. I tornava a aparèixer
06:49
and then it released me. And it was very unusual
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i després desapareixia una altra vegada. No era freqüent
06:52
for me to ever experience any kind of pain,
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que patís cap tipus de dolor
06:55
so I thought, "OK, I'll just start my normal routine."
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i vaig pensar "Bé, començaré amb la meva rutina diària".
06:57
So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider,
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Em vaig llevar i vaig pujar a una màquina de fer exercici
07:00
which is a full-body, full-exercise machine.
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amb la que pots treballar tot el cos.
07:03
And I'm jamming away on this thing, and I'm realizing
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I mentre feia exercici, em vaig adonar
07:08
that my hands look like primitive claws grasping
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que les mans semblaven garres primitives que
07:12
onto the bar. And I thought, "That's very peculiar."
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agafaven la barra. I vaig pensar: "Què estrany".
07:15
And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa,
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I vaig mirar-me el cos i vaig pensar: "Vaja,
07:18
I'm a weird-looking thing." And it was as though
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quina aparença més estranya que tinc". Era com si,
07:21
my consciousness had shifted away from my normal
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en comptes de la percepció normal de la realitat
07:24
perception of reality, where I'm the person on the
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on sóc la persona de la màquina que té l'experiència,
07:27
machine having the experience, to some esoteric space
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la meva consciència estigués en un lloc esotèric
07:30
where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.
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on sóc la persona que m'observa tenint aquesta experiència.
07:35
And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was
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Tot era molt estrany i el mal de cap
07:37
just getting worse. So I get off the machine,
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era cada cop pitjor. Així doncs, vaig baixar de la màquina
07:39
and I'm walking across my living room floor, and I
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i, mentre caminava pel menjador,
07:42
realize that everything inside of my body has
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em vaig adonar que tot dins del meu cos
07:44
slowed way down. And every step is very rigid and
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anava molt a poc a poc. Cada passa era molt rígida
07:49
very deliberate. There's no fluidity to my pace,
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i molt deliberada. No hi havia fluïdesa en les passes
07:52
and there's this constriction in my area of perceptions,
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i tota l'àrea de les percepcions estava molt limitada;
07:55
so I'm just focused on internal systems.
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jo estava centrada en els sistemes interns.
07:59
And I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready to
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I mentre estava al bany, preparant-me per
08:01
step into the shower, and I could actually hear the
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entrar a la dutxa, podia realment sentir
08:03
dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice
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el diàleg que hi havia dins el meu cos. I sentia una veueta
08:06
saying, "OK. You muscles, you gotta contract.
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que deia: "Bé, músculs d'aquí, contraieu-vos.
08:09
You muscles, you relax."
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Músculs d'allà, relaxeu-vos".
08:10
And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall.
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Va ser aleshores que vaig perdre l'equilibri i que vaig haver de recolçar-me a la paret.
08:13
And I look down at my arm and I realize
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I quan vaig mirar-me el braç, em vaig adonar que
08:17
that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body.
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ja no podia definir els límits del meu cos.
08:21
I can't define where I begin and where I end,
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No podia definir on començava i on acabava
08:25
because the atoms and the molecules of my arm
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perquè els àtoms i les molècules del meu braç
08:28
blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall.
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es mesclaven amb els àtoms i les molècules de la paret.
08:32
And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.
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L'únic que podia detectar era aquesta energia. Energia.
08:36
And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me?
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I em vaig preguntar: "Què m'està passant?
08:38
What is going on?" And in that moment, my brain chatter --
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Què em passa?" I en aquell instant, la xerrameca del cervell,
08:42
my left hemisphere brain chatter -- went totally silent.
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la xerrameca de l'hemisferi esquerre va desaparèixer per complet.
08:45
Just like someone took a remote control
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Com si algú hagués agafat el comandament a distància
08:48
and pushed the mute button. Total silence.
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i hagués premut el botó de silenci. Silenci total.
08:51
And at first I was shocked to find myself
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Al principi, em va sorprendre trobar-me a mi mateixa
08:54
inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately
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dins d'una ment silenciosa. Però de seguida
08:58
captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me.
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em va captivar la magnificència de l'energia del voltant.
09:02
And because I could no longer identify
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I com que ja no podia identificar
09:06
the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive.
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els límits del meu cos, em vaig sentir enorme i expansiva.
09:09
I felt at one with all the energy that was,
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Em sentia en harmonia amb l'energia
09:13
and it was beautiful there.
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i era meravellós.
09:16
Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back
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Aleshores, de cop i volta, l'hemisferi esquerre va tornar
09:18
online, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem!
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a connectar-se i em va dir: "Ep! Tenim un problema!
09:21
We got a problem! We gotta get some help."
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Tenim un problema! Hem d'aconseguir ajuda!"
09:23
And I'm going, "Ahh! I got a problem.
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I jo que dic, "Ahh! Tinc un problema.
09:25
I got a problem." So it's like, "OK. OK. I got a problem."
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Tinc un problema". I em dic: "Bé, tinc un problema".
09:28
But then I immediately drifted right back
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Però immediatament després vaig tornar a anar a la deriva
09:31
out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately
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en la meva consciència, en l'espai que
09:34
refer to this space as La La Land.
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anomeno de manera afectuosa la Terra de La La La.
09:38
But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would
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Era meravellós. Imagineu-vos com seria
09:40
be like to be totally disconnected from your brain
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estar completament desconnectat de la xerrameca
09:43
chatter that connects you to the external world.
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cerebral que us connecta amb el món exterior.
09:46
So here I am in this space, and my job -- and any
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I allà mateix era jo; la meva feina (i tot l'estrès
09:49
stress related to my job -- it was gone.
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relacionat amb la feina) havia desaparegut.
09:52
And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine
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Sentia el cos més lleuger. Imagineu-vos:
09:55
all of the relationships in the external world and any
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totes les relacions del món exterior
09:59
stressors related to any of those -- they were gone.
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(i qualsevol factor estressant associat a aquestes relacions) havien desaparegut.
10:02
And I felt this sense of peacefulness.
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I també sentia aquesta mena de pau.
10:07
And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage!
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Imagineu-vos com seria perdre 37 anys de bagatge emocional!
10:12
(Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria --
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(Rialles) Em sentia eufòrica.
10:18
euphoria. It was beautiful.
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Eufòrica. Era meravellós.
10:21
And then, again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says,
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Aleshores, una altra vegada, l'hemisferi esquerre va connectar-se i em va dir:
10:23
"Hey! You've got to pay attention.
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"Eps! Has de parar atenció.
10:25
We've got to get help." And I'm thinking, "I got to get help.
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Hem d'aconseguir ajuda". I jo, que penso, "He d'aconseguir ajuda.
10:27
I gotta focus."
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M'he de concentrar".
10:29
So I get out of the shower and I mechanically
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Així que vaig sortir de la dutxa, em vaig vestir
10:31
dress and I'm walking around my apartment,
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mecànicament i, mentre caminava pel pis,
10:33
and I'm thinking, "I gotta get to work. I gotta get to work.
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anava pensant "He d'anar a treballar. He d'anar a treballar.
10:35
Can I drive? Can I drive?"
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Que puc conduir? Puc conduir?"
10:38
And in that moment my right arm went totally
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Just en aquell moment, el braç dret
10:40
paralyzed by my side. Then I realized,
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se'm va paralitzar per complet. I me'n vaig adonar:
10:43
"Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke! I'm having a stroke!"
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"Déu meu! Un vessament cerebral! Estic patint un vessament!
10:46
And the next thing my brain says to me is, "Wow!
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I aleshores el meu cervell em va dir: "Vaja!
10:49
This is so cool." (Laughter) "This is so cool!
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Això és una passada". (Rialles). "És una passada!"
10:55
How many brain scientists have the opportunity
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Quants investigadors del cervell tenen l'oportunitat
10:57
to study their own brain from the inside out?"
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d'estudiar el seu propi cervell des de dins?
11:00
(Laughter)
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(Rialles)
11:02
And then it crosses my mind, "But I'm a very busy woman!"
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I aleshores se'm va ocórrer: "Però sóc una dona molt ocupada!"
11:06
(Laughter) "I don't have time for a stroke!"
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(Rialles). "No tinc temps per a això!"
11:09
So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening,
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I em dic: "Molt bé, no puc evitar patir un vessament cerebral,
11:11
so I'll do this for a week or two, and
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estaré amb aixó un parell de setmanes
11:14
then I'll get back to my routine. OK.
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i després tornaré a la meva rutina. Molt bé.
11:16
So I gotta call help. I gotta call work."
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He de trobar ajuda. He de trucar a la feina".
11:18
I couldn't remember the number at work,
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No podia recordar el telèfon de la feina
11:20
so I remembered, in my office I had a business card
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però vaig recordar que a la oficina tenia una targeta de visita
11:22
with my number on it. So I go into my business room,
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amb el número de telèfon. Així que vaig anar al despatx
11:25
I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.
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i vaig treure una muntanya de set centímetres de targetes de visita.
11:28
And I'm looking at the card on top and even though
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Vaig mirar la de sobre de tot i,
11:31
I could see clearly in my mind's eye what my business card looked like,
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malgrat que podia veure-la perfectament a la ment,
11:35
I couldn't tell if this
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no podia distingir si aquella
11:37
was my card or not, because all I could see were pixels.
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era la meva targeta perquè només hi podia veure píxels.
11:40
And the pixels of the words blended
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Els píxels de les paraules es mesclaven
11:42
with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols,
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amb els píxels del fons i els dels símbols
11:45
and I just couldn't tell.
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i no podia distingir-la.
11:47
And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity.
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Aleshores esperava el que anomeno una onada de claredat.
11:50
And in that moment, I would be able to
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En aquell moment, era capaç
11:53
reattach to normal reality and I could tell
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de connectar-me de nou a la realitat i era capaç de dir
11:56
that's not the card ... that's not the card ... that's not the card.
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aquesta no és la targeta... aquesta no és la targeta...
11:58
It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down
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Vaig trigar 45 minutes a reduïr en 2 centímetres
12:02
inside of that stack of cards.
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la muntanya de targetes.
12:05
In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is
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Mentrestant, durant 45 minuts, l'hemorràgia
12:07
getting bigger in my left hemisphere.
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es va anar fent més gran en l'hemisferi esquerre.
12:09
I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone,
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No entenia els números. No entenia el telèfon,
12:12
but it's the only plan I have.
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però era l'únic pla que tenia.
12:14
So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card,
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Així que vaig agafar el telèfon i me'l vaig colocar al davant. Vaig agafar la targeta
12:17
I put it right here, and
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i també la vaig colocar al davant
12:19
I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card
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i vaig provar de fer coincidir la forma dels gargots de la targeta
12:23
to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad.
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amb la dels gargots del telèfon.
12:26
But then I would drift back out into La La Land,
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Però aleshores vaig anar una altra vegada a la Terra de La La La
12:29
and not remember when I came back if I'd already
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i quan vaig tornar no podia recordar
12:32
dialed those numbers.
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si ja havia marcat els números.
12:33
So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump
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Així que vaig fer servir el braç paralitzat com si fos un monyó
12:37
and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed
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i vaig cobrir els números a mida que els anava prement,
12:40
them, so that as I would come back to normal
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de manera que quan tornava a la realitat,
12:43
reality, I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."
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podia dir: "Sí, ja he marcat aquest número".
12:48
Eventually, the whole number gets dialed
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Finalment, vaig marcar el número sencer
12:50
and I'm listening to the phone, and
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i estava sentint el telèfon
12:52
my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me,
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quan el meu company de feina va despenjar i em va dir:
12:56
"Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter) And I think to myself,
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"Buff buff". (Rialles). I em vaig dir a mi mateixa,
13:01
"Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"
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"Déu meu, sembla un Golden Retriever!".
13:08
And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him:
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I, molt clarament dins del cap, li vaig respondre:
13:10
"This is Jill! I need help!"
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"Sóc la Jill! Necessito ajuda!"
13:13
And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo."
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I el que vaig sentir que deia és: "Buff buff buff buff".
13:16
I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever."
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I vaig pensar, "Déu meu, semblo un Golden Retriever".
13:18
So I couldn't know -- I didn't know that
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No vaig saber que no podia
13:21
I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried.
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parlar o entendre la meva llengua fins que ho vaig provar.
13:24
So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.
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El meu company es va adonar que necessitava ajuda i me la va aconseguir.
13:27
And a little while later, I am riding in an
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Una mica més tard, estava en una ambulància
13:31
ambulance from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital.
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anant d'un hospital de Boston cap el General Hospital de Massachusetts
13:35
And I curl up into a little fetal ball.
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Em vaig arraulir
13:37
And just like a balloon with the last bit of air,
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i, igual que un globus que només té una mica d'aire
13:44
just, just right out of the balloon,
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que s'escapa,
13:47
I just felt my energy lift and just -- I felt my spirit surrender.
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vaig sentir com l'energia s'escapava i vaig notar com la meva ànima es rendia.
13:51
And in that moment, I knew that I
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En aquell moment vaig saber del cert que
13:57
was no longer the choreographer of my life.
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ja no era la coreògrafa de la meva vida.
14:00
And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a
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I que, o bé els metges salvaven el meu cos i em donaven
14:03
second chance at life, or this was perhaps
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una segona oportunitat en la vida, o bé aquest era
14:06
my moment of transition.
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potser el meu moment de transició.
14:13
When I woke later that afternoon, I was shocked
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Quan em vaig despertar aquella tarda, em vaig sorprendre
14:17
to discover that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit surrender,
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de ser viva. Quan vaig sentir que la meva ànima es rendia,
14:22
I said goodbye to my life.
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li vaig dir adéu a la vida.
14:25
And my mind was now suspended between two very
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La meva ment estava suspesa entre dos plans de realitat
14:29
opposite planes of reality. Stimulation coming in
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completament oposats. Els estímuls que entraven
14:33
through my sensory systems felt like pure pain.
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a través del sistema sensorial em provocaven el dolor més pur.
14:37
Light burned my brain like wildfire, and sounds
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La llum em cremava el cervell
14:41
were so loud and chaotic that I could not pick a
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i els sons eren tan forts i caòtics que no podia distingir
14:45
voice out from the background noise,
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la veu del soroll de fons
14:49
and I just wanted to escape. Because I could not identify the
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i feia que l'únic que desitges fos escapar d'allà. Com no podia identificar
14:53
position of my body in space, I felt enormous and expansive,
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la posició del meu cos en l'espai, em sentia enorme i expansiva,
14:58
like a genie just liberated from her bottle.
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com un geni que acaben d'alliberar de la llàntia.
15:03
And my spirit soared free, like a great whale
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La meva ànima s'enlairava lliure, com una gran balena
15:08
gliding through the sea of silent euphoria.
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nadant en un mar d'eufòria silenciosa.
15:14
Nirvana. I found Nirvana. And I remember thinking,
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El nirvana. Vaig trobar el nirvana. I recordo que pensava
15:22
there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze
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que no hi havia forma possible de que pugués encabir
15:25
the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.
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aquest "jo" tan gegantí dins d'aquest cos tan petit.
15:32
But then I realized, "But I'm still alive! I'm still alive,
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I vaig pensar "Encara sóc viva! Encara sóc viva
15:36
and I have found Nirvana. And if I have
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i he trobat el nirvana. I si he trobat
15:40
found Nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone
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el nirvana i encara sóc viva, aleshores
15:43
who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured a world
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qualsevol persona viva pot trobar el nirvana". I vaig imaginar-me
15:50
filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate,
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un món ple de persones belles, pacífiques, compassives
15:54
loving people who knew that they could come to
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i plenes d'amor que sabien que podien venir
15:57
this space at any time. And that they could
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a aquest lloc quan volguessin. I que podien
16:01
purposely choose to step to the right of their
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escollir de forma deliberada fer una passa a la dreta
16:05
left hemispheres and find this peace. And then
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de l'hemisferi esquerre i trobar aquesta pau.
16:10
I realized what a tremendous gift this experience
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Aleshores em vaig adonar que aquesta experiència podia ser
16:14
could be, what a stroke of insight this could be
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un gran regal; podia ser un vessament d'entendiment
16:19
to how we live our lives. And it motivated me to recover.
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sobre com viure la vida. I va motivar la meva recuperació.
16:28
Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the
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Dues setmanes i mitja després de l'hemorràgia,
16:31
surgeons went in and they removed a blood clot
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els cirurgians van treure un coàgul de sang
16:33
the size of a golf ball that was pushing on my language centers.
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de la mida d'una pilota de golf que empenyia els centres de llenguatge.
16:36
Here I am with my mama,
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En aquesta fotografia, estic amb la mare,
16:38
who is a true angel in my life. It took me eight years to completely recover.
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qui és un àngel per a mi. He trigat vuit anys a recuperar-me.
16:47
So who are we? We are the life-force power of the universe,
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Qui som? Som la força vital de l'univers,
16:52
with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds.
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amb destresa manual i dues ments cognitives.
16:57
And we have the power to choose, moment by moment,
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I tenim el poder per escollir, a cada moment,
17:01
who and how we want to be in the world.
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qui i com volem ser en aquest món.
17:06
Right here, right now, I can step into the
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Aquí i ara, puc entrar dins
17:08
consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are.
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la consciència de l'hemisferi dret, on som.
17:12
I am the life-force power of the universe.
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Sóc la força vital de l'univers.
17:16
I am the life-force power of the 50 trillion beautiful
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Sóc la força vital de 50 bilions de preciosos
17:19
molecular geniuses that make up my form, at one with all that is.
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genis moleculars que em donen forma, en sintonia amb tot el que existeix.
17:25
Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of
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O puc escollir entrar dins la consciència
17:28
my left hemisphere, where I become a single individual,
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de l'hemisferi esquerre, on sóc un sol individu,
17:32
a solid. Separate from the flow,
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un ésser sòlid. Separat del flux,
17:36
separate from you. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:
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separat de vosaltres. Sóc la doctora Jill Bolte Taylor:
17:39
intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside of me.
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intel·lectual, anatomista del cervell. Aquests són els "jo" al meu interior.
17:50
Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when?
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Quin escolliríeu? Quin escolliu? I quan?
17:59
I believe that the more time we spend
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Crec que com més temps
18:03
choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry
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escollim activar el circuit de pau interior
18:06
of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will
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de l'hemisferi dret, més pau
18:09
project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be.
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projectarem al món i el nostre planeta serà un lloc més pacífic.
18:13
And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.
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I vaig pensar que valia la pena difondre aquesta idea.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jill Bolte Taylor - NeuroanatomistBrain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened -- and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery.
Why you should listen
One morning, a blood vessel in Jill Bolte Taylor's brain exploded. As a brain scientist, she realized she had a ringside seat to her own stroke. She watched as her brain functions shut down one by one: motion, speech, memory, self-awareness ...
Amazed to find herself alive, Taylor spent eight years recovering her ability to think, walk and talk. She has become a spokesperson for stroke recovery and for the possibility of coming back from brain injury stronger than before. In her case, although the stroke damaged the left side of her brain, her recovery unleashed a torrent of creative energy from her right. From her home base in Indiana, she now travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the "Singin' Scientist."
Jill Bolte Taylor | Speaker | TED.com